I’m honestly lonely. I’ve been single for about 3 years now with no efforts to meet someone new. I have one work friend who I don’t even really consider a legit friend to hang out with outside of work. My social anxiety always convices me that I will make any social situation awkward (as I often do.) I’m unable to talk with someone and also make sense when I talk because I always get nervous and just start rambling and getting words mixed up while the person I’m talking to looks at me with a confused look on their face. That’s when I just shut up and let them do the talking while I nod. I guess my confidence just isn’t there when it comes to making new friends. I really want to try new restaurants or go to the beach or just get out and do stuff but I lack the friends to do these things with.
All my past relationships have happened through friends who introduced me to the girl I dated. I’ve never gone out on my own to meet someone and I find it terrifying. I can’t imagine making conversation awkward or struggling start new conversation and them just being like “This guy is weird, bye.” It would destroy my self esteem.