i feel like most of my conversations follow a script and it bores people. i say hi, ask “how are you”, make a few bland remarks, and the conversation ends. how do i have actually engaging and enjoyable conversations? when i’m having longer conversations, i ask lots of questions and never really contribute anything of my own because i don’t have anything to say. i’m afraid that talking to me feels like a chore or an interrogation for other people. i definitely don’t have fun talking to most people, so i wouldn’t be surprised if they felt the same way about me.
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This is my current issue. I used to be better at it but I’ve gotten bad with it recently
Having fun is like going to the gym, you don’t get strong on the first day. Find the things you are most fun with and hone in on them. After you have a good comfort zone, try other things that might be fun with people and try to transfer the feeling to those.
Why do people socially drink? Because it is an unspoken invitation to have some fun. You ask “would you like to have a drink with me?” and they agree to give socializing with you a try for about 30 minutes. If you two like each other they will want to have the second one, now you are sure they are having fun with you.
If you are having difficulty just having conversation, do some activity with people and that will fill in the empty space. Try a pub arcade place or axe throwing or golfing or playing pool or hiking or… whatever you like.
Well… I personally have developed a major annoyance with people I don’t know very well when they ask like how are you? Or how have you been? (Except my partner or immediate family probably)
I don’t like it. I feel like it’s pointless to even respond if I am not going to tell the truth or play pretend. Especially if I’m not doing good or I haven’t been doing good. More and more often I’ve been finding average people boring. I wish they would tell me about what’s exciting in their life or if they have any plans for the future. Something anything other than “Hi, how are you?” With their response of “I’m good” or “I’m fine”. Or the opposite from me. When I tell them how I’m actually doing it’s called over sharing or if I go on about something I am thinking about or something I’m excited about. I’m either bragging about myself or it’s pretty clear they don’t care or sometimes it’s like they get a weird smile on their face like I’m some sort of entertaining character. But where is the line of oversharing? How am I supposed to know at what point I’m asking to many questions? or they don’t actually want to listen to how I’m doing or how I’m feeling?
I wrote an article on exactly this topic if you want to check it out:
###[How To Banish Boring Conversations](https://www.reddit.com/r/CPRForYourSocialLife/comments/11eb4g8/how_to_banish_boring_conversations/)