What is your approach to making friendships last?

15 comments

1. Infinite patience, zero expectations, never lend/borrow money.

2. Initiative and communication, it’s the one thing dudes lack a lot more than women. Just inviting people to things and setting up hang outs. I have plenty of friends we’re we have a good time but we only hang of for certain things like football season. That and playing video games weekly keeping that constant contact is how you become close friends.

3. Never was successful.

4. Don’t get mentally ill.

5. It’s difficult because I would say that I am successful at this but I don’t know that I could explain to you exactly how it works. I’ve picked up friends from all phases of my life and some of them I’m still in semi-regular contact with. From school friends all the way through to people from work.

   I guess it’s a matter of befriending someone, being genuine in my interactions, and genuinely caring about them. I’ve found that actions speak louder than words. So it’s not enough (to me) to let someone know that I care. I want to show them. I feel the same way in my friends’ interactions with me. Words are cheap.

   Lastly, communicate. If not frequently, then semi-regularly. Arrange something so you can see people in person be that a coffee, a beer or host an evening at your place. And keep on top of it. Have you not heard from someone in a while? Reach out.

6. At the end if the day, you just have to initiate. Most promising friends are just not going to be great at initiating cool events. If you’re the one, then the good friends will be there.

7. Sincerity and loyalty.. 2 keys to having long lasting friendships

8. Make an effort to catch up.

   go camping, archery, events, museums, games, beach, hiking etc. Something more than just drinking.

   And talk shit over the phone when you can’t chill in person. My Pop used to have a yarn for hours with his mates until my Nan wanted him off the phone so she could call her friends or eat dinner together.

   Communicate, even if it feels a bit awkward. Mates need to know what’s going on with each other. E.g. ‘hey bro, shits been a bit rough lately, wanna go for a day hike?

   Even if you have to joke about it a bit and give each other a bit of shit about it at first. Saves lives.

9. Always keep in touch. Schedule meetups

10. invest less time with the people who aren’t reciprocating the effort you put in. use that spare effort with people who want you around.

11. I dont have an approach. If they bound to last then they will

12. You have to pick the right people and do the work. Relationships take time and energy. You need to reach out to people, make an effort to get together and be interested in their lives. They need to be people who do the same. Selfish narcissistic people are not worth your time.

13. Somebody correct me, but I think it was Walt Whitman who said something to the effect of, Visit the house of your friend often. For the unused path will grow weeds. So basically spend a lot of time with them.

14. It doesn’t matter how many friends you have. Just nurture the friendships that allow to be nurtured. Don’t chase friends. The ones that do become nurtured are the friends you will have for life. I have 3 really good friends and that’s enough for me. We’ve been friends for over 20 years, and while we may not always be busy making epic or wholesome memories, we will always have eachothers back no matter what time or day it is. That’s something no amount of casual pals you see regularly and do the same stuff with can ever replace.

15. Literally all you have to do is carve out time to spend interacting with someone, preferably in person. The rest of the stuff goes naturally, if it’s meant to be.