I have been using the Satisfyer for 2 yrs straight both solo and with my partner. It gives me the best orgasms ever, very quickly, with no effort. I’ve developed a dependence to it just because of how convenient it is. But it has really desensitized me to other forms of touch. I used to be able to get off with fingers perfectly fine and it would feel GREAT. And cunnilingus used to feel out of this world. Now everything feels “meh”, compared to my vibrator and it makes me so depressed. Rubbing my clit is basically like rubbing my left lip at this point.
I decided to quit using my Satisfyer and it’s been about 2 weeks cold turkey. I also quit because I noticed my clit would be sore with random pains (even throughout the next day) despite just using it once a day, not even close to the highest settings. I HAVE been able to orgasm “acoustic style” but the orgasms don’t feel nearly as good, they take forever to arrive, and I don’t really feel that “climb.” It hardly feels good AS im doing it. Before I bought my Satisfyer, masturbating with just my hands would feel amazing from the beginning, middle, and climax. Now, masturbating feels like a chore and I no longer feel that amazing stress relief before bedtime.
I feel broken and like I’m permanently damaged from my vibrator. I’m not saying vibrators are bad or that I’m giving into the “misogynistic conspiracy theories.” I think they’re great tools for lots of people but I don’t want to keep depending on mine anymore.
I’m hoping there’s someone out there who has exclusively used a vibe for a while, quit, experienced this really sh*tty phase I’m talking about, and was able to climb out of it. Because I’m feeling hopeless.
TLDR; I’ve been using a vibrator for 2 years straight and quit because I developed an obvious dependence to it (and developed genital discomfort) and couldn’t achieve satisfaction any other way. Now after being vibrator free for 2 weeks, manual stimulation feels extremely lackluster and I feel like I’m never going to get back to my old self who used to enjoy manual stimulation very much.
30 comments
How bad is the discomfort?
Do you watch pornography during these masterbation sessions with the vibrator? Men also can have this problem of a mental loop that can prevent enjoyment of real sex. I agree it can be addictive but you are wise to realize this problem and try to get out of this loop.
If it is a major concern, just keep going with the acoustic methods to retrain your body. You will eventually regain sensitivity. The amount you regain and the time it takes varies by person. It can be frustrating during the retraining period, as you mention, longer to orgasm and weaker orgasms, but if you want to try to fix it, you are on the right path.
Regarding the satisfyer toy, is that one that has a hard nub that pounds the clit while “sucking”, or is is the type that only sends air pulses? I ask because we have both types of clit sucking toys, and my wife does not like the one that has the hard nub in the middle of the suction area, causes her pain after. She loves the one that sends air pulse only. So, even if you decide to keep using a clit sucking toy, a different version might be less aggressive in terms of desensitization and pain after.
Sounds like it’s time for a visit with your gynecologist….. I think you broke your sex organ!
I experienced something similar. It can take a lot longer then 2 weeks to get sensitive again but it will happen. I am as responsive now as I was before I ever used a vibrator, more so perhaps. But it has been years since I used one. A lot of people on Reddit told me that my experience wasn’t true, that vibrators couldn’t reduce sensitivity, that I’m trying to shame people who rely on them…. So I quit reddit for a long time. What you experience is valid. It is similar to what men experience that we call “death grip” you will get through the crap phase. You may have to relearn how to pleasure yourself a bit, but that can be very fun in its own way.
Grip of death, innit?
I am always desensitized cuz of my vibrator, and in the past I took a break (not even intentionally) and all my sensitivity came back. You can gain it back!
I’ve had this issue. I actually don’t use my vibrator more than a couple of times a month, now. (My husband and I are verrry active, so it isn’t necessary for me, but understand this isn’t ideal for all!). It simply took away from what he could give me.
I’m right there with you with my gspot vibe. Nothing compares. I’m proud of you for working on it and wish you luck.
Following cuz I’m having the same exact issue
I feel your pain. I have a vibrator called the Rose. It’s wonderful and does the job but last night my bf went down on me and I could not come for the life of me. I felt bad. He normally makes me come with oral. I haven’t seen him in a week and have been depending on my vibrator. So I’m trying to ween off of it til my sensitivity comes back. But good luck hope all goes well for you.
Two weeks is not enough time to rewrite how your body responds to a very repeatable sensation. You can do it, but expect 2 to 3 months to get back to where you were before the toy.
Toys can desensitize you but it’s not permanent.
You’re focusing too much on the “reward” and not the journey. Sex (and masturbation too) shouldn’t be a chore, it’s a fun activity you’re supposed to enjoy. Don’t go into the bedroom thinking “I want to have an earth-shattering orgasm so that I can prove I’m not dependant on my vibrator” and just enjoy the ride, put less pressure on yourself and your partner, which I’m sure also just wants you to enjoy yourself and try to think new ways of having fun, if you feel like it’s gotten stale.
I have the same issue, not so extreme as you yet but I feel like I was using my toy for a while and was struggling to come with my partner. I started easing off on the toy use and going back to my hands and also trying not to masturbate for a couple of days before having sex with my partner
Oh well, if your guy cums quickly he doesn’t have to feel guilty cause you can just use your vibrator to get off.
So, turns out that there really IS a female equivalent of men’s death grip syndrome – interesting… Hopefully, the same advice for men will apply for you as well and you can regain your sensitivity by abstaining from toy use for awhile.
It’s not permanent. I’ve been in a similar position before where I’d masturbate with a vibrator on the highest setting several times a day, and it made it difficult to orgasm without it. I basically just stopped masturbating all together and it took a few weeks for things to get back to normal.
Best advice I can give is try to avoid masturbating all together or do it as little as possible for another couple of weeks. It’ll take some time, but you’re not broken, just desensitised. Same with when a guy death grip masturbates to the point he can’t finish without squeezing the life out of it. You just need a break to reset.
In the future use your vibrator less, or on a lower intensity. Also try and do things manually frequently, if it starts to get harder without the vibrator, repeat the process. This time it shouldn’t take as long if you catch it earlier on.
Just lay off the Satisfyer for a while. You will get your sensitivity back but it might take a while.
“acoustic style” made me smile. I wish you success in your efforts.
Does breast/nipple play help your arousal or other types of foreplay?
My wife threw her vibrators away because she got too desensitized. Oral or fingers didn’t do it anymore. After a while it was back to normal.
Edging/teasing. Touching everywhere but not cl.it. it’ll heighten sensitivity. I’ve never c.um from sex or “acoustic style”! Honestly I feel your feelings. Broken. Something qring with me. But, bodies are all different. It can take awhile to train your nerves. I’m rooting for you!!!
Honestly, just stop orgasms for a month. You’ll eventually feel desperate enough that once you finally go back to ‘acoustic’ (lol) it’ll feel amazing.
What is the acoustic method?
I’ve been in the exact same position (also used Satisfyer which I loved) but I could no longer orgasm without it and it was affecting my relationship.
I’ve stopped it for few weeks now but unfortunately haven’t regained full sensitivity. I’m willing to do whatever it takes to orgasm workout vibrators tbh.
A tale as old as time…. sadly
It took my fiancé almost 6 months to go back to normal sensitivity. She had been using a magic wand for 6 years now. She was really frustrated for those 6 months and it really stressed our sex life because she would get frustrated and more horny. She’d get close but could never finish. About 3 months in she was able to cum from more gentle vibrators. It was an arduous process.
She since has decided its not worth it and went back.
I have the same issue. I notice that after a week without vibrator the same level of sensations are coming back. I’m just using vibrator not that often now. But even then there is some after-effect of desensetization (lowered amount of sensations from the same atimulation) for a couple of days after the usage.
What are acoustic methods
Your body will eventually reset and become more sensitive to your own touch. This is also a mental thing too. Because you know from experience the orgasms you’ve had with the vibe were “better” it can feel discouraging when nothing has met those standards yet. Give it time and don’t be hard on yourself and you’ll have great O’s again. And if you do use vibes in the future try to use them sparingly. Speaking from experience and had something similar happen. I rarely ever use toys now and my partner and myself can go o’natural much more easily and the oegasms are great. Also kudos to you for listening to your body!