21 F here, first year and semester.
I really try my best to put myself out there. I’m a very social person, I talk to everyone, laugh with them, make jokes, be open (sometimes way too open), I joined clubs who share my interests but it still seems like no one likes me enough to be solid friends with me. I can’t help but wonder if it’s just me being way too social that it’s putting them off. Or is it the way I dress? the way I look? the fact I don’t smoke and drink like everyone else here?
I don’t notice any signs of people being annoyed by me, but most people in my country are usually really kept to themselves and social life generally is… quite lacking compared to other countries.
I really don’t know whether I’m the problem or they’re the problem. Some people have asked for my number and social media and I give them, but we still don’t talk. I feel like I should just give up and just do my classes then head home.
TL;DR I put in effort socializing with people but I haven’t formed a solid group of friends or even one solid friend
3 comments
I recently read that people like to stick to people they already know, which I find looking at my own experiences to be quite true and a constant hinderance for me to find friends, though in contrast to you I’m decidedly less social, which also doesn’t help much. Usually the only times I made new friends was when I started middle school and university, when there were a bunch of people you more or less had to spend a lot of time together with and who weren’t all that well connected to each other at the beginning.
Maybe you’re being too nice?
We don’t know how you dress or look so it’s hard to say. But I mean it’s possible. If you think you dress weird, that is easy to change.
People in college are usually very independent, they like being around people but I wouldn’t say I’m very close with my college friends.
as its start of september i assume you have been there 2-3 weeks? if so id say it takes a bit more time. At least it did for me. Do you have some people who you would talk to more than other? What i mean is that i just started my second year and last year i at first didnt have like a solid friend as well, just 2-3 people who i would talk to more than to others. It just takes time i believe.