I was walking this morning when this guy from a bench said “hey *my name* it’s been ages since I’ve seen you”. I did not recognize this guy one bit. Had 3 minutes of small talk before luckily my GF called, giving me the perfect excuse to walk away.

30 comments

  1. This is my life, but even more, Mrs tmstms’ life. It happens to her on a weekly basis because she is a public performer, so always in different parts of the country. Someone turns up from her past, usually someone she was at school or college with (who has likely followed her calendar and seen she was nearby).

    1) I tend just to say *I’m really sorry, I have no idea who you are*

    2) Mrs tmstms has to do more pretending, but that is because she is in a public situation where she has to be smiley and polite to everyone after the performance.

    3) Someone in this position whose book she just read made a perfect comment- the people who say *You won’t remember me, but….* are the ones you actually DO remember. The ones who assume you know them are the ones you have no idea about,

    The psychology of this is probably that if you have been living rent-free in their head, they assume you have been thinking about them too.

  2. I generally just assume it’s someone I’ve probably slept with at some point and they’ve faded from memory.

  4. I would just say something like

    “I am really sorry but I am terrible at faces, where do I know you from?”

  5. “Sorry to be rude but I don’t remember your name”

    “Do I know you?”

    “Forgive me but I don’t remember you”

    Anything like this, it’s basic speech mate

  7. There are a couple of ways this plays out.

    A) They have mistaken you for someone else.

    B) You have met before, but have forgotten them.

    C) They are a scammer and will eventually get into a sob story and ask for money. (This one actually happened to me decades ago when I was but a lad. A dude had been watching me on the bus and had picked up enough information from a lanyard around my neck and an overheard phone call to have an “in”. He was very convincing.)

  8. Sadly, it’s also a common ploy used by certain beggars to initiate engagement. The ‘it’s been ages’ is to get your attention. If you show any kind of curiosity it’s followed by: What’s your name again? Followed by’ I’m trying to remember where it was now.’ Finally, you get : ‘ You don’t remember me, do you?’

    By this time, they’re on first name terms with you and will be telling you how they’ve hit hard times and any little will help.

  9. Not particularly helpful to your situation but a while ago I was walking down the street, recognised someone I hadn’t seen for ages. He recognised me, we had an enthusiastic greeting and then realised we had each mistaken each other for someone else. So weird we both agreed that the other looked exactly like the person we had mistaken each other for.

  10. I’ve had this a few times, but genuinely until I’ve met someone a good few times and there is a reason to know their face I won’t have a clue who they are.

    Conversely a neighbour of mine was convinced he knew me one day as I wandered past. I knew I didn’t, and he realised halfway through the conversation he didn’t know me either. Now we always stop and have a chat and occasionally sit and have a beer.

  11. will put them on the spot and ask them to remind me where I knew them from, had one guy lose about half his body weight and his beard and it was like omfg

    crap on names and so locations and clubs help

  12. Occasionally I find it hard to recognise people out of context especially if they’re one of those people who don’t have something distinctive about their appearance.

  14. The woman across the road said she was once at the petrol station and a bloke she didn’t recognise started talking to her.

    “Hiya Pam, how’s things, how’ve you been?”

    She went along with it and chatted to him for a bit before he said “sorry I’m just having you on, you don’t know me. Your name’s on your numberplate.”

  15. I got this a lot in my 20s, largely because I was quite known locally through my band/as a guitarist. People from other bands or that I had spoken to for 2 minutes drunk after a gig would usually come over and talk as if I was going to remember a guy I spoke to for 3 minutes 12 months ago.

    I feel I was always quite blunt. I would speak with them and assume I knew them, I’m not totally ignorant, but when they asked if I remembered them it was just “not a fucking clue who you are, mate”.

    Had one the other month who cornered me in ASDA that I felt bad about afterwards. He just came up to me and was like “yo, Tao626, how’s it going, dude! Not seen you in years!”, started talking and asking how life’s going. He then asked the question, “you don’t remember me, do you?” to which he got a solid “nope” and got on with my shopping. I feel extra bad about it because he was clearly around quite a bit back in the day and we clearly had a lot of interaction, but I have absolutely no recollection of him ever existing.

    I find it odd to know people genuinely know me and have stories about me and I don’t know who the fuck they even are.

  17. When did we last see each other?
    How are you doing?
    How’s work?
    How’s the family?
    Etc….
    Hopefully you eventually work out who it is.

  19. This happens to me A LOT. So often that I’ve developed the art of conversing like old acquaintances without actually knowing who they are. I have no idea how I do it. I just improvise. My wife recognises the spiel and as we walk away says “You haven’t a fucking clue who they are, have you?”

  20. Being an identical twin I try the old “sorry I think you know my brother not me”. Usually works but I have been hit with “no it is you I know” at which point I panic

  21. Honestly, I’ve had 10 minute conversations with people who I don’t know but clearly know me. I just wing it until it clicks who the person is, otherwise I just let them go and let it live as one of life’s great mysteries.

  22. I usually try and ask them open ended questions so they divulge pieces of their life that gives me clues as to who they are

  23. Play along. Hope the gears start turning while I’m talking. Don’t let them know that they didn’t.

  24. I had this the other day! This woman knew my name, where I lived, where I went to school, had no idea who she was!

    Apparently I hadn’t seen her in 2 decades and she babysitted me when I was 6 and still recognised me!

  25. I had this a couple of years ago.
    I was at an art gallery opening and this lady came squealing and threw her arms arounds me asking how I was ect. We had a ten minute conversation, and to this day I haven’t the slightest idea who she is?
    She introduced me to her boyfriend who was a nice bloke.
    Turns out he’s the geezer that runs Raindance. He gave me his number and said to bell him if I ever want guestlist.

  27. I straight up just said to a guy I don’t remember you at all… he was like… are you serious?

    .. sorry man. I’ve done a lot of living since then.

  28. My favourite example of this ever happened when we were on holiday, on the other side of the world.

    Irish guy comes up to my (Irish) partner and starts talking like they were old friends, they chat, then they part.

    Turns out my partner also had a “fuck do I know him” moment and a load of panic before he realised the truth; he was wearing a GAA shirt and the lad was just chatting about home *generally* not their shared home and they had not met and he *wasn’t* talking to my partner like they knew each other 🤣

  29. I have an insane ability to style this out. It happens to me a lot, and I have a knack for picking up on particular cues and saying the right generic statement to sound convincing. I have had dozens of conversations like these over the years.

  30. I used to know some teenage lads who would go up to people pretending they knew them just for the giggles. People nearly always went along with it while looking a mixture of polite/bemused.

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