For me, one of the big reasons I feel is like, my parents already introduce me as “oh, she is just shy, doesn’t talk much to people” before I even make some attempt lol. Even though if I feel like making effort, I anyway lose all interest as it’s established now, no need to prove anything anyone or act friendly! 😀
Messed up title: What was that one thing that majorly contributed for you to have poor social skills?
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Being told not to talk. Or talk only when you are asked. Or hearing people gossip about stuff that other people have said (which made me say less stuff about myself to avoid being gossiped about and projecting it onto other and thus me not asking them about personal stuff unless they have volunteered the info).
Getting screamed at when i did something wrong as a kid and then being shy af + afraid , then even through i kinda opened up i never really had a actual friend + people using stuff i said against me and for atleast the last 6 years (till end of 2022) being most in touch with people, who only cared about me commenting or caring for their stuff, while showing 0 interest in me and my shit.
The last one might the worst as i thought they were friends, because they messaged out of their own+first. I thought friendship would just build up between people like that and no other way.
Covid I think, it made me quiet and made me learn a lot by myself and realized that I’m an introvert, covid happend in 11th grade for me so I grew up a lot and learned a lot, now my ability to talk is just straight awkward but I’m getting better tho
My autistic traits, unfortunately
Getting lashed out at and ever being bullied in the past when i was in high school. I used to be so active asking questions to teacher until i crossed the line for interupting teacher when he was speaking because i was so curious and so interested in his topic, and he just kicked the desk on me so loudly. It really affected me for the rest of my life and killed my confidence to be stand out.
Not to mention, i was being put into some sort of “dramatic stage” kind of banter to set me up in the made-up drama just to drain me the fuck up so that they can get the enjoyment out of it, and they thought it was nothing serious and they just enjoyed looking at me feeling sad. Fuck them, they emotionally abused me and it really impact my ability to stand up against people. I was being screamed at as attention-seeker when i was 13 years old in high school by seniors because i got famous and it was in freshman training set by school organization run by senior to train our mentality (in more abusive way), and that resulted to my anxiety to try talk or socialize with seniors.
Toxic environment kept me in the fringe most of times, and fuck them i finally feel free as a bird in university, but still these pains still remained in my heart forever and they’re following me in shadow.