Growing up, many times when I spoke someone would say “I didn’t know you could talk” or command me to say to something else. I found it irritating. And they would usually say it when I’m in a middle of a conversation with someone else which makes it twice as irritating. Even though it is a rare moment for a quiet person to speak, this is just an excessive and unnecessary reaction and makes that quiet person feel uncomfortable. I also believe this is another reason to why people continue to be a quiet person because of stuff like this.
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Been there, done that. It’s mostly because they don’t think anything of it, in my opinion. People commenting on my “quietness” is honestly one of the main reasons I decided to talk more, shit got annoying.
Funny thing is i actually did talk to people when they would start a conversation with me, and the people who felt the need to point it out are the people who never tried to talk to me to begin with.
Weird world, I’ll tell ya.
those are the smart asses who think they’re cute whenever they something “witty”. I remember when I was a kid in elementary school, I had a kid who sat behind me who would flick my eye whenever I spoke in class. I would look back and he would pretend to be concentrating on what the teacher was doing.
One day when the teacher left the class, this jerk off started to throw shit at me and I closed my science book and threw it directly at his face. I ended up taking a few punches but I also stood up for myself. I got in trouble but I had enough so I felt justified.
Thankfully I’ve never had that issue as an adult.
why not
Them: “Why do you not talk”
Me: *How am I supposed to even answer this question under the premise of this question*
“I’ve never heard you speak” even though they have just not much
Them: “I did not know you could talk”
Me: “I did not know you could shut up”
Lol sometimes i’m fed up and hit em with the “well yea that’s cause i speak only when i have something smart to say” 👀👀
I’m shy also. People usually attack what they don’t like in themselves, or what they fear might be in themselves, as hard as they try to hide it. So they attack you. it’s their issue.
My defense as an invisible, shy person was to become class clown in 3rd or 4th grade. . That worked for me. (But that was my calling.)
Find your calling! And you’ll have plenty to say.
I’m rambling. 😉 You’ll get through it. 😉
Or they take the most simplest comment and make it sound so offensive or something. I got asked if I wanted some candy and all I said was, “No thanks, I’m good.” Yet they went on to go and talk about it like I thought I was too good for it. When I just straight up don’t even eat candy anymore.. after I found out it was the source of my acne.
Usually they are people who think they are funnier than they actually are. Likely a suburban upper middle class dad with a beer gut and whose supported by viagra and his new balance sneakers hiding his receding hairline with <insert hunting goods store or shit baseball team> baseball cap here.
They are douche bags end of story. You need speak up more make them uncomfortable!
Underlying resentment from having to carry the conversation most likely.
Assholery
Bc they know they won’t get a clap-back from a quiet person
They don’t know what you are going to say because you don’t talk often enough for them to predict. It’s a defense mechanism to diffuse anything you might say.
Because they think they can get away with it.
Prove them wrong, my friend.
i would always get “omg you’re so quiet!! why don’t you talk?”…… like i talk, just not to you bro
It is rude to ask someone why they are quiet, just as it’s considered rude to ask someone why they keep talking.
Ugh, I have a co-worker that loves to call me “Mr. Quiet” in a joking way and it really bugs me.
It’s basically the equivalent of calling someone “Mr. Fat” or “Mr. Ugly”. He takes an insecurity of mine, unnecessarily draws attention to it, and then I end up feeling shitty because I’m reminded that people actually do notice.
it’s because they are stupid
Idk if it’s an appropriate social skill; I’ve gotten into the habit of either telling people I do not appreciate x, y, z or asking them to explain it like I’m clueless (especially when it’s said with malice).
A neurotypical person will go out of their way to make sure you know the social “protocols” so I’m just returning the favor.
I think it can be an ill conceived attempt to keep you talking, keep the ball rolling.
Reply with And I still don’t know if you can shut the fuck up
“Why are you so quiet?” Idk why do you care?
It’s what I’d like to respond with but I can’t 😭.
I usually respond with “idk it’s just the way I am”
They need someone to put down so they feel better about themselves.
Next time just stare at them without saying anything.
Or pause and continue talking without acknowledging what they even said. It drives narcissists nuts lol.
I’m fairly quiet, but not meek, but depends on the day.. Anyway if people say anything about it I always tell them that I learn more when I listen, if I have input, I give it, but if I have nothing to add I’m not going to talk to just hear myself.. Some people take it as a bit of an insult (and to be fair it’s kinda passive aggressive, but they started it) but they will get over it..
you can always respond with Shakespeare. “Listen to many, speak to a few.” or Dalai Lama.. “When you talk, you are only repeating what you already know. But if you listen, you may learn something new.”
I know right, it makes me want not talk anymore xd
It’s also disrupting. Always ignore and say “uh, sure. Anyways, back to what I was saying…”
I don’t know the answer to it but what you could do to stop that is when someone interrupts you, go quiet. And just look at them. Your silence will speak volumes and they’ll back off. Won’t happen next time.
It’s an attempt to invite you to engage in banter and conversation.
That’s the bigmouth who enjoys dominating the conversation.
I use a passive aggressive,’oh sorry for interrupting your monologue’,and then ask them to explain things repeatedly.
I remember reading somewhere that when someone in your class or at your job or at a party calls you out for being “quiet,” what they’re really saying is “you don’t provide me with enough opportunities to talk about myself.”
“I know! Usually you talk enough for the both of us.”
Because anything that deviates from the norm is completely intolerable.
This is a form of shunning through mockery.
As the quiet person I only make smart ass comments when I speak
Usually the people who say that are the ones I like to stay far away from.
Yeah I never understood this. I literally get told “ you’re really quiet” or “ you don’t talk much do you?” 73 times a day. Or my personal favorite “has anybody told you your very quiet?” Like yeah everybody since I was able to speak. I just don’t get what people do it for. I don’t think it’s super hard to wrap your head around how that’s the opposite of what people want to hear. We’re in our heads enough as it is.
Cause social ineptitude is more common than we think. These people say these things without realizing/caring how they’re coming across
I used to be extremely quiet and emotionally reserved and got those kinda comments all the time from my parents. However, for the last probably 3 or 4 years, I am pretty much a completely different person, and I will talk constantly in front of my family. However, I still get those comments. It’s so annoying.
I’d just say, “I’m not quiet. Everybody else is too loud.”
When someone says “I didn’t know you could talk.” just say “well, I didn’t know you could be quiet long enough to listen.”
A bit of advice if you’re quiet; people tend to pick on you more that’s just how it is, has been my whole life
My favorite reply: “yes I can speak, I just don’t have shit to say to you”