About 6 months ago, my coworker made a very hurtful comment about me literally right behind my back to two of my other coworkers. He was talking about some guy he used to work with who apparently was into really unethical stuff and how the guy was clearly off and must have had some kind of learning disability, and then he said , “kind of like (my name) over there haha”. I no longer work with him since I work at a new job now, but I can’t seem to get rid of this memory popping in my head on a daily basis. I feel like it’s so hard for me to get over because he targeted my strongest insecurity which is my intelligence.. I am on the quiet side as I’ve always suffered from social anxiety and do think a little different I feel like, but I know I’m not an idiot because I made good grades in school, graduated with a bachelor’s degree in finance from a good university, etc.. But because I’m quiet, kinda awkward at times, and process things differently (maybe I am somewhere on the spectrum), some people assume I’m dumb. So yea I am always internally insecure about it and he just took full advantage.
I don’t fully understand why this is so hard for me to get out of my head. I figure a lot of this inability to move on is due to my social anxiety, but I also feel like anyone in my situation would have been hurt by it. How do I move on at this point though?
13 comments
Im sorry that happened to you OP, I don’t really have much advice unfortunately but im commenting because I could see myself ending up in the same situation.
It’s not about social anxiety, it’s about needing validation from other people. You know you’re intelligent, you have proof. But it matters to you too much whether others acknowledge it. Drop that. Seeking validation is a huge source of insecurities. Stick with what you know is true, don’t make that conditioned upon whether others can perceive it correctly or not.
I can’t recall what song I heard it from, but there was a line that I always think about when I start letting other people’s words get to me. Maybe it can help?
“Those who mind, don’t matter. Those who matter, don’t mind.”
Stay positive homie. Some people just suck.
I strongly recommend you take a look at Chatter by Ethan Kross
Consider that unnecessary negative comments like that are Only made to push someone Down which makes them feel like they are now”higher”. It’s a complete fraud on both sides; you are no Lower than b4 n they are in no way higher, actually the fact they behaved so badly means just the Exact Opposite.
What a douche. His behaviour is in no way a reflection of you
You know what you’ve achieved and what you’re capable of
FkThatGuy! You Live ur life to fullest! There will be at times some dipshit will say something about you, ignore and walk like a fucking lion!
ok not even halfway through reading, anyone can tell you’re not a dumb guy 🙄
and in my experience,you just have to be so tired of it. Be so tired of other people’s shit that you just really dont give a SHIT because you’re too busy doing you and working hard at YOUR own life, tryna make YOURSELF happy.
fuck that guy, he dont know you
Gotta forgive him
That kind of thing can stick with you. Not much you can do other than just carry on.
I am sorry this happened to you. This sucks. I am socially awkward too i get the pain from these comments.
I believe that people’s comments say more about themselves and their believes rather than anyone else. And if they throw mean, hurtful or bullying comments, I think it’s usually a projection of their own insecurities.
Don’t know whether it’s true or not, but this thought makes me a harmless, positive, free bird who cuts off people like that within a second.
Hugs