I (30M) recently visited my friend (30F) in her home country. It was at her insistence that I come visit her during my holidays. I visited her for a week mainly to keep her mind off some major family issues she was having at the time. Even though we were only able to hang out for half the week (due to family obligations) I had a lot of fun with her and her friends.
Before and during my stay, we would text at least 50+ times a day with both of our responses being within an hour each of other. However the exact day I left she started taking a really long time to reply to messages and even not checking messages for hours/days. This is really strange behaviour and I’m now worried about her mental health. This might also be explained by the major abandonement issues she has.
I’m in two minds about reaching out to ask her if anything is wrong. On one hand, it could be that she’s ignoring me for whatever reason (related or unrelated to myself) and on the other hand she could be stressed out and if I reach out I could be overwhelming her.
Any ideas on what I should do?
tl;dr – Friend with abandonement issues is acting really distant (like she’s purposefully ignoring me) after I visited her home country
3 comments
That sounds really tough. Maybe she just needs some time and space to process things? It could also be that it’s too soon for her after your visit to handle a lot of communication again so quickly. Have you tried asking her if there’s anything wrong?
Hi, may I ask which country she is from ?
The cultural background plays a role that should not be underestimated.
It could well be that she acts differently since she is now in her “home environment”. There may also be other influences….
Andy
She takes hours to text you and you think she has a mental health problem?
Dear lord… that much texting sounds so exhausting anyway (although to each their own).
But does she have a job? A family? A boyfriend? Go to university? Friends? Does she go to plays and movies where you can’t have your phone on?
Those are just a few examples of a thousand reasons she doesn’t have time to text you 50-100 times a day at the moment!
Don’t YOU have a job or something where you don’t have time to text so often because you have to work? I guess you’re on holiday now, but when you’re usually at work, don’t you have to work? 🤷♀️