People that make friends easily, what do you talk about in conversations that make someone interested in being your friend?

15 comments

1. I ask them about their hobbies typically, people can drone on about whatever they like and they appreciate someone taking interest.

2. I start with how’s it going and pick up a topic from how they answer. Present my likes and they present theirs. If they don’t give out good responses, I move away. A conversation is always two-ways. One cannot alone have a conversation … unless you talking to yourself

3. I ask them about themselves, people love talking about themselves. Then I hope they ask questions about me and that’s how you have a conversation

4. My husband makes friends easily and honestly I feel like he just unashamedly talks about what he likes until they find something in common.

   People constantly tell you to show an interest in the other person, but you need to also demonstrate that you think you’re an interesting person and have something to offer. Come to think of it, he never struggles to find things to talk about, he only doesn’t like talking to people with bad attitudes.

   And the other big thing I notice is that he never worries about being liked. He goes in expecting to have a good conversation

   Edited for clarity

5. People like having an attractive person come up to them to listen to them talk about what they like to talk about.

   So Step 1.) be attractive. Step 2.) don’t be unattractive, Step 3.) if you are ugly, act confident and interesting.

   Maybe you can tell jokes, share interesting experiences they would be interested in hearing about (travel to Mexico, road-trip across America, some bar fight, perform in a renaissance fair, etc.), listen well and ask good follow-up questions, etc.

   It helps to have interesting life experiences. Veterans, for example, seem to have an in with other veterans to swap stories, and there will be hangers-on who want to hear about their experiences. Same with dungeons and dragons players, amateur rock musicians, etc.

6. They either talk about themselves, or I talk about myself and they, somehow some way, don’t get bored of it.

   took me a very very long time to realize that it’s OK for me to talk about myself….

7. It’s important to be completely comfortable with ambiguity. Don’t be afraid to be a little vulnerable if you can balance it with a sense of peaceful acceptance and mutual interest in how they’re really feeling or what they’re going through that day. You can make strangers’ days just by caring a little, and when you come across someone with similar values and outlook who appreciates and reciprocates the themes at play, there’s (measured/gradual) shared excitement and spending more time together is the next natural thing. Then you take turns inviting each other to things, however spaced out those events are early on is inconsequential. Find 3 or 4 people like that, and you’ll have a full enough social schedule. Introduce good friends to each other, and they’ll introduce the friends they trust to you.

   When you’re actually struggling is an opportunity to deepen relationships if you can authentically lean on them a little bit, with mindfulness of boundaries. Letting them in and gratefully accepting help however they offer it gives them a sense of purpose and the comfort knowing that you’re there for them too. You don’t want friends that you can’t call day or night if you’re really in a jam

8. General commonalities tbh. Tho, I don’t make friends too often since I don’t go out often, but when I’m out, I usually meet at least one new person each week.

9. Just do gossips about the day and that’s it..

10. It’s not about what you making freinds easily , it’s the energy you possess, some will be attracted to it some not, sometimes people have personal issues with themselves that has nothing to do with you, so don’t take it personal if they don’t talk to you, their problem, you can just be in the wrong crowd of people who are not part if your journey, stop seeking others, live for yourself enjoy yourself, love yourself, we need to stop being needy of others and looking for approval if others, they have their journey to live so go live yours.

11. I talk very loudly and don’t give them an opportunity to speak.

    I say “wanna see a funny video?” and immediately start showing a 15 minute video of highlights from my favorite Twitch streamer. I laugh (again, loudly) so they know what parts are funny. I keep asking them “isn’t that fucking hilarious” after funny parts.

    I get very physically close to them.

    I repeat funny parts from the video.

    I say funny things from good shows (mostly Rick and Morty and Family Guy).

    I start talking about anime and summarize the plot of my favorite series.

    I get very, very angry if they disagree with me.

    I tell them political conspiracy theories I found online, and pressure them into agreeing with me about them.

12. will try not to repeat what other people have written. Try not to monologue endlessly without pause, give the person you’re talking to opportunities to respond and “pick up what you’re putting down”. It gives them agency in the conversation, and also an out if they aren’t feeling it. A lot of people respond positively to this type of respect.

    if there’s something you wanna talk about, maybe start by asking their broad opinion on it. “travelled anywhere cool?” “do you like x sport?”, “did you hear about x current event?”, “do you play videogames?” “seen any good shows/movies recently?” Helps you to gauge if thats something they’d want to talk about at all, and then you can segue into your own experiences/preferences.

13. Listen carefully and reply like you are not over interested in what is being said but certainly be as interested as the topic deserves. Ask about certain key points to be elaborated. Interject a few words from to time to time to show you are listening and interested. Usually they’re not interesting at first but the more you get into what they’re saying the more in common you’ll find. Friendship ensues. Be genuine all the time.

14. Find common ground. That’s really the tried and true method. And even then you could approach them just having a bad day and despite doing everything right, fail anyway. One big thing is try not to seem desperate

15. Talk with a tone like you know them…keep it fun light and ask questions about them be engaged eye contact and give out true interest energy..I make friends easily and I’m sincere if I want to know them more…