Being more Assertive / controlling when Initiating

My (39m) wife (39f) and I have been struggling a bit in our sex lives due to mismatched libido.

I want sex a few times a week (or ideally daily), but she wants it 1 to 2 times a month.

We settle on somewhere in between.

The libido mismatch leads to me getting rejected frequently, her feeling bad about it, me being sexually frustruted, her feeling pressured.

We love each other to death but our sex lives has been a bit of a strain lately on our relationship.

I think we figured out that her lack of wanting sex is because of the foreplay / lead up.

When we start the sex (after foreplay) it’s always amazing for both, but the lead up not so much.

I’ve been trying to up my game in bed and have read that foreplay is important to lots of women in long term relationships (we’ve been together 20 years).

So I’ll always give passionate kisses, massages, stroking, kisser on her neck, arm etc.

But stupid me, I didn’t read the signs well and this is not what she wants.

She doesn’t like this type of foreplay, then feels bad that she should like it, then we both have a less than ideal experience.

“I’ve realised I don’t want to be romanced, I just want to be fucked” she said to me.

So I told her I’ll take command from now and and treat her like my peice of meat.

“fine by me” was her reply.

Then directly after this conversation last night we had amazing sex. I didn’t try kissing her or touching her. I laid her down, told her to take her skirt off, grabbed her hand and put it on my dick, fingered her a bit, then fucked her. I told her which position to get into and told her when she was allowed to orgasim.

She texted me today saying how much fun it was for her so this worked for both of us.

Anyway what next? I’ve always been sensitive in bed, checking in on my wife that she likes it, so now I’m in a totally different ball game, lol. I don’t know where to start with this ‘dom sub’ style play. Anyone have any good tips for initiating in a controlling / assertive way?

I’m thinking I literally just walk up to her and say “It’s time to fuck, put your hand down my pants”. Any other tips?