I 20 (m) my gf 19(f) have been together for 2 years and in the be beginning of our relationship we used to do it a lot and over time we do it less and less because of her sex drive has lower but mine is still high to the point I always want to have sex with her when im with her no matter, what we are doing in the moment she a vary wonderful woman and I can only see a future with her and I love her but now my sex drive is making her uncomfortable with being around me she thinks I only want her for sex and I don’t we been through a lot together and experienced so many things i fell in love with her for everything she is and i want to find a way to control myself so i won’t push her away.

30 comments

  2. Why dont you just masturbate? Some people will tell you your sexually incompatible but as long as you are fine with tuning it down a bit an she ist still fine with having sex from time to time then everything shoulsd work out right?

  3. Yeah I feel you. I literally want it 3 times a day and she’s fine with 2 times a week. Sometimes I can’t even look at her doing certain things because I want to fuck her on the spot. Try masturbation to control it. See if she’ll give you HJs or BJs as an alternative maybe. But yeah it sucks when your sex drive is so much higher than your partners.

  4. Plan 3 fun days of activities for her where you won’t be after her for sex. Since she wants to do stuff without feeling pressure to have sex, make that happen. Think of it like a video game where you have these quests to do to get the level up. My wife is fine with once a week right now and I’d rather it be 4-5x.

  5. Same boat OP except I am a woman with a high sex drive. You won’t change – you need someone who is accepting and understanding. I often have to masturbate before I see my boyfriend so it’s not all I can think about when I’m around him.

  7. The only answer is to not push sex at her. Don’t ask. Just wait. It’s fucking painful but it can be done.

    She will let you know when she is ready.

    But a real talk about recent events will help go over what is okay and not okay behavior.

    You will always want her for sex. But that doesn’t mean it is a bad thing.

    You either figure this out or cause issues

    I always think this will be an issue because the imbalance is always there.

    I have been married for a decade. Feel the same way about it

  9. it can be killer on a relationship. I have a very high sex drive as well and my ex would only wanna have sex once a month and it ultimately lead to other problems and us breaking up

  10. This is a brutal and common thing for HL people. During the honeymoon phase, almost everyone is HL. But we stay that way. And when we’re caught up in the emotions of the honeymoon phase (“this person is PERFECT for me!”), we believe it’s going to be mutual forever.

    If you’ve got a great partner and if you ARE a great partner, you can work at it and find compromises to this and other issues that arise. If you see this relationship as a really long-term thing, I’m a huge advocate of doing couples therapy BEFORE things become full-on emergencies. If not, better to end it now than wait.

  12. I’m much older (40’s) and i also have high sex drive. i know how difficult is to be around your women which is hot in everything she does. It doesn’t matter what she wears.

    It just means you love her very much. It’s healthy wanting intimacy, sex, do everything with her. Sometimes it goes to far and i’ve been there. My whole life i struggled with emotional regulation with women. I didn’t want to come across as a pervert or needy. For us guys sex is a form of a great connection with your partner. Maybe you need to spice things up. Research about what turns her on. Be mindful of her sexual needs, in this way she’d want more of it. Tease her. 😉 Have fun.

    If she is mostly calling the shots or if she is more dominant, maybe this is the reason. Maybe being more dominant turns her on then. Sometimes we need to change ourselves a bit to be successful with women. Which is worth trying. 🌞

    I found out that massage is a great way to turn her on. And she loves it. This is my compromise with my wife. So i get sex almost every day. Sometimes even 2 times in one day. 😁 Some days we just relax, watch TV and have sex the whole afternoon. Like 5 – 6 times.

    Btw, Flirting is a good way to turn her on. Building tension all day. Try it, you’ll be amazed.

    Never push for sex. I know how frustrating it is sometimes and I’ve been there. It doesn’t work.

    Instead do your own thing. Focus on your life, hobbies, make her miss you. It also works. 😉

    Hope it helps 😉

    Edit: check some relationship coaches on YouTube. You just need a better dynamic. 😉
    Try to immagine her being attracted to you so much she wants sex 3 times a day. So you can do exactly that. It is just about balance bro. Maybe she is taking you for granted. You can turn the table.

    Edit: some guys turn to porn, pls don’t do that. Porn will only decrease your sex drive. I know it’s counterintuitive but it’s true.

    Edit: Seduction works 100%. Work on seduction. 👍

  15. Don’t waste your life like this. When you have a high libido, it’s important to find a parter with one too. You will just be miserable for decades if you stay.

  17. Sexual compatibility is important, friend. You can’t change who you are and she can’t change who she is. If you’re not sexually compatible then this might not be the relationship for you.

  18. No hate or judgment

    Outside of sex. What is your physical touch like? There needs to be an overwhelming amount of non-sexual touch to keep her from feeling used. Hugs, light kisses, playful banter, all without going down the road to sex. If the only way you like to express you physical love is through sex then it’s no wonder why she feels like a sex object

  19. It’s normal for a female to not have as high of a sex drive as males. I encourage you to learn about the female hormone cycle. Females have an on average 30 day cycle while men have a 24 hour cycle. Learning more about the differences between male/females may give you a better understanding of your partner and their needs.

  20. I’d think back over what you two have been through together. Think of some examples, and if she is seriously thinking it’s just for sex remind her of those. One could even consider it a compliment that they excite you so much.

    For controlling yourself, just distract yourself. Get horny; start doing something else, focus on other things or just be active elsewhere. Maybe a release now and then helps but try to avoid that as your go too solution.

  21. There’s a point in time during a relationship where you have to deprioritize the importance of sex. Typically once the honeymoon period is over, the female will start feeling worn out and unethusiastic. It is unethical to force her to continue being sexual, she probably needs a break at this point.

    Ideally you need seperate bedroom so you can masterbate in peace without disturbing her and you can be more quasi independent of each other.

  22. OP I feel ya except I’m female. I have a high sex drive and my man doesn’t. However, we worked through all our issues by expressing our feelings in the matter we kept open lines of communication and we were both willing to fix this issue so that neither one of us would feel uncomfortable or rejected, we realized we had to agree on being completely intimate with one another. At first my bf gave the same reaction feeling uncomfortable being upset when I brought it up. I had to learn, when and where to have the right conversation but mostly the timing had to be on point. We’re doing better since having that heart to heart and agreeing on solutions that beat fit us.
    If she’s not willing to at least create a safe and healthy space for open lines of communication between you guys. If she’s persistent on continuing to feel uncomfortable and make you feel some type of negative way about yourself when your vulnerable than maybe you should reconsider being with your gf and it might be time to move on… anyways there’s that

  25. Don’t worry about it too much. You two will likely end one day anyway and you will be with other people. You’re not meant to have it all figured out by age 20. Just fuck, or don’t fuck, as often as BOTH of you like. If you find that you’re not compatible……move on to other people.

  26. Read **Come as You Are**,**Mating in Captivity**, and **She Comes First**. The first will help you understand women’s arousal better. The second will help you see the complexity of arousal in a long-term relationship, Asha the third will help you make sure that sex is rewarding enough for her that she gets excited about it

  27. Someday OP, your sex drive will wane and your woman, whoever she may be, is likely to have a sex, drive much higher than yours. You’ll be lucky if you can put out once a day because you won’t be able to reload. She, on the other hand will be ready to go anytime. Such is the irony of life. So maybe try and work with your partner and be understanding because one day you may find the shoe on the other foot and how would you feel about being rejected because you couldn’t keep up. Just a just thought to consider.

  28. Maybe she doesn’t want to have sex as much because it’s got a bit boring for her or she is not getting what she needs from it. Maybe you just need to change things up a bit. Talk and communication is 💯 what is needed here. Maybe she feels she is being used because you aren’t doing enough for her romantically. Try bringing her flowers, making her breakfast in bed, foot rubs, shoulder rubs, cuddles, compliment her. Make her feel really ‘seen’ really valued. Hope this helps

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