Should I let it slide?
So i’m dating my boyfriend since a month now, and a few days ago i wanted to open his instagram and he showed resistance, I said okay and didn’t open, and the next day very randomly we were together and I opened his IG from his account, and I found his ex’s name on the top of the list of the messages, above my name.
So she DMed him on instagram with a Reel ( a random video with a quote) from an account with 0 followers, just her name, and he replied to her « we’ll talk later » and then there was a spamming of calls from the ex to which he didn’t answer. He blocked her immediately after I asked
I asked him why did you reply to her DM, he said she was calling, whereas there was no sign of a call in the beginning, so he lied
I asked him why didn’t you tell me, he said he even forgot that she texted, which I feel like is not true
I told him so that’s why you didn’t let me open your IG yesterday and he denied to which I just know is a lie
Here’s context of his relationship with his ex: they dated for 4 years long distance, never met and she cheated on him so he left her, she keeps coming back every now and then from different accounts. And he rejects her again every time , even before meeting me. That’s the story he told me the first week of our dating so I’m assuming it’s true.
Should I let this slide? His friends say that he’s a loyal man and he feels like a loyal man, but the lying in the moment made me feel uneasy, he’s a great man also overall. But I feel that this interaction with his ex without my knowledge is betrayal. And I’m paranoid that there’s more behind my back
TLDR: his ex spammed him of calls and he texted her that they’ll talk later but he kept this from me.
4 comments
I’d let it go.
He probably lied in the moment because you were coming on strong and accusatory, so he likely felt pressured to just tell you what you wanted to hear and avoid a fight. And you know, as white lies go, “She was calling,” when she was first DM’d and later lied, that’s very trivial.
This early on in the relationship, and already these problems? It’s safe to let him go to his ex
You went through his phone and are now jealous over a non sexual/emotional text message sent to a girl he “dated” but never actually met or had any physical contact with…. Think about it.
Why can’t he talk to his ex?