Half a rant, half asking for support/advice
I am just feeling like dating isn’t worth it. When I do get into relationships, they don’t treat me with the same care and attention I treat them. Before that, in the talking phase, it is the expectation that they won’t care about my feelings. To the point where I suspected someone was a scammer because they were so nice to me, and I was right
With my previous ex’s, I’d do things like give them birthday gifts that they said were so perfect they showed them off to their friends and coworkers, but would forget my birthday. Or with one ex in particular, I planned a kayaking date for our anniversary date because she loved kayaking so much and we cluld.sing sea shanties together, and she completely forgot it was our anniversary, overslept, and we didn’t go. That ex was a vet student, for valentines day 2021, we had a zoom call, I surprised her with a virtual tour of the Smithsonian and Doordashed her favourite meal. On a third date with that ex, i made molten lava chocolate cakes because i know how to cook and bake. Yet, she did nothing for me like that. Just let me fuck her and talk about my hobbies sometimes
Like, I go through all the bullshit of dating, all the ghosting, rejection, not giving a shit about my feelings, and THAT is what I have to look forward to? Where I put all that thought and care into someone and I get so little back. I don’t usually care about my birthday, but the fact that I made hers special and she forgot mine still stings. Even if she had just remembered and said happy birthday, it would have been so much better.
I’ve had 14 sexual partners so far, 2 girlfriends and a FWB. The rest were hookups. And only 5 women out of that even thought to kiss my neck. Only 2 vaguely cared about my feelings, so I dated them
I don’t know why I keep doing this to myself. Trying to find a partner almost seems like self abuse at this point. Sure, go out there, respect their feelings and wishes, don’t get that back, and if you find someone who wants something from you, have fun dealing with their lack of consideration for your feelings.
I really want a wife at some point. I truly do. And I know I have so much to offer, in terms of thoughtfulness, career, as a person, etc. But finding someone who has SOMETHING to give besides sex seems impossible
9 comments
>I’ve had 14 sexual partners so far, 2 girlfriends and a FWB. The rest were hookups. And only 5 women out of that even thought to kiss my neck. Only 2 vaguely cared about my feelings, so I dated them
You have a statistically higher number of sexual partners than average. People are attracted to you, which means you can find someone.
If you were over 30 and never had someone into you, then I’d consider giving up on dating seriously and focusing on stuff that actually brings result.
You already got resulst, so it’s doable. Numbers game and all that.
first mistake is having a ‘talking phase’ thats literally the worst thing zoomers have ever cooked up.
omg you are so sweet! do not give up and maybe do a bit more vetting before going into a relationship with someone next time. its hard to find men like you! trust me you got this 🫶🏻
It sounds like you are a young, sweet, attractive guy – don’t give up! It sounds like you need someone who is as considerate as you are. Don’t be afraid to be picky when you’re deciding who you want to go on a first or second date with. Do they ask how you are, how your day was, and about yourself? Or is it just you doing those thing? Do they go out of their way to help others? Do they share how they are feeling with you, or do they seem closed off?
I’m not sure how you found your past partners, but some of these points might be a good place to start when you’re first meeting someone when deciding to proceed further.
Man, I have been here as well.
I (33M) have always bent over backwards like you for partners and have rarely if ever gotten the same reciprocity from the woman in return.
Just know that you are normal and the mature/good one in these relationships and they are trash. You’re doing all the right things and they’re taking advantage of you.
Dating sucks, especially at 27 and ESPECIALLY now. Everyone having too many options because of the apps has made people give up on any potential partner without getting to know them. Everyone is looking for “sparks” or “fireworks” on the first date and if they don’t get it they move on.
It’s hard to say “stay the course” and you’ll find someone, but you will.
It’s going to be difficult and there will be setbacks, and you definitely should take periodic breaks from it to avoid burnout (I would consider this now since you seem burned out). But don’t give up!
You are seemingly better than ~90% of the swinging d**ks out there, you just need to find the partner who’s appreciative of your efforts and reciprocates. Those women ARE out there, but they’re hard to find (mostly because they’re in relationships with ineffectual/crappy men).
You’re still very young and have a lot to offer, don’t give up! But maybe take a breather for a month or two until you’re in the right headspace.
Are you sure you are attracted to the right girls? Someone who is not necessarily the most beautiful or outgoing but who is kind and caring.
Oh man, that sounds awful. It almost sounds like you’re just too nice and giving for the women you are dating.
I would cut people off who don’t reciprocate your attentiveness, faster.
Im 34. If you dont continue it will get more difficult.
There’s a lot to learn from reading your post. I can recommend some YouTubers to watch, and I will say the more videos you watch, the more you will know what to do in XYZ situation 1—anthonyspade reactions 2. Manosphere highlights daily 3. Black Filipino TV 4. Legion of men 5. You are living a life of abundance. 6. Mj get the correct 7. Fbe capital 8. Modern life dating 9. ReplicantPhish 10. Tailor the fiend 11. The tribe cast 12. Tribe report 14. The celebrity junk 15. Oshay duke Jackson 15. Mediocre tutorials and reviews
The funniest YouTuber here is living a life of abundance, so have your popcorn ready. If you want to go deep, check out MJ Get Right and Anthonyspade reaction videos from two years ago, and everyone else brings a unique flavor to teaching you about the dating scene with women.
In 6 months or less, your brain will generate all the answers you are looking for once you have enough information from all the videos you watched of every possible dating situation you saw
If you drive, then try to play a few videos to listen to. You’ll learn a lot faster. Get a second phone like I did if you need to separate GPS from what you are playing.
Another option I am doing is changing your dating app locations to the Philippines and watching all the young, hot, good women who will match you. Right now, focus on getting a remote job so you can date over there. Stop wasting time and money here.
Lastly, read the comments under each video; you may learn a thing or two from other men’s mistakes. And each youtuber has thousands of videos so i suggest you go down the list and look at titles to see which one seems more important for you to learn about in the given moment. Plus you may find some secret gems/knowledge hidden inside some videos.