We’ve been talking for six months and dating for about a month and he’s going through a depressive state (he’s had them before and he ended his previous relationship because of it). He asked to start a break because he doesn’t want to break up with me because he doesn’t want to end another relationship because of it and he wants to be with me as he says. So we’re acting like we’re friends and it’s awkward as hell. I mean I want to be with him but I’m stressed out that something is going to happen or I’ll get a break up text. I don’t know what to do honestly, I’m being supportive and pushing my feelings aside but other than that I don’t know. I honestly feel guilty I feel this way, when he’s got it worse right.
I know someone is going to say we’ve only been dating for one month but we’ve talking for six and I honestly fell in love with, truly. We get along great, we share the same beliefs and opinions. Just this break so early on is stressing me out especially when his depressive episodes before ended his last relationships. He assured me we won’t break up and I do trust him but there’s this fear that we might.
I wonder if I’m just being selfish and need to truck on and wait to see what happens. I ‘ve read other advice that I should dump him but I don’t want to do that.
TL;DR I (25m) am stressing over my depressed (22m) boyfriend will turn our break into a breakup, talking for six months, dating for one.
3 comments
You can just wait it out, but maybe he’s just not in a state to be dating anyone. It’s a month only and he already is so overwhelmed you’re on a break. Maybe it should end and you should stick to staying friends, because that’s clear and gets you both out of expectations limbo.
You can like him, but you can’t fix his depression. It’s something he has to figure out on his own timeline with his own tools. It may disappoint if it’s a relationship ender, but apparently it has such impact. Current situation brings unrest.
It’s hard to maintain a relationship if you have to do the hard work alone cos the other person needs so much help. Especially in the first days of a romance, where you’re going to look back and rely on in difficult moments later. There has to be some form of equal attention, but it seems that he doesn’t have the bandwidth for that.
If he wants a break then it needs to be a real break ie you don’t see each other. Staying together and feeling awkward isn’t a break. Personally I don’t think it’s good idea to put your life on hold for anyone.
Yes, you are too young to get bogged down by a person with depression.