I (24f) have been seeing this guy (27m) casually for a few months. at the start he said he is just using me, and he’s being straight up with his intentions so no one gets hurt.
since then, we’ve had sex multiple times, i sleep over at his place sometimes, we cuddle, share blankets, watch shows. whilst we cuddle, we hold hands. sometimes i go round and we’ll just nap together. he’ll lay on me and when i scratch his back / head without him asking, he says i love how you know that. he tells me in depth things about his family and his future and asks me personal questions about my life. we used to always hug when saying hi and bye, but now he kisses my face when i’m leaving his place.
he told me he’s moving back in with his parents in a few months. i always assume we’re not exclusive so i don’t get hurt, so i said it’ll be a lot harder to bring girls back to your house now. he replied yea i’m going to have to smuggle you in as one of my guy friends.
is this the right thing? or is it a bit too relationship-y? i’m only asking because it wasn’t like this at the start, it seems to have become more intimate and relationship like, and i think it will only become more. what does it sound like?
tldr; fwb relationship, with relationship aspects. seems to be developing into something more, is this right ?
4 comments
Could it be that you’re both lying to yourselves and to each other with regards to the level of attachment in this relationship?
This is not a fwb situation, it’s sounding like way more than that.
This is basically a self terminating relationship. It’s not FWB. You have everything you’d see in a relationship, just with the expectation that it will end regardless.
Is this right for a FWB?
It depends.
But it doesn’t sound like you discussed things like hand holding or meeting up for anything other than hooking up previously so that’s probably where the confusion is.
If it’s too much for you, say something now if it makes you uncomfortable or if you think feelings may get involved.
Don’t mistake relationship like actions for feelings on his end unless he literally asks you to take it to the next level.
It sounds like more. Ask yourself, what do I want? And then see how you could address this.