I feel embarrassed and horrible even posting this. But, my husband is from Venezuela and he has quite a wandering eye. He loves to check out women. And he does it in front of me too. He does it in person and on social media. To this day. I’ve noticed it and he denies it. Based on this, yes my trust in him is waning especially because for some reason I thought that after we got married, checking out women would just become boring to him. At least it did for me. It didn’t for him.
It makes me feel so small because he gets SO distracted by women and it’s unnerving especially when I’m around! He never makes comments but it’s like he’s just HAS to look. At every cute face, nice body, nice ass, boobs, etc etc. These women never give him the time of day obviously (at least not when I’m around) BUT I always wondered, what if they did? What if he was eyeing a woman and that same woman came up to him trying to talk and flirt with him because it appears he is trying to get their attention or make eye contact.
Since we’ve been together, it hasn’t happened. At least not to my knowledge. And to be truthful I really don’t know how my husband would react if he were faced directly with temptation. Based on how he reacts when women are around, I’m genuinely concerned. Because he seems like he lacks self-control. He doesn’t say anything but a single glance isn’t enough. He has to make at least 3 quick glances and and a few more from the corner of his eye until they’re gone …. It’s madness. I wouldn’t be thinking any of this if he just acted like a normal person. So I thought of calling up a friend of a friend and playing a few tricks on him just to see what he’s really made of. I feel like an asshole already. But I feel it’s the only way because I’m not understanding why he does what he does.
Edit: Although I was really toying with the idea, I wouldn’t feel right doing it. I just want to know that my husband only has eyes for me. It doesn’t seem that way at all. Even though he doesn’t openly flirt with people in front of me, I still find it hard to trust him 100%.
16 comments
So you want a sabotage your marriage to prove a point to what?
When you test for failure, you often find it.
This won’t turn out the way you think it will.
Don’t give him more reason to cheat. I think a lot of people would cheat if given an easy opportunity.
Testing your spouse is never a good idea. What exactly is the outcome you hope for? You would just be purposefully planting more mistrust between you two.
I think in general its perfectly fine to look at other people, we’re human. I do it, my husband does it. That doesn’t mean either of us would ever cheat. That being said, if your husband is visibly staring that’s rude and that needs to be addressed. Its ok to look, not ok to stare
> because for some reason I thought that after we got married, checking out women would just become boring to him.
So you entered into a marriage with the expectation that he’ll change? That’s a bad way to enter into a marriage and it rarely (if ever) works out.
My suggestion is that you both sit and calmly discuss this and make sure he’s aware how this makes you feel. Let him know, you are very concerned that a pretty face or nice tits will walk up to him one day and he’ll cheat on you. Let him know that if that were to ever happen, the marriage will be over with no chance of working things out. Infidelity is an absolute game ender for your marriage.
If you want, discuss with him exactly what you’d realistically expect him to do if a pretty face or tits walked up to him and flirted. Are you going to be pissed if you find out he smiled back at them and told him he was flattered but he’s happily married and no thanks?
Then you have to decide if you trust him or not. Don’t test him. If you do trust him, continue doing so until he gives you reason to no. If you don’t trust him, you might as well end the marriage.
This sounds psychotic. This is your life you are taking about, not a movie. If you don’t trust your spouse you should either address that at the root cause or leave and find someone that you do trust.
Good Lord…. Marriage is tough enough without adding sadistic mind games to the mix. If he “passes” the test… and then finds out you played with his mind.. I wouldn’t be surprised if you weren’t bounced to the curb in place of someone who doesn’t “test the marriage”.
You are dancing with razor blades on fire friend.
Look , in real life a husband looks and maybe chats for a second and that’s it. What you are doing is much more sexual aggression that your friend will advance then what hubby may ever need to deal with. It’s wrong what you are doing to him and yourself
If you’re ready to trick/trap him like that, it’s already over.
Sort of a dick answer.. but it seems he is just window shopping.. I do the same thing.. in front of my wife. But it’s only looking. She will even point out women for me to look at. There is an insecurity here that needs to be addressed. Talk with him in depth about it. Like someone else mentioned, you test for failure you will find it. At what point do you consider it to far? If a woman talks to me, I will talk back because I’m friendly. But will shut it down because I’m not going to cheat, if I wanted to. I am marries point blank.
Gurl don’t.
he has no respect for you. personally, love, respect and appreciation are non negotiables for me. the absolute bare minimum. if any of that isn’t there, I’m out. no test needed. what some of the people on this sub put up with is beyond me.
His eyes are allowed to wander.
Hope he only has penis for you.
I was 14 when an adult taught me not to stare.
He said ” you got to side eye that shit”
Lol
I dont understand this…you want to set up your husband so you can create issues in your marriage?
You don’t trust him because he checks out other women constantly.