I (m24) have been using dating apps like boo, bumble, and a couple others but I only end up getting ghosted or ignored by everyone I match with (which is like 2 people a month at best). I guess I’m too boring or something.
I’m not sure how to flirt, I wasn’t even sure why my past relationships were attracted to me so I thought treating them the best I could would work. However this just ended up getting me the title “too nice” and they ended up leaving me anyways. I tried compliments but was told they were too corny or boring.
I tried doing my best taking them out but was told that I spend too much. I’m not even sure what to do anymore. And being myself has done nothing but bring depressing conversations at the end of every relationship. My friend said to just let it happen naturally, but it’s very lonely and I would honestly just like to have someone who would care for me and not get tired of me after a month.
I’m not even big on looks or anything as long as they’re a good person. Please any kind of advice I can get will help I will even push through anxiety and embarrassment if I have to. I’ll answer anything I have to if I can get any advice that’ll help.

5 comments

  1. This I am about to tell you might come off as cringy but it actually works for me a number of times, though I must admit very few times I was cursed out for it by others.

    So I’m just sitting and staring in my phone bored as hell and decided to send this very weird and abnormal text message to the girl of interest:

    “ Hey, Rose. Can you please stop making me horny? Thank you .”

    Now, I’m actually not a naughty type of guy. I am not the type to speak pervertedly sexual. And I’m definitely not a f*boy. Instead, I’m a born teaser, someone who likes to just have fun in a weird way.

    But very oddly enough, this kind of awkward behavior often gets me the girls.

    So she would respond: “ Well, stop thinking about it hahaha.”

    Then as you know, we kick it off from there.

    Very few times I might get a negative reaction from women and get called all the nasty names there are. Heck, I even got blocked for it once.

    Before flirting to this extreme, ensure that you know the girl good enough and judge her reaction carefully. If she likes the way you flirt, awesome! But if she doesn’t, then figure out something else.

  3. flirting is hard, dating apps are hard. i don’t know much about you or what you do, but i did notice you said that you aren’t even picky, you just want a nice person… you’re a nice person too. you’re allowed to be picky. look for people with common interests, put some personal info in your bio about what you enjoy doing. get creative with date ideas, sometimes it’s not about treating them or taking them on a nice date. take them bowling or to an escape room, go to a farmers market and do a picnic. go to a trivia or bingo night at your local brewery. just some ideas. here’s some things that worked for my friends when it came to flirting;

    1. you are enough, if you’re feeling inadequate for being yourself then that person is not for you.

    2. comment on common interests or something in their photos- dogs, travel photos, sports, etc.

    3. it’s okay to be a little cheesy with the pick up lines, a lot of girls find it funny or endearing.

    4. talk to them like a friend. i gather you’re looking for something a little more substantial rn, act like you’re sitting next to them in a lecture hall or you’re at the water cooler or whatever, you’re basically dating to find a lifelong friend anyways.

    5. flirting is touchy for everyone, every girl responds to flirting differently, some are gonna cringe and others will swoon and some will just give you blank stares. dating takes time.

    now that that is out of the way, google some pick up lines as well, look on tiktok or insta or wherever. people post stuff about flirting all the time. if you’re sick of the apps i advise joining a rec sport or going to the gym or wherever else people meet friends nowadays. make some new friends- don’t even have to be girls. cuz those friends might have girlfriends who have other single girl friends.

    blessings and peace friend- good luck

  4. I’m gonna tell you like this: Work on yourself. Yeah it sounds cliche but hear me out…

    Two years ago I was in your exact same position. Lonely and chasing skirts on these dating apps. It’s no fun at all. However, on my birthday I made the commitment to hit the gym consistently.

    But it wasn’t just a commitment to the gym, it was a commitment to myself. But it all helps in getting women. Like this:

    I started taking courses on Coursera and reading more books to enhance my intellectual capabilities.
    – This makes you more of an interesting conversationalist because you can speak on a variety of subjects.

    I started engaging in local activities, especially nonprofit organizations, to stay social and engage with people.
    – This helps with your natural charisma. You’re just enjoying yourself so it’s easier to talk to people

    Hitting the gym toned my body, which made me feel happier and healthier.
    – Woman love a good looking body. You don’t have to be a super model movie star, just don’t be looking sloppy

    I started meditating and ordering my life, which greatly benefits my mental health. Good vibes only over here.
    – This enhances your respect for yourself. Very important because if you don’t respect yourself, she won’t respect you either. Plus you come off as more cool & confident because you have a clearer head

    But as you can see, me doing those things for myself indirectly made me far more attractive to women. I don’t even need a dating app anymore because a simple trip to the grocery store and I can walk out with 2 or 3 numbers. It’s nothing now they throw so much nookie at me I swear if i could let you borrow some I would 😂

    But focus on you. Be the best you that you can be and you’ll see it’s not as hard as you think. Online dating sucks. Delete those apps. Follow my tips and you’ll slip & fall into a relationship if you’re not careful.

    I see myself in you so I KNOW you can make the change, IF you really want it.

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