It’s been a while since I’ve been around groups of people. I find that I’m just generally very awkward and uncomfortable in these situations. At one point during the day, I was standing in between two girls talking about there exes and romance life with nothing to contribute to the conversation. Whenever I go to someone and start a conversation, it usually ends pretty quickly and the person goes to get food or whatever they can to leave an awkward moment.

At some point people get comfortable around people and let loose but I never can. It’s like I’m a charity case to whoever I talk to. At some point it just feels as if they are sacrificing there own independence and sense of happiness to be around me. What can I do to just be comfortable around others? I know a little bit about everything so I can keep any conversation going, but it always hits a hard halt at some point where I don’t have anything else to say.. That’s when people start to realize I’m really awkward and leave

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  6. Groups are harder to talk to. Just focus on one person, when talking to a group, and ask them questions. Then, when the convo with that person fades, shift to someone else in the group (if you can catch their attention) and focus on them.

    Here is my method:

    ———-

    Visualize a fountain of love above the person you’re going to talk to’s head, and imagine the words you say are going to cause this fountain of love to pour on them. Rather than focus on the fear that rises in your chest of “oh no, how are they going to respond” focus on the fountain of love over their head.

    Memorize:
    -where are you from?
    -where did you grow up?
    -what do you like to do for fun?
    -what type of movies/tv shows/books/music do you like
    -what have you been up to

    additionally memorize:
    -what’s been the best part of your day so far
    -what’s been the worst part of your day so far
    -what’d you have for breakfast/lunch/dinner

    (You can use the last 4 everyday.)

    Treat additional questions as a chance to be creative. You can monkey branch off of memorized questions and brainstorm up new questions in relation to those.

    Contribute information about yourself as well, and give compliments.

    Comment on your environment.

    If you get stuck, ask yourself, “If I were this other person, what would I want to be asked? What would I want to hear?”

    (In your spare time, watch tons of standup comedy and allow their wit to rub off on you.)

    (there is hey, how are you, how’s it going, but that is obvious.)

    ——–‐————-

    (The reason you use memorized questions is because you don’t want to spend a bunch of energy figuring out what to say – you want to have questions ready to fire off.

    If you have mixed feelings about the phoniness or insincerity of using memorized questions, realize the fact you care how the other person will respond means the questions aren’t insincere.)

    Treat everyone as a friend, and don’t put them on a pedestal.

    Don’t be outcome dependent. Value those who value you.

    ——————–

    EXTRA EXTRA questions:
    You can also ask do you like
    -Black Mirror
    -The Office
    -The Lord of the Rings
    -The Game of Thrones
    -Wednesday
    Any other shows?

    So, how do you typically spend your days?
    What does a typical day look like for you?
    Do you have any plans this week?
    Who inspires you, and why?
    Who are your favorite authors, and why?
    Tell me about yourself. What’s your life story?
    Who is your favorite TV show character, and why?
    What is your favorite amusement park ride, and why?
    What is your favorite smell?
    Do you like to cook?
    What foods do you like to cook?
    What are your favorite foods?
    What are your favorite restaurants?
    What foods do you hate?
    What are your favorite chips?
    What are your favorite drinks?
    Do you like coffee drinks?
    What do you like to eat for breakfast?
    What are your pet peeves?
    What are your favorite bands?
    What are your favorite video games?
    What is your favorite type of animal?
    Do you have pets?
    Do you have siblings?
    What was your childhood like?
    What were you like in school?
    What was life like for you in high school?
    What are your nighttime dreams like?
    What is your dream job?
    What are your regrets in life?
    What are your most embarassing moments?
    If you had 5 superpowers, what would they be, and why?
    If you could go anywhere, where would that be, and why?
    If you could hang out with any celebrity, who would that be, and why? What would ya’ll do together?
    If you had to live on a deserted island and could only take 5 items, what would they be, and why?
    If you could have 5 wishes granted, what would they be, and why?
    If there’s anything you could change about the world, what would that be, and why?
    What is something you wish others understood about you?

    (pssst… if you have the first 10 memorized & practiced, try to memorize these)

    WRITE ALL OF THE QUESTIONS I HAVE MENTIONED DOWN.

    P.S.
    You can try this out on Bumble for practice!

  7. Turn off your brain. Conciously analysing the situation and overthinking tend to make you feel awkward in social situations.

  9. The dilemma of not knowing what to say can be tricked by being a listener.

    You don’t need to bring anything to a conversation except to be a good listener. Actively pay attention, respond to what they say by using their words back to them, be agreeable, smile, nod, laugh, ask questions about what they seem passionate about.

    And if they stop talking and you need to carry the talking, you can always “listen” to nonverbal cues, like their outfit or style, or who is with who (how do you guys know eachother?)

    You can also learn to be content in quiet. Like Hank Hill and his friends, yup, yup, yup, mhmm. If you don’t have something to say, just relax and let the moment move on at it’s own pace.

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