Basically I’m looking for a way that doesn’t feel too forced/unnatural. I just don’t get how to present it.
My husband (30) and I (26) have lived together for about a year now, and a month ago I saw this cute and sexy lingerie set and I bought it, but it’s been sitting in my closet just waiting for its time. I just can’t find a way to wear it that doesn’t feel phony or forced.
A couple of factors:
1. I work from home, and he goes out for work, but my workday finishes half an hour to an hour after he comes back, so meeting him at the door wearing it isn’t plausible
2. This set, while sexy and cute, isn’t very comfortable for wearing for an extended period of time, so going out in it and teasing him in public/getting to it right as we come back home – isn’t exactly an option
3. I guess I could just, like, wait for him to go to shower and put it on before he comes back, and surprise him, but… Idk, it feels fake & forced?
4. Just wearing it under my clothes while at home also seems weird and contradictory since at home I always wear old baggy t-shirts and baggy shorts, so having a spicy underwear under that would be weird I think??
Same question applies to wearing stockings/fishnets+short skirt, which he asked me to do a couple of times, and which i actually got, but see above.
How do ya’ll go about it?
11 comments
My wife just goes and puts it on and it’s great. I guess if you have a home office you could bring it in with you and change into it before coming out after he’s home. But I think you’re making this way too complicated.
I adore lingerie. Practically every partner I’ve ever had has either had their own, or been into what I buy for them.
One of my favorite aspects of lingerie is when it is unexpected. Like if I am dating someone and she wears lingerie on a date that is one of the most obvious signs that we’re going to be fucking around later.
IMO wearing it under your baggy clothes sounds perfect to me. It’s totally unexpected. Do the two of you make out? That’s when I love lingerie the most. Making out with my partner and getting handsy. Then discovering that she is wearing something sexy.
I agree with you that it should not feel forced. It should feel natural for you.
If everything goes well and he enjoys it, find some stuff that is comfortable. Things that you actually can wear out for a couple of hours on a date or whatever.
One of my favorite games to play sometimes is making my partner earn the privilege of taking the lingerie off. Most of the time we just end up fucking with it on.
My suggestion would be to find racier loungewear that you would feel comfortable hanging out at home in. Try using different fabrics and fits and get used to exposing more of yourself in those clothes. Start getting ready for the day in them, go to bed in ones that are cute and most importantly comfortable and eventually as you feel more comfortable wearing stuff like that, then you slip in the sexier ones
Just go put it on in the bathroom and walk out. Guys don’t care about the set-up and atmosphere in my experience.
I think you may be overthinking it a bit, which is fair since it requires a touch of vulnerability. The biggest thing is to ensure everyone is definitely in the mood for sexy time, particularly if you would (understandably) take a hit to your confidence if you were turned down in your sexy lingerie. You would know what that means for your relationship – planned sex date, telling when he’s in the mood, or whether you guys are more spontaneous.
I think your #3 and #4 are actually quite good ideas. #4 even though you’re in baggy clothes, taking a baggy top off to reveal sexy lingerie would absolutely work, along with drawing him to you and saying “can you help me with these?” and flicking the elastic of your pants. And #3 is a surefire – shower first, get dressed, then meet him at the door when he’s finished his shower. A big kiss and some sexy words in his ear
Re #3: “it feels fake & forced” – I think that’s some insecurity you need to deal with. It seems like that’s when you are prepping to get down, and this is actually the usual time that I think most people would put on lingerie that isn’t a long term garment.
My partner and I have been together for 7 years. If one or both of us is planning on getting down, we’ll be sure to be ready when the time comes. If we’re not, we’ll tell the other to hang around for a minute out of the bedroom so we can get ourselves together (get cleaned up and done up in whatever way we want in the moment).
Maybe you’re not used to the more explicit planning/obvious “we’re going to have sex and I want to wear something special” scenario? It was certainly a transition for us going from the honeymoon phase of ripping each other’s clothes off at every minute to the “we both have full time, stressful jobs, we need to do some kind of planning” kind of sex. Which isn’t to say that spontaneous sex doesn’t happen, but sometimes if we want something in particular, we need to tell the other that it’s going to happen tonight/in 10 minutes when we’re ready.
Perhaps you should get a nice hotel room…you get there first….make sure u secretly pack stuff for him… have whatever you guys drink….snacks….or have his favorite pizza delivered….when u are ready….maybe have a friend…o e of his guy friends or relatives….someone he will listen to…..you have already told him your busy….if u have kids….with family….get him to that hotel room…..and surprise him….have a few outfits…..do a little show….he picks his favorite….BOOM……no phones…..no laptops…..just the two of u…..and keep doing it…shower….do it again….new outfit……if u think my ideas suck….that’s ok….just trying to help….good luck
If I were him I’d enjoy #3
Otherwise, maybe you could sneak into the bathroom and put it on before bed? NGL, wearing it under your normal clothes and letting him undress you sounds kinda hot too.
Another, possibly unlikely option would be to tease him by sending pics of yourself in it at some point if you have a break and you can change into it and snap a few pics?? I know that’s not exactly what you’re asking for but it’s kind of a start too?
I’m all for the visual tease, watching my so walk around in lingerie just fire’s me up….just make it something you like doing. Otherwise he will sense that unease. Your overthrowing is the problem because its just meant to be fun
I literally just put it on and come out with it, and the hubby always loves it. I love getting new sets and showing them to him. It’s something different and fun. Just do it! Lol
I think you are way overthinking this. I REALLY love lingerie. Whether that is my wife wearing it, me, or both.
Most of the time I beat her home so the situation is something like this:
We have discussed at some point during the day that we want to fuck.
I get home, shower, and put on some lingerie.
She gets home, showers, puts on some lingerie, and then comes to me.
I am in awe every time I see her come out dressed in something. The anticipation is part of the fun for us too. So I don’t mind playing with myself a bit while waiting on her shower and get dressed. Occasionally, I’ll lay out a lingerie set for her, which is a way for me to be dominant even though I’m in lingerie lol.
Because we both like to shower, we don’t really wear anything other than panties all day. But we both like to dress up a lot after we get home.