Ok so yesterday I was having a painful reaction to a new medication so I was not able to do much . SO was really annoyed as he had a day off and wanted things to be done – I don’t work outside the home so literally do housework daily
So he’s really snappy and says that he’s going to do sone sorting anyway . Well I was just putting sone stuff in a bag for the tip when I saw a new hair band that shouldn’t be in there so I took a closer look and he had totally emptied out a draw that I put little important bits and pieces in .
For example Unopened new hair clips , cute little badges I bought myself , little gems that belong to my daughters and a pair of earrings and a brochure I got my niece months ago for her both day in 2 weeks .
He knows i keep things in there and I think he did it just to br petty . I’m really fed up with this behaviour and don’t know how to deal with it . No splitting is not an option as we have 3 kids including one with nonverbal autism.
Tdlr: so tried to through out my important bits draw cause I was too I’ll to help
4 comments
What did he say when you asked him about it?
Is this typical for your relationship?
If you believe he threw the things out despite knowing that they were important to you, he should apologize for that. I think you also need a new rule, no organizing the house on non-routine days. Autism has a strong genetic component, and growing up with an undiagnosed dad, when he was out of routine for a 3 day weekend he would often lose it and start “organizing” aka throwing things away and moving everything to bizarre spots.
“splitting is not an option as we have 3 kids including one with **nonverbal autism.**”
That’s exactly why splitting NEEDS to be an option if his behavior is untenable
He gets mad that you got sick (like all humans do) and that you couldn’t do your housework for ONE DAY – and what does he do?
Ask you what he can do to make you feel better?
Lovingly tell you to rest and he can take care of it?
Cuddle you and sleep beside you?
Take the kids out so you can have rest?
NOOOO!
He gets ANGRY and throws stuff away that he KNOWS you wanted to keep. And then has the audacity to pass that off as “helping.”
Be for fkng real.
Dude that dated and married and had 3 kids with you is treating YOU this way – and you think he’ll be any kinder to your kids (esp the one with NONverbal autism).
Has he had “outbursts” like this before?