The sex with my (21F) bf (25M) has been great and he’s always mindful of our size differences when doing so (he’s 6’4 and 260ish pounds, while I’m 5’3 and 120 pounds). He’s also really careful about not going too deep and takes things slower with me since he’s also much larger and thicker than average.
We had sex a couple nights ago and it ended up being way rougher than it normally is, but I absolutely loved it and was begging him for more. He was constantly picking me up, flipping me around, and throwing me on the bed while moving me into the positions he wanted. We did doggy at one point and he was pounding into me faster and harder than I’ve ever seen before. It was sore, but a good sore.
At one point, I actually started crying because it was so intense and I was feeling overwhelmed by experiencing all of the pleasure at once. I’ve never done that before, so this was a first. He noticed I was in tears, immediately stopped what he was doing, and pulled out since he thought I was in excruciating pain. He asked if I was okay and checked me over for any bruising or rips/tears, but he didn’t find anything. I reassured him that everything was completely fine and told him that I enjoyed the roughness and wanted more of it, but he said he’s afraid of doing it so hard again and doesn’t want to seriously injure me.
Lately, we’ve only been having slower, more intimate sex, which is also good, but I’ve been missing his rougher side and I want him to know that I’ll be fine if he does it again. Anytime I talk to him about it, I feel like he thinks I’m not being truthful about how much pain I was in that night.
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Risks for the guy are bigger. Add the size difference and he would be giving anyone WAY too much power to screw him over with false accusations.
I get where you’re coming from but as a guy, I support your guy’s position 100%.
If you can’t have rough sex without crying, I don’t think he’s wrong to be weary of it. I’m sure I don’t have to explain that even as a dom, fucking someone who is crying would just be too far.
Give it some time, and maybe you can slowly ease back into the sort-of rough sex you had before.
Beg him to go harder while he’s inside you, it might tempt him to listen to you
I cry from overstimulation all the time but it’s something I very much enjoy with my partner. Maybe if you try and explain what the overstimulation feels like to you in detail it will convince him that pain was never a part of it. If he’s still scared maybe some bumper rings would make him feel more relaxed knowing he can’t go too deep?
You need a SAFE WORD and/or signal. He is to feel free to keep going until you say it. (Red, stop immediately, yellow, slow down, ease up a bit, two taps = stop.
After you have a good talk about what happened, of course.
It’ll probably help if you establish a safe word and the traffic light safeword system too. Green for go, orange for slow down, red for stop. That way he can check in with you and make sure the tears are good and not bad
Wow. I hope i can make my girl cry from pure pleasure one day
Demand it.
You: “Harder”
Him: “but what if…”
You: “HARDER!”
Maybe its a good time to introduce some of the [kink.com](https://kink.com) university videos, they have an extensive syllabus and cover rough play (and a range of other great topics).
Could be something really fun to explore together and who knows – you may open up an entire new world of things you’ll both enjoy (rope, wax, submission….?)
The rough sex you’ve had with him will no longer be the same for a while.
Mentally, the crying – Not your fault! – has fucked with him in that he legitimately doesn’t know if he actually was hurting you or not. Even though you told him the truth, if I were in his situation I’d still be a bit weary on if you were “just saying that” or if you truly meant it. Meaning, I’d be super hesitant about getting too rough again for a while.
I think your best bet is to just have sex, let him do what he usually does, tell him to go harder, be rougher, etc… and let him do it at his own speed/roughness for a while. Eventually he’ll get over it but for now, I think he’ll be hesitant to go “full force” rough.
He cares about you and doesn’t want to hurt you so, the last thing he wants to do is exactly that!
Think of it as if you were to get in a fender bender, or a full on wreck. It’s mentally terrifying right? Now every time you drive you are nervous, ultra cautious about literally everything, and timid. All of that is temporary but for a while that is how you are driving because the wreck did a toll on your mental status.
Lol. Humble brag much 😂
Seriously though, use a safe word and tell him to not stop until you use it. Communication helps get what you want
Have a conversation about/establish your hard limits, soft limits, and come up with a safe word. Communication is key when it comes to kink ♥️
The issue here is that he doesn’t believe you, which is not cool.
“Hey, it’s important to me that you trust me and that you believe what I tell you. Recently we had sex that was so intense and felt so good that I started crying. Sometimes that happens, especially in women, and here are some accounts of it that I found online. I want to be clear that I was not crying because it hurt. In fact, I want more sex just like that. If I want you to stop, I will say ‘stop’. Does that make sense? Can you do that for me?”
Get started slowly and you get little rough and start to moan and ask him to do it harder… at that time he can’t think of anything than doing it harder to you