so, my bf of 5 years gets sad when he can’t cum, we are sexually almost every single time we see eachother (we don’t live together but see eachother almost every day) whenever we are having sex or i’ve giving him a blow job sometimes he gets soft, which is normal is your having sex almost everyday more than once a day, but in the moment i get so sad , and i feel so insecure, and he obviously feels that and see that, so he gets sad. how do i take the pressure off of him, bcs i know sometimes he feels so pressured , based off of how i react. i don’t know what to do, how do i just initiate sex but now have him feel forced to cum idk what to do.
6 comments
Instead of focusing on making him cum, focus on other things that are pleasurable. You can rub his chest, kiss all over, grind on each other, kiss. If he gets sad, just do these things and he’ll get happy fast. It might even take the pressure off and get him hard again.
I think most important thing to keep in mind is that finishing is not the be all end all of sex. As long as you both accept and are happy with simply being intimate with one another, anything on top of that is a bonus. Also with initiating, figure out what his fantasies are and play them out for him
I think a good start would be working on your own insecurities, and acknowledging (REALLY) that this is completely normal and it’s not your fault or that “you’re making him go soft”. From what I understood of the situation, he’s getting sad because you think it’s YOUR fault when he gets soft, so a good start would be working on your mindset and on those insecurities; and creating a comprehensive environment for sex. It makes sense he’s getting insecure too, if you’re getting insecure and basically putting the blame for him going soft on yourself.
Focus on enjoying the sex instead of the orgasm. You’re making a circle of events the way things are now.
Good lord, take a break.
Most men can’t cum every single day wthout a break.
Are you the one wanting sex every day? Or is it him?
If it is you, are you afraid he is going to leave you if you don’t have sex with him every day? Or are you just that horny? Because I doubt he will leave you if you want sex that much, but it may affect the relationship if you try too hard and don’t give him a break.
Please don’t get sad if he can’t have sex with you every day. That makes him feel bad. Just accept that not all men can have sex every day.
Naughty talk usually does the trick … 😉