How on earth did you do the speeches at your wedding if you’re not a good public speaker for your career etc?

31 comments

1. I can’t understand how we are expected to go from zero, to suddenly pulling a great & funny public speech out of nowhere

   I am honestly probably gonna duck out of that shit entirely.

2. Public speaking is a skill that needs to be developed.
   The first times I needed to talk infront of a crowd I was stuttering, confused and was probably worse than you imagine.

   Now however I find it fun and easy

3. You’re speaking in front of your friends and family – that’s very different than speaking in front of your coworkers and boss. At your wedding you’re speaking from your heart, at work you’re not.

   No one expects a grand speech at a wedding and as a wedding guest, we mostly appreciate it when the speeches are short.

   Say something nice about your bride, thank your guests for coming, raise a glass to toast the wedding party, the guests, and your bride. Tell everyone to enjoy their evening.

4. Start by videoing yourself talking about any topic or telling an old life story for 2 minutes. Have an idea but mostly ad lib. Watch it, take notes and repeat every other day. Yes it sucks at first and is painful to watch but you will improve greatly.

5. I didn’t have the advantage of holding a glass of vodka while reporting on last year’s financials at the big meeting.

6. Do some stand up comedy. That’s how I got good at it.

7. Google

8. Preparation is key. Sure you might still seem nervous but you will say what you want/need to say. People won’t judge you for it, it will probably just come across as sweet in the context of your wedding day.

9. I just winged it and screwed up. Everyone laughed and it was fine.

10. I don’t remember even if I had a the speech at my wedding. Well it was small and very informal so could not be more more than a greeting before drink. I did/would probably say something like “I am very glad to be married to X and thank her for making it possible. I love you. Now you all can drink.”

    It’s like any other speech. Do you think you can make it to a wedding without never giving one? Anyway, if the wedding is happening she should know what she signed up for.

11. Lots and lots of practice.

    If you are doing the speech and you have never done public speaking before, you need to spend hours in front of a mirror getting used to the sound of your voice, the cadence of your words and the feeling of standing up and presenting.

    Watch some good presenters too. Some of the best are religious folks (I’m not religious but there are some great preachers who are fantastic presenters)

12. This is one of the reasons I’m not keen to have a wedding

13. If you feel you need to give a speech, just keep it short and thank them for coming. This is one of those many wedding things that people get hung up about needlessly. Nobody will remember what you said 5 minutes later anyway.

14. Just don’t do speeches. We had a big wedding but didn’t ask anyone to say anything. Didn’t want to put unnecessary pressure on the best man or maid of honor and I had no interest in speaking. People were there just to drink, eat, dance and have fun. I doubt many were disappointed without speeches.

15. A few ideas, none of which are mutually exclusive:

    * Practice the speech over and over again until it’s automatic.
    * Try some activities which involve some public speaking, such as an open mic night, Karaoke, improv
    * Take some public speaking classes

    I took public speaking classes for a full year in college. Got over my issues with it.

16. Drink too much to calm your nerves and bomb prolifically. Worked for me!

17. I just roasted the groom.

18. Is it necessary to do a speech at your wedding? I’ve done a few because I was the maid of honor in those ( sorry woman answering this), but I honestly can’t remember any of the grooms ever giving speeches. I don’t think it will be a big deal if you don’t?

19. By the time you are doing your speech, every guest will have likely stopped by the head table and greeted you and your partner. Generally, you will be full of positive emotions thanks to all these family and friends coming together to celebrate you. I had no plan of a speech but by the time the end of the evening came, even as an introvert I actually wanted to say thank you to everyone, and the public speaking became much easier than I ever would have though.

20. I didn’t do any public speaking at my wedding. My Best Man made a speech though.

    If you count my vows during the ceremony, I wasn’t making a speech, I was talking to my wife while in front of an audience with a microphone.

21. Staring at the floor saying: “Thank you all for coming, please enjoy the buffet, thank you!”

22. If you are the groom nobody will fault you for being nervous, so that’s already a point in your favour.

    Personally, I never really was the guy for giving speeches or presenting stuff, but taking basically any opportunity to do so at my vocational training made me competent enough. You could also try it with friends, or in front of a mirror. I did a few practice presentations where I told a cat about chemical processes.

    It really is all practice.

23. Not sure what you mean by speeches necessarily. We recited vows and it was easy because to be honest I don’t remember anyone else being there other than myself, my wife and the preacher.

24. Read off a letter or note……no one cares if you use that stuff

25. I didn’t give a speech at my own wedding but have given quite a few best man speeches. Mostly just write it out ahead of time and practice it a bunch. Try to practice it in front of a few friends or your partner.

    I definitely don’t think the groom giving a speech is expected in the US at least. I can only think of twice I’ve seen it happen and then it was just “hey thanks for coming” not a confession of undying love or anything.

26. Keep it short and practice beforehand

27. Join a debating club. The parliamentary style ones are better because they encourage heckling and humour. Provable facts are not required. It’s awful the first couple of times but you get good at it after 10 times.

    You learn how to think on your feet and turning the humorous attention on other people there is a practiced art. Those funny parts make your serious points more solemn.

28. You will literally never have a more friendly audience. Just talk to them like you’re hanging out.

29. My brother and I did a Co best man speech for my other brother. Both of us are terrible at public speaking. We went with a model that meant short points and a lot of passing the mic back and forth. This allowed us to prepare for the next little bit while the other person was delivering a few lines. We kept it all short and sweet, got some laughs, said some nice things then got out of there.

30. Still my favourite wedding speech to this day,

    “As most of you already know, I’m not one for giving long speeches. Thank you” *hands the mic back to MC*

    That’s what they get for making him give a speech ig ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

31. Practice in front of mirror and then your parents.