I (24/f) locked eyes with him at the gym about 3 months ago. Long story short we both have the hots for each other and can’t stop looking at each other, but nobody is making moves so i’m aware i’ll have to pull the trigger here.
In the beginning he did the usual how many sets left/do i need a spot/can i work in – this was when i wasn’t interested but that’s how I eventually noticed him. In the last month i clocked on and think he’s hot and reciprocated the vibes/eye contact but he’s since gone shy but I can see he’s still interested. I asked him for a spot last week and it was cute but haven’t spoken since.
BASICALLY what I need advice on: it’s getting awkward now & I think it’s past the point where I can say hi how’s it going and it would be normal as if we aren’t constantly looking at each other.
Is there an opening line I could say? Should I acknowledge the awkwardness or it’s that a faux par? I’m fine with approaching him, i’m just not sure what to say. My brain shuts down like a windows computer when i’m nearby.
10 comments
Since it seems pretty clear you are both into each other, you can try being direct like “Hey, wanna [grab a coffee/go out to eat] sometime?” Or “Can I have your number so we can talk outside the gym?”.
Just say “hey feel my abs”
29m. I train every day and I am fit. Usually see the same females at the gym or new ones. Make eye contact etc but I have never bothered, hit on, or asked for a females number in the past 10 years that I’ve been in the gym. Mostly out of respect, I know some females don’t want to be bothered in the gym.
Change it up, you approach him. If someone did this to me, I’d get the clue.
It’s not past the point of saying hi. Just say hi. You want to approach him so just start with that.
Can you spot me again? This time at a coffee shop.
Can just give him a paper with your name and number and say “if you’d like this, please use it.” That’s what I’ve done in high stakes awkward situations like asking out a barista.
If you wanna be more direct you can just invite him to coffee.
Just ask him for his number. Why is everyone so scared of just being direct once mutual interest is pretty blatant, you literally got nothing to lose
It’s been highly stigmatized for guys to approach women in gyms so you may have to make the first move.
Ok, so I (24M) literally just got back from the gym, so this is fresh on my mind.
I’ve noticed girls flirting with me at the gym with the eye contact (purposely choosing to do reps in an open gym right in front or behind me so that they can check me out and stare/make eye contact in the mirror during my sets or get in my personal space by purposely choosing to do some kind of row or squat dead in front of where I have been doing sets for 15+ minutes). But I literally don’t know how to respond to it because oftentimes i wonder if it’s all just in my head and I’m somehow reading into it too much lol.
POINT BEING, I feel like gym culture has shifted a lot for guys where unless it’s painfully obvious that a girl likes me (like if she came up to me and started making small talk and was obviously flirting directly with me) that I am scared to be shut down or misread a situation and have them think I’m creepy for hitting on them in the gym. This guy might be shy, or he might be like me where he just is overthinking shit in his head and is afraid of the result if he’s wrong (although this to me seems very direct). So the only way to make it 100% clear to him that you’re into him is by just going up to him, and saying “Hey, so I’ve meant to do this earlier but would you be interested in going to get coffee/lunch sometime?” (Maybe suggest after the gym on a day when you are both going and that could make it really easy to for you to get his phone number, so you can “pick a day”)
Him: will you spot me?
Her: I’d spot you a mile off!