Look, this is complicated: I met my wife online when we were both young. I was studying college and she was in high school. We talked for years, and although she was always a cold woman, with few words and who refused me sex constantly (she did not allow me to touch her for about six months), but I believed her every time she said she loved me. I thought he just had a hard time expressing himself, because he always talked to me with joy and seemed to care about me: She always asked questions about my day, told me stories about hers and also preferred to do me favors than to have me do her chores.

But a few hours ago I discovered that, while I’m at work, her best friend, Diego (35M), is spending time at our house. This man was the best friend of her older brother, with whom she cut off contact, and considers him her “Real big brother” supposedly. Although I know Diego, I didn’t feel confident that a man would spend so much time alone with my wife, and I decided to check my wife’s cell phone. Let me clarify that my initial concern was that he was making advances on her and she didn’t have the courage to reject him beyond saying no in a whisper.
So, I snooped through her phone and discovered a thousand of messages with sexual roleplay: My wife is roleplaying with cartoon characters in sexual situations with a man she calls her brother.

I’ve heard some of their phone calls: they talk about their roleplays as kids playing with dolls. It’s disgusting.
And if all that is not enough, her sister told me that my wife loves to use dolls to make “adaptation” of their roles in real life.
Should I confront her? Or should I talk to him first?

29 comments

  2. Wow it’s time for you to stop being cluelessly naive and grow an actual backbone. This is not ok.

  3. I stopped caring when you said that you were in college talking to someone 9 years younger.

  6. You are a groomer, and she still behaves like a horny 13 year old. You both need therapy more than you need eachother or even closure. Just leave and get yourself some help.

  10. So… you groomed a teenager when you were a whole-ass adult?

    Yeah, I hope she’s living her best life.

    You are *disgusting*.

    I genuinely don’t care how sad this makes you. She was a *kid* and you were an adult.

  11. Bro. You’re disgusting. She told you no when she was under age. Yet you continued to pursue/stalk her. No wonder she cheated on you. She realized you groomed her, and she’s now realizing what a mistake you were. If you don’t see how bad that is, you can’t be helped.

  13. 9 year difference while she was in HS in you were in college…. The only way that makes sense is if she was a freshman in HS while you were a senior in college. That is extremely fucking weird.

  15. I’m sorry OP but it’s really hard to feel bad for someone who groomed a high schooler.

  16. >I met my wife online when we were both young. I was studying college and she was in high school

    I think Chris Hansen would like a word with you– why don’t you have a seat over there.

  18. So when she was a little kid she was “playing dolls” with a boy 5 years older and then as a teenager got involved with a man 9 years older? It’s pretty common for abuse victims to jump from one abuser to another since that’s all they know and it’s familiar to them. It sounds as if these experiences stunted her maturity and she needs serious therapy.

  23. *I met my wife online when we were both young. I was studying college and she was in high school. We talked for years, and although she was always a cold woman, with few words and who refused me sex constantly (she did not allow me to touch her for about six months)*

    You were not young. Nine years difference is enough for her to go through HS twice over.

    *my initial concern was that he was making advances on her and she didn’t have the courage to reject him beyond saying no in a whisper.*

    Has it ever occurred to you that *you* might be the person she didn’t have the courage to reject all along?

  24. You were not both young. She was young. You were in your mid twenties at best. Yea, she has weird fetishes, but it’s probably linked with some sort of trauma or mental illness that led to her marrying you in the first place. You’re not innocent here. I hope she ditches both of you and instead gets therapy.

  25. >I met my wife online when we were both young. I was studying college and she was in high school.

    No, she was young.

    You’re 9 years older than she is… At best, she was 18 and you were 27 (edited) (and started college late, were moving slow)… At worst…*dude*…

  27. You’re a creepy ass predator and so is Diego and you both groomed her. She needs therapy and to get away from all of you.

  29. You should probably start proof reading your fake stories. I stopped reading the second you switched genders.

    Edit: fixed typo

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