My husband has endless hobbies, I honestly can’t keep up with what he’s working on sometimes. I would call him a “tinkerer”. He builds guitar pedals, guitar amps, wood works occasionally (not as much as he used to), mines Chia coin aka cryptocurrency, does code wars regularly, gardens, listens to audio books, plays video games, etc…just to name a few.
I don’t consider myself a boring person. I am outgoing and have a fun personality. I like music and pop culture, reading when I have time, and kickboxing/exercice. I have a solid friend group and love my family.
My husband often updates me on what he’s working on. I truly don’t understand it most of the time. It’s all very abstract to me, the nuance and mechanics to building a guitar amp, or cryptocurrency and how it works. It’s all very abstract to me. Maybe I’m not listening well enough.
Anyways, lately I feel like I’m uninteresting. I don’t have “a thing” that I do or am known for. I guess kickboxing would be it? I also feel like he wants me to have hobbies. Before I had our son in May of 2021 I was teaching full time. Since then I have been a SAHM, I feel like I don’t have an excuse to not have something little going on but I’m just so tired. I tried crocheting once when he was napping but I got so frustrated and gave up. What do you think? Should I make more of an effort?
5 comments
Why don’t you start a garden and grow a bunch of vegetables. That’s a skill and a hobby.
There’s no doubt that as a SAHM, your days are full caring for the children and home. There are some activities/responsibilities that suck all the energy out of you and others that recharge you. Ideally, there should be a healthy balance so you’re not constantly running around on an empty tank – physically, emotionally or socially.
Sounds like your husband has a number of outlets to help recharge him when he’s not working.
Does he help create time/space for you to focus on yourself too?
You could try playing video games. I’m one of those people that believes there is a game out there for everyone even someone who is staunchly anti video games.
You said he wants you to have hobbies but do you really want one? My husband has tons of hobbies/activities but he is a great father. I was a sahm for 6 years and really did nothing. He would mention it to me all the time, that I should get a hobby. I think he felt guilty about the things he was doing but I never really cared.
I never had a drive to do anything because I was really tired. I was content doing nothing. My husband would be with the kids so I had time to myself some evenings but basically I didn’t do much but rest. I did go to gym from time to time. I loved spin classes. Def made me feel better not more tired . You said you have a solid friend group, do you go out with them? I used to get together for mom night outs once a week with a local mom group. It’s all I really needed. I guess what I am saying is you don’t need a hobby to be happy as long as you guys are happy together.
If you like reading maybe find a book club?
is it a requirement for one to have one or multiple hobbies/interests, or to have a comparison to someone else as a bellwether of interest and success, to not be “boring”?
I am retired due to disability, and my time is taken up with physical therapy and occasional medical appointments, reading, playing games like Chess and Sudoku at master level, Risk, anything that provides a challenge to keep my mental acuity sharp, although I guess some here would wonder about that, lol.
Am I bored? No. not really. After the stress of my former career I am actually quite happy. I am now about to put in the time I didn’t have before to finally learn how to play the bass.
Am I an interesting person? Apparently my wife thinks so. Does it really matter what anyone else thinks if she and I are happy together and individually? Not really.
Do what makes you happy. Sometimes doing nothing at all fits that quite nicely.