As a single father, my kids and I have been through a long journey together from homeless rock-bottom 10 years ago to very comfortable now. I’ve often felt like I failed them because we never had nice things even though I worked hard. A lot of that hard work has paid off in the last couple years but I’m still learning how to manage significant income.
Last year I was looking to purchase us a home in a nice area of our small town. I was basically approved for a price that could purchase pretty much anything but the very high end top 5% of the market. It didn’t quite work out in a way that I felt comfortable buying.
Over the last year, I’ve seen a lot about how time spent together matters much more and often being raised in high-income families can have a negative affect. Over the last few weeks, I’ve been thinking a lot about how I may have misinterpreted that concept. Now I’m wondering if I should be pushing forward to have a higher quality of life as long as I don’t sacrifice continuing to be present and involved in their lives.
2 comments
IMO, I don’t think having a higher cost of living (you used quality and quality does not equal cost) matters that much. It’s far more about being present.
My Dad made (and makes) a lot of money. We always lived very frugally all my life. In many ways that’s passed on to me. We have tried to maintain living at 80% of what I make so that there’s money to save and invest and all that jazz. Living comfortably within our means has only positively affected our lives to this point. We don’t spend extravagantly. We don’t spend as much as the bank says we can either. My house was about 40% of what the bank said I could borrow. About the same for my car.
I think you need to be specific about what quality of life is. On the one hand you have resort vacations, dining out a lot, nice clothes and other luxuries, nice cars.
On the other hand you have being raised without having to deal with crime and bad schools, having a great education, not having to worry about food or necessities, having access to really good healthcare, being able to pay for instrument lessons/sports/tutoring, going on trips to meet your family or to experience different cultures.
Both cost money, and to make that money you have to be away from your kids to a certain degree. Some things build a better person, some things do not.