We have to acknowledge how a person looks plays a huge role in how people treat you. Looking nice, looking like a perfect harmless person is good sometimes to be liked, but also a negative because people will try to take advantage. Especially people with baby faces , go their whole
Lives sometimes being not taken serious by peers. What’s ways you got a more serious look, whether it’s with, working out, your clothing style, weight loss, weight gain, makeup, puberty etc.
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Depends how old you are… you mentioned puberty; that’d be a good place to start lol.
If you’re a dude, dressing more formally will help. A well-tailored, freshly ironed dress shirt with a fitted jacket will signal confidence. Posture is another thing, if you have shit posture, you’ll look weak. Put some muscle on and get a few well-placed tattoos to complete the look.
Appearances help, sure, but your mentality, your self-image, is far more important. The way others treat you is, in part, a reflection of how you see yourself. If you lack confidence, if you don’t take yourself seriously, people will notice and treat you accordingly.
Build yourself up, work on becoming someone *you* can respect, and practice sticking up for yourself. Not saying that’s easy, but if you stick to the process, you will see results.
working out (been doing it for 2 years, 6 days a week, people from highschool don’t reconize me at all) , smelling good/good hygiene and walking confidently. also, stop overthinking everything you say, who cares if that one specific sentence you said was awkward/off, people forget.
optional : religion helps me add structure, purpose and discipline in my life, but i know it’s not for everyone.
these are the only changes you need.
Eat healthy, exercise a lot. It’s really simple it just takes dedication to do it everyday.
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Wearing clothes that fit and flatter me
Please include age and demographics next time, it makes recommendations easier
Working out is a great start, fitness builds confidence and discipline which are both things that foster respect
I recommend charisma on command YouTube to everyone because those videos were invaluable for communicating confident/open body language and talking/phrasing sentences in a way that made me feel more confident and respected
Things that make people take you seriously/respect you:
-good posture (this one is huge) sitting up straight, standing up straight, (don’t forget to relax the shoulders)
-open body language (not crossing arms or legs)
-acting with integrity, not just to people-please
-saying thank you more than you say sorry
-asking for feedback/input on decisions instead of asking for permission (instead of “can I do _?” “I’m thinking we do _, what are your thoughts”
Try sending audio messages to your friends (I do this over iMessage) it’s helped my speech immensely because I didn’t realize how frequently I say “um, uh, like” or end sentences on an upward inflection which makes you sound less confident.
For clothes. Make sure you own well fitted business attire. A couple of basic white and light blue button up shirts. A pair of black and navy slacks with matching blazers. black formal shoe, brown formal shoe, and a black belt and brown belt. These things should be in your wardrobe. I am appalled by the amount of people that are egregiously underdressed a lot of the time.
wear business clothes to a job fair or networking event. Dear lord never go to these events in casual clothes. I used to be a recruiter for a couple of companies and the prospective candidates that were dressed in business clothes always made good first impressions.
*remember, it is always better to be overdressed than underdressed and it is much easier to make a good first impression than correct a bad first impression
And a lot of first impressions are made by appearing polished and put together
Being a better communicator. Controlling your words, your thoughts, your voice.
Something too many people don’t seem to want to accept is a large part of looking “put together” or “attractive” is the “day to day” effort that is put in. Outside of the typical healthy eating, water intake and exercise there’s lots of little things that add up too. Doesn’t matter how naturally good looking you are tbh, if you don’t put any time into *highlighting* your appearance you are rarely if ever going to be perceived as such.
Things that are more important than you’d think but also far easier to obtain, like picking the right haircut for your face. The right colour to compliment your undertones. Taking care of your teeth, nails and skin. Using the likes of teeth whiteners, moisturisers, hair treatments. Showering yourself frequently and putting effort into drying and keeping your hair sleek and stylish. Applying attractive perfumes/aftershaves. Making sure your clothes are fitted and tidy with no holes or stains. Keeping your shoes in good nick and following basic fashion trends or blazing your own trail. These are some very basic things that add up very quickly and make a HUGE difference to not just your appearance but your confidence too. Once your confidence is up you will naturally carry yourself with more grace and esteem so you will also appear taller and more impressive. All these combined as well will end up in you smiling more which honestly is scientifically proven to be one of the most defining features of so called “attractive”, “approachable” people. A genuine smile is honestly transformative and if you *know* you’ve put in the effort you’ll be filled with such pride that’ll it be hard to keep one off your face.
It takes time and it costs money to look “attractive” in the traditional sense. Generally the more you invest, the better the returns. The good thing is though that the steps I’ve mentioned are accessible to absolutely everyone and you don’t even have to sell the farm to afford them. You don’t need personal trainers or plastic surgery or diet pills or personal stylists. A great starting point, if you feel a bit lost at first, is to follow some people online who inspire you or you admire for their style, fashion, hair, etc… People with similar body shapes, heights, hair colour, etc… to yourself and see how they put themselves together. Adding them to a feed is handy because while you’re just mindlessly scrolling it will allow you to subconsciously be picking up and putting together tonnes of tips and tricks that will help you show yourself off to the world. That’s the main “hack” tbh. It’s effort. Consistent effort that pays off handsomely and just increases in value over time. Invest in yourself, believe you me you are worth every second and every penny.
I was a fat goth for most of my life. Then I started eating a little less and moving a little more. Not by much, but enough to where my normal weight was within a healthy BMI. I started to play around with makeup around this time, and acquired a signature look. Then I met a man who liked it when I wore colorful clothes. So, I started brightening my wardrobe. I started smiling more, and listening better.
All together, the world is way different to me now. Everyone is super nice and outgoing. I can’t seem to go anywhere without a kind stranger striking up a conversation. The world is brighter, and I have a truly healthy social circle in my 30’s.
To be honest with you it’s about genetics it’s either you got the look or not what you can do about it is very minimum.
Piercings and tattoos.
Went through every element of my own presentation and asked myself about my standards (within my willingness and resources). Example: Hair, make-up, jewellery, clothes, level of fitness, hygiene, nails, use of voice, body language, posture, smile, eye contact etc.
I find the most important questions to be centered around standard + habit. Do I accept my standard going forward? If not, what is possible for my new standard and how can I implement this as a habit in my life? Don’t overcomplicate. Hygiene, haircut, clothes and attitude are the main ones.
If you are the type to wear make up, go to Sephora or something and ask for a makeover, they usually will recommend products while they do it. You don’t have to buy anything but you might get some samples or advice about products you already are using too.
There’s a few “wardrobe by mail” services too, a good one might pair you with an actual stylist and again, they will send you clothes to try, thonat you do not necessarily have to buy, and give you ideas about your looks.
You don’t have to go full tilt scary, sometimes just making yourself look more mature can have people taking you more seriously.
Now, on a more metaphysical level, perhaps reading some philosophy or social theory or theology will bring new ideas to you and incite you to live differently than you currently do. Consider, too, how-to books that might teach you a craft or engage you in a subject you are already interested un on a new level. Classes are also a good jumping point to actually *start* doing things outside of work/education and family life.
Most importantly tho: stop getting in your own way. Often, there is the unmet desire that we suppress. Do you know the meme “aren’t you tired of being nice? Don’t you ever wanna go apeshut?” It’s like that. Except, for some of us, “apesh!t” is like…making a normal boundary, or doing a very average activity that is looked down on by our immediate peers/family.
Give yourself permission to live a life you want to live.
I was 5 foot 8 inches tall and 127 pounds when I joined the army. Needless to say, I was picked on tremendously. hell, When I deployed, I was issued a 249. It was at that point that I decided to hit the gym and take up boxing mixed martial arts, etc. Started becoming proficient at my MOS, and got intimately, familiar with the rules and regulations of the army, adjusted my posture and tone of voice. developed a confidence level that could honestly be confused with arrogance. transitioned out of the military And carried my new attitude into my civilian life..
Color theory.
Body language.
I also started working out and lost weight.
Eat healthy. Good hygiene. Work out 5 days a week. Lots of water etc. BUT what makes a HUGE difference is getting clothes tailored
I’m a 40/F but I can definitely pass for someone in their late 20’s. I’ve always looked younger than I am & I’m also short so…
I do often get mistreated or overlooked because my appearance doesn’t “command respect”. 🙄 I’ve learned to be aware of how I dress. I don’t wear super bright colors (like fuchsia and royal blue) or t-shirts anymore because they contribute to making me look young. I stick to basic colors and muted tones like dusty pink, olive and baby blue. I also wear flats or boots instead of sneakers.
Working out definitely. Gave me a strong sense of self and confidence. I felt like I had the right to talk to anyone I wanted to after working out.
First of all, don’t pretend to be something you’re not. If you’re a mathlete that enjoys doing the Sunday crosswords every week, don’t dress like you’re in a biker gang just to look tough. That being said, if you want to be taken more seriously, some ground rules:
– make sure you’re not wearing wrinkly, frumpy clothes
– get a good haircut and get it touched up every six weeks at least (more if you have a higher maintenance cut). ideally style it too unless you have a crew cut
– wear a “complete” outfit (a few accessories, coordinated clothes, layers) that fits you well. almost no man should be wearing a medium
– have impeccable hygiene. if you can’t grow a good beard then shave every 1-2 days, get rid of nose hairs, make sure you don’t have a monobrow, take care of your skin, have white teeth and clean breath, never go out in public with BO, shave your neck if you grow a lot of hair there, trim your nails and make sure you don’t have dirt under them, and wear a good cologne to put on the finishing touches
– on the note of muscle, it’s honestly not as important as a lot of guys think. as long as you’re healthy and well toned you don’t have anything to worry about there
well being more attractive in general will make you more charismatic lol even smiling more
and a decent amount of good styling is knowing what looks good on YOU specifically and not just following trends
but your clothes also signal to people your values and personality. dressing in a way that mirrors the people who you find yourself among makes them more comfortable, cuts down on the distance between you and them. shows humility.
but if you wanna attract self-expressive and wild people, dress that way. if you wanna attract serious business people, dress that way. dress intentionally to communicate, to help support whatever message you wanna send, to help people register it better.
like a character in a movie, their appearance and personality mesh in a way people can anticipate. (if you really wanna maximize your effect, you can be like marilyn monroe and use your appearance to inform your persona, use how people judge you anyway to your maximum advantage, but that’s psycho level artistry/manipulation, lol, if sometimes easier to lean in then work against your appearance.)
makeup/ skincare but not for the reason you think…it forces you to look in the mirror and take time out of your day to spend staring at yourself. you come to learn what features you love about yourself and how to accentuate them
I’m working on this now. Someone recently described me as “meek” and man did that feel like a knife to the abdomen.
Speak with intent and don’t ramble.
Dress for the park.
Posture.
Stop smiling all the time.
Stop worrying about others’ comfort.
Basically for me, unlearn people pleasing through therapy.
Pay better attention to body language.