A few months ago I (18f)went to meet a friend of mine at his apartment and we decided to have some drinks and food. In fact we also decided to invite a few more (mutual) friends over so as to have a houseparty kinda thingy. But after waiting for like an hour or so, nobody showed up, they all had some work and a few were not even in the town. So it was just the two of us left. Him(19 m) was pretty much sexually active as far as I knew him. But I was a virgin. So we had some beer and vodka too. We were having a great time talking, we danced as well. We were literally standing so close that I could feel his breath, and in the heat of the moment we kissed. I actually did like him from the very start but didn’t want to get serious with him since he was a Playboy kinda guy and never had any relationships in the past. But anyways, under the influence, one thing led to another and I ended up laying naked on his bed. While I did say no to have sex, and said I want to stay virgin for quite a while. He was quite forcing me to have sex with him. So I just went with it, he tried to put it inside but it didn’t got in, I’d say the max he did was rubbing it off my vagina. I am confused like does that mean I lost my virginity back then or breaking of the hymen is the deal.
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The only part I got stuck on is that you said no and he still continued??
I have to say, virginity is a social construct, so if it was consensual, then yes. But in this case, since there was little to no consent, you get to pick. The hymen is not supposed to break!! There isn’t even supposed to be much pain during sex, as long as you’re properly aroused and in the mood.
The boy sounds like an asshole and it also sounds like he assaulted you.
Virginity is a social construct btw. But I suppose to answer your question, losing your virginity is however you define it.
“…he tried to put it inside but it didn’t got in..”
Breaking the hymen is considered losing one’s virginity for a female.
You’re still a virgin.
With all gentleness… it means you were sexually assaulted.
I think it’s quite fair to still “be a virgin” if the act that might cause you to question it was assault.
You’re a virgin because you didn’t have sex willingly. .
Otoh that guy is a rapist because he tried to have sex with you when you said no, even if he couldn’t.
That’s all that there is to say
Virginity is a thing made up by society that doesn’t have one specific perfect definition.
It means whatever it means to you. Don’t let society dictate how you feel about your own life.
Technically and traditionally PIV is a loss of virginity.
But folk define it however they define it. Theres anal virginity, oral virginity and such that people seem to come up with on the daily.
So to answer your wuestion id say your still a virgin.
To answer the rest of your blurb…
No means no and if you or he continues despite that clear decliration of not wanting to do anythong sexually is sexual assault or rape. Not saying he raped you but also coersion is also assault.
You have full autonimy in what you do sexually as does he.
If you want him to go down on you but not penetrate you thats fine, if he wants you to go down on you but not penetrate you thats also fine SO LONG AS YOU/HE ALSO WANTS TO DO THOSE!!
If at any moment you want to stop you can and have that right to do so.
You are a virgin and he is a rapist. File a report.
Once you said no, and he kept going anyway, he sexually assaulted you. No means no.
As far as are you a virgin still, if he didn’t get it in, then yes, you’re still a virgin.
Hymen is not an accurate anything. Some people don’t even have them. Losing your virginity in the Heterosexual since is penetration of the vulva by the penis. People can argue anal too since it’s penetration but technically it’s piv to lose your virginity. Btw he coerced you into saying yes which is wrong and could have been considered attempted rape
I am sorry that happened to you, he was wrong. You are whatever you want to be, and that can’t be taken from you.
I offer my alternative view on virginity. I personally hate the concept of virginity. Can you think of another specific term that refers to somebody who has NOT done something. There’s not a specific term for me because I’ve never smoked weed, or been surfing, or filed a TPS report. Having sex doesn’t make someone impure/dirty/wrong, no more than not having sex makes someone pure/clean/right or vice versa. Sex is something someone does, when or if they are ready and want to. You are still you, and can define yourself however you see fit
There’s no physical difference between virgin and not virgin, so its whatever you want it to be. You shouldn’t count this if it didnt feel good. Its your body.
PIV sex means losing virginity. That other sexual things like boobs touching sucking nipples etc. does not means loss of virginity. PIV sex is the only way to determine loss of virginity as the hymen is bleeding (if hymen bleeds by sex as hymen can be broken by any exercise).
Do not get confused by other things. Foreplay does give sexual arousal but PIV sex is the main thing. It is indeed the symbol of Virginity loss.