(TRIGGER WARNING, BRIEF MENTION OF ATTEMPTED KIDNAPPING AND SUICIDE)
Sorry this is one of my first posts so I apologize in advance, (CONTEXT) i have had a pretty normal life, all though introverted I’ve had a lot of friends and have been very popular, but my life behind the scenes has been very rough giving me a lot of trauma from multiple people, at some point last year I think it hit its peak when I tried to unalive for the last time, I didn’t but that day I was almost kidnapped/lured to a kidnappers house and thus stopping from carrying out my plan, scared I went home and started to cut off the bad people in my life as much as I could including people close to me, since then I’ve finished high school and have stayed pretty much inside the whole year or two, not interacting much with people except my SO who I talk to everyday (we have been together 4 years) other than the occasional day out either a distant friend who I would hardly call a friend (would only meet up with those types of people 1 a few months) but I haven’t had slot of fun hanging out with others or hardly socializing at all, it feels like a chore this recent year and I’d rather not talk to anyone other than my SO most times, but I don’t feel lonely and I’m very content with that lifestyle but I know it isn’t normal to not care about ANYONE other than my SO, and probably isn’t healthy for the both of us, the truth is Like the idea of having friends again like back in high school but every time I try I just can’t bond with them at all, even if we have a nice day I’d rather do my own thing. (Thank you for listening to my rant, sorry for the weird format? I’ve hardly used Reddit and will listen to tips/advice)
1 comment
Hi OP!
I’d like to address the fact that you are only speaking to your partner.
I sympathize with you as the majority of my time goes to my long distance partner, however for my case, I am still going through college which means there are more opportunities for myself to create new friends and connections.
Creating friends after college is where it might go sideways for me. We are currently on a vacation break and it’s really hard to go online and try to chat with my friends, so the applying effort on trying to reconnect is much harder, but worth it.
Maybe you can try reconnecting with some of your high school friends? Although it really does feel like a slog and especially because of the kidnapping part, it might also feel scary and uncomfortable to do, and I wouldn’t blame you for that.
Recognizing the fact that you want to try and create connections is already the first step, so if you are, don’t be too harsh to yourself if the effort that you’re making is not enough; relationships do take a lot of time to build and maintain.
Lastly, if you haven’t done it yet, talking to your partner about your concerns could help, and they might have insights on what to do or experiences of their own or just be there to support you and I hope you do the same to them as well.