My (22F) bf (23M) and I have been together for almost 4 months now and we go to grad school at the same university. I know 4 months isn’t a lot of time but both he and I got pretty serious fast and we’re really happy and we definitely see ourselves being together in the foreseeable future. He’s going to graduate in May but I have one more year left so we’re planning to be long-distance for a year and then after that we’ll both most likely be working in the same city. He was really nice about only really considering jobs in cities that would be relatively close by (our university is in the Midwest in the middle of nowhere basically lol and the closest big city is like 2.5 hrs away). He accepted an offer from a relatively well known company and we’ll be 3 hours away. We plan to see each other most weekends but one thing I’ve noticed is that we both have very different standards/approaches when it comes to texting. My response time is usually within seconds/minutes and I have friends I text almost every day, while he just doesn’t really like texting and I’m pretty much the only person he texts daily.
I’m basically just a little worried about how we’ll be able to find a middle ground, because even currently we’ll have our days when we’re both doing our own thing and don’t see each other all day, and he’s the kind of person that compartmentalizes and therefore just won’t reply to my messages for like 3+ hours. I don’t expect us at all to text throughout the day but I just want a reply in a timely manner that acknowledges my text if I do happen to text him, and that’s led to multiple disagreements all centered around this. I understand that he’s busy and the problem isn’t that we don’t text often enough — the problem is that sometimes I’m just kept waiting hours in the event that I do text him. Id love to hear some advice on how can find a middle ground that doesn’t seem unreasonable for him but I also am not just kept waiting for a reply for hours on end. Thanks!
2 comments
Id say find hobby or something to keep it off your mind.
You should definitely fill your day with more things to do so you can worry less about few sentences messaged to you.
You said it’s only a year. You will be with him again. Honestly it’s something you can wait through.
I am not trying be insensitive to your feelings. It’s just there are people who just don’t like texting especially daily and when they have things to take care of.
A good compromise would be text during a lunch break and maybe text when he gets off work, then another before bed.
I’ve been a long distance relationship it ebbs and flows. Throughout the day when working we’ll response like every 1-3 hours, but before bed and on a weekend it’ll be quick responses.
Basically you need to keep busy but find time on a morning or before bed for a little catch up or ft.