so this guy wanted to meet when i move to uni , he just talked on this app which lets you find your flatmates and stuff but im actually here now and moved in and he wants to meet next week. thing is he thinks im a virgin and when he first texted me i was …. and no doubt he wants to fuck but also i do too but he still thinks im a virgin and i wanna tell him i lost it since then but what if that puts him off??
25 comments
You either tell him and risk this putting him off or you lie and accept the consequences.
He’s not someone you want to hook up with if that puts him off. Finding out you’re not compatible before you get with someone you’ll regret later isn’t a bad thing.
you don’t. it’s none of his business. Even if you plan to sleep with him. If you haven’t been together then your sex life is your own business. If his ego has a problem with it, then…
You don’t need to disclose that to him… if he asks about partners and whatnot for safety purposes, sure tell him, but you don’t need to proactively let him know you’re not a virgin anymore. None of his beeswax.
Is this a culture or personal pledge thing for him or is he just having an insecurity. You don’t have to tell him but if it’s the first it’s a bit unfair when he’s set out his life on the basis of an innocent wedding. If you feel it’s just an insecurity it’s up to you whether you stay mute or lie or the tell thectruth but you might need to stand by your statement for the rest ofvyour life.
Just tell him over messaging and if it’s a problem for him then you can go your separate ways before even meeting, and better to know before you meet rather than investing more time in him. Most likely it won’t be an issue unless he’s ultra conservative or an incel.
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Although I do sort of understand being hesitant to have sex with someone who said she was a virgin and wasn’t, unless you’re pregnant or caught something I don’t think you necessarily need to disclose this unless he stresses it or asks about it. It kind of sounds like in this case, you don’t really need to voluntarily disclose it. Just use protection and if you do tell him (or he finds out somehow) and he gets weird about it, then don’t sleep with him. It’s not like you had some prior agreement to lose your virginity to him, you two weren’t dating or even romantically involved and (I’m kind of just assuming this part) it sounds like you disclosed your virginity kind of a while ago. Things happened since then.
For me, I feel like I cared a lot more about this sort of thing when I myself WAS a virgin. Now I couldn’t care less as long as she’s disease free and we have decent chemistry.
Just tell him 🤷🏻♂️ his reaction is on him and will tell you pretty quickly.
“So, I’ve lost my virginity since we last talked.”
You really don’t owe him an explanation, though. It’s your business.
If it puts him off, he’s an asshole and your time is better spent elsewhere.
Idk why being a “virgin” is anyone’s business in 2023 but I guess…
Just odd
If this turns a guy off then he’s a fucking creep.
It is none of his business. You don’t have to say anything
A) this shouldn’t be a qualifier for him, B) if it does turn him off, IF you even decide to tell him, fuck that guy, figuratively, not literally.
Does it really matter honestly? If you guys are going to be together, then it should only really matter about being with you. Not your status. Try not to stress out over things.
If you are not ready to have that conversation for the sake of safety. You are not ready to have sex with him.
I see no reason this should be kept a secret. If he reacts negatively, he isn’t for you. Women are the first to say that if a man leaves out information that may make a woman change her mind about having sex with him, it’s a form of rape. I think this should be treated the same. Worst thing you can lose by telling him is a guy that isn’t for you.
If y’all are gonna be fwb he doesn’t need to know. Y’all weren’t dating right? You didn’t cheat right?
“hey, I fucked a guy last week, and I’d like to fuck you this week.”
No filter. If it scares him off, good. You don’t need some weak ass fool in your bed.
Have you considered he might be pursuing you because you are a virgin? Tell him gets the truth out and you will find out if he is truling interested in you or interested because you are a virgin.
Lol. If you think this is gonna be a short term thing id just lie to fulfill the fantasy
If u think you might like him a lot, then just tell him the truth. If he mainly wants to fuck, then most likely he will still want to fuck
Tell him after u get yours
Girl that’s creepy asf of him. There are so many people at uni; you’ll find hundreds of guys better than him.