Hi. Looking for some advice about shifting goals after a longer relationship, and how to deal with post-breakup thoughts.
My (26M) last relationship of a year and a half ended about 2 months ago after we moved in together and she had a nervous breakdown. She was my first girlfriend and I loved her, but after breaking up I realized that she was toxic for me, and she let anxiety rule her life and decisions. I still think about her quite often though; the good times, the bad times, the love we shared…all of it. I fully understand why we broke up, and see how I am better off without her, however I think about the situation everyday, multiple times a day.
One question I have is, when will these thoughts stop crossing my mind? I know everyone’s answer is different, I just really dislike the sad thoughts I randomly have in a day.
My plan is not to date right now and get back on the scene around 6 months from now. In the meantime, I want to work out more, lose some weight, focus on work, and kick a nicotine addiction for good. Is this a solid plan with enough time to heal?
Thank you for reading this 🙂
3 comments
It just takes time. That’s a great plan dude.
You got a good plan ahead of you. I think if you’re still thinking about it I would say reflect on only where YOU went wrong and work on those things to get better. From what you have said, that’s probably the thing that’s holding you back is learning from your mistakes and being accountable for your actions
Yeah. 6 months is a good goal, but on the meantime don’t isolate yourself from the world, socialize a little, whenever possible and also PLEASE work on your goals. Thoughts will stop crossing your mind over time, there isn’t a perfect formula, it’s either someone else comes along or you working on yourself keeps you too busy to care about the past.