What positive changes did you observe in yourself as you’ve aged?

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1. the big one that most young people struggle with is learning how to not give a fuck what other people think of you. most people aren’t thinking about you at all

2. Definitely weight.

3. I’m making more money, my facial hair has gotten much better, and women tend to like me better. I’d say I look better today as well, but while I think age has something to do with it, I think it’s more likely that I simply have more money to invest in myself.

4. Anger and civility can co-exist.

5. My attitude is more care-free and I don’t care what others think of me. I’ve also gotten better at time management and how to prioritize.

6. A lot less emotional than I used to be. I would get worked up over the dumbest stuff in my 20s, total mental breakdowns over nothing, and now even when I have a legitimate crisis I can let it roll off my back.

7. I grew a spine and learned it’s okay to defend myself.

8. I’ve become less focused on myself and more focused on my community. Which, in the long run, has turned out better for me.

9. Learning to not go after what other people want and discovering who you are and being able to uphold that. Especially since most everyone doesn’t give two fucks about you or what you think. Universally, a lot more wisdom. The pity of age, though is getting sense and lacking the ability to do anything about it. If you look at what youth is, it’s ultimately the opposite – the energy, health and hope to do everything and anything and the lack of sense to make good decisions. You grow into having good sense but lose your physical and mental health and financial ability over time to act on those good decisions. In a lot of ways, Eminem is right, you only get one shot in life. It happens when you’re young. Once you get past taking that shot and having it fail, you’re pretty much fucked in the long run.

10. My ear hair is now thick and luxuriant

11. When I was younger, I was angry about everything, everything was super important or super emotional, and I felt there was always an impending deadline on doing shit. Get a job, find a partner, have kids, make X amount of money by 30, etc.

    With age, I feel like most of that has just…faded. I can still get angry, but it’s more focused and positive. Things are still important, but the list is much smaller. There is always stuff that needs doing, but I can better prioritize it and I don’t get upset if I don’t happen to get around to it immediately.

    I feel like I have a better sense of self, what I’m capable of, and what matters most to me, which is nice.

12. Learned how to actually communicate with people without doing or saying something completely idiotic or nonsensible

13. I used to think that participating in things was not cool. Getting excited about things that other people also liked was not cool. This bizarre thinking led to me hanging out by myself a lot.

    Not that I mind being by myself. But now I think I missed out on connecting with many worthwhile people I could have learned a lot from, just because I thought I was too cool for sports or extracurricular activities at my school. Clubs in college. All that stuff.

    I feel very differently now. If an activity represents a means of keeping you in touch with people you enjoy, I say do it.

14. Confidence is far and away the biggest one. I’ve made plenty of mistakes over the years but I’ve continued to grow and I like myself more than when I was younger.

15. Well I’m 29 but I feel like I’ve changed a lot. I’m an entirely different person compared to my 18 year old self. Not just in terms of how I look, but how I behave and how I think.

    I think the main thing for me has been, that through life experience, I have grown to understand the world more – which in turn enables me to navigate it in a more present and fulfilling way,

    I’m looking forward to getting older and seeing what else comes… aside from losing my hair and back pain!

16. I’ve become way too lazy to bother with most things

    It’s a pleasant day if the temperature is good and I get some sunlight and fresh air

17. A lot of experiences have taught me not to judge people without even knowing anything about them. You see a poor homeless woman in the streets with a kid begging and you think why did she have a kid who she can not take care of? Well, she might have been assaulted, she might be going through a rough patch, she might have spent all her money on an illness etc. Appearances can be misleading.

18. Less drugs. Less alcohol. More Sleep. Steady schedules.

19. I am a lot more proactive than I was when I was younger.

    I think we all have battles with procrastination, but I personally got tired of putting myself behind so I try to get things taken care of right away because it never gets any easier if you delay, it only becomes more stressful as things start to pile up. So suck it up & get it done!

20. How to pick my battles better.

    There are people on the Internet that are wrong about things, and by and large it simply isn’t worth it to even get involved at all. I say this tongue in cheek, but really just scroll past that inflammatory nonsense.

    I like to improve empathy and help people see things from multiple perspectives, usually the people you disagree with aren’t mustache twirling villains.

    A lot of Internet “discussions” are people on a soapbox looking for unfettered support or someone to be their straw man to attack. It just isn’t worth it to engage at all much of the time. In person – absolutely, but on the Internet, just no.

    And if you strongly disagree and want to fight about it: meh. You can work it out on your own time.

21. I’m a lot more empathetic

22. I used to struggle to speak in front of even small groups of people. Even making phone calls for work when I was in my 20s was a struggle. Now I can talk to anybody, any amount of people. Goes with just not giving a fuck what people think anymore. That’s the best part of growing older.

23. Getting perspective on my mental health. Took me a long time to realize that with the proper help I can actually be the person I want to be

24. More patience, more willing to listen to other people.

25. The balance in decision making between the Big and Little heads is better with my brain now 75 percent in charge.

26. Definitely think I’m better socially than I used to be. Not that that’s a high bar in the slightest, but I’ve had friends of mine say “oh yeah, my friends were impressed by how funny you were” after hanging out. When I was a kid, it’d be infinitely more likely to be annoying.

    Feel like I’m more authentic. I’ve got my hair at a length I like (it’s long), a beard that I like, sunglasses I like, and a leather jacket I like. I either wasn’t allowed to have some of those or I was too concerned about what people thought when I did. Now, I’m just me. Take it or leave it.

27. I’m less naive and more attentive to my surroundings. Not based on experience thankfully.

28. I got taller, I started learning another language, and I can cook basic foods (I have 0 culinary skills). The only downside was that because I aged, my eyes got worse so I had to get new glasses 😥

29. im just 30 but my body started hurting more than when I was younger, so the positive its I started working out again regularly just to reduce the aches

30. More cynical, and idgaf attitude.

31. More self-respecting, less tolerance with disrespect or people pushing my limits.
    I might ne turning into an asshole.

32. I do less impulsive shit, i have more patience and I became a better cook. 🙂

33. I’ve stopped being such a people pleaser. I don’t care if someone doesn’t like me, I’m just focused on doing what I need to do with my life.

34. The ability to discern bullshit from people.

35. More self-acceptance and self-compassion. It’s probably more related to my attachment healing work, but I think part of what enabled me to be where I am is getting older.

36. I was anxious and uptight when I was younger, and slowing down and getting more perspective calmed me. I am much more aware of who I am, and have much better control of how I am perceived by others.

37. Way more empathy for others while caring less about what strangers think.

38. I’m less volatile when facing problems, became a lot more pragmatic and I take my job less seriously, trying to live a stress free life

39. I started lifting weights when I was young, found myself in the gym at 14, and just never stopped doing it. But when I was younger, I was always doing it for all the wrong reasons. Trying to be the biggest guy, the strongest guy, ego lifting, not doing the right things to avoid injury.
    And now, I still work out all the time. But now it’s for emotional stability, it’s to take care of my body, to set a good example for other people.