My (24F) friend (25F) hurt me and im not sure if its worth trying to salvage

I (24F) slept with my best friends (25F) best guy friend (28M) about 3 months ago at a small get together. Long story short, I was in a relationship of 4 years at the time. I told my boyfriend the day after and I ended up breaking it off 2 weeks later.

This was a confusing situation as I have only ever slept with my bf at the time before this friend of a friend. I did not know him before this day, I maybe met him one other time. Anyway, my best friend talked me through it and everything and was very supportive of the matter. I did want to connect with her friend again once the dust settled to at least clear up the situation and get some closure. He asked her for my number in the midst of all of this as well but I needed to wait until my bf and I sorted out our situation and he eventually moved out. She checked in on me frequently to make sure I was okay.

My best friend expected me to move out within a week or 2, but its not that simple. My ex and I still very deeply care about each other and we lived together for 2 years. We also had 2 dogs, and moving is obviously expensive and a pain in the ass. So about a month goes by and she asks me how Im doing, as per usual. And I tell her Im doubting my decision to have my ex move out and going back and forth and yada yada. She got very upset that I still hadnt moved out and this was about a month and a half after the incident. So then she asks if I’m still sleeping with him. And I told her yes. And she chewed me the hell out. I reached out to all my friends and everything wondering if breakup sex was normal, because I thought it was, but my best friend took it personally for some reason.

So another 2 weeks go by and I dont hear from her at all. Then it was her bday, and I texted her Happy Birthday and everything. Didnt get a response for 48hrs because she “didnt want it to be unnecessarily heated.” So I tried to explain my situation, breakup sex is normal, we lived together 2 years, dated for 4, and obviously everything is emotionally charged as hell. And also, I am single now. But she took offense to me being interested in her friend but sleeping with my ex who I was still living with. She said it felt like I “didn’t take into account her friends, my ex’s, or HER feelings” and told me she was not comfortable being in the middle and handing out either of our numbers and if we wanted to talk we could reach each other on FB, which is fine. Again, I tried to explain that breakup sex is normal, and she says verbatim, “what you were doing with \[ex’s name\] was not normal breakup sex and I think you know that and I think you know how fucked up it was so I’m just going to leave it at that because theres literally no point in rehashing this anymore.” I’m not sure was constituted “normal breakup sex,” and its none of her damn business anyway. This made me incredibly mad and I did not respond.

3 WEEKS go by, and I heard absolutely nothing from her. I thought she might reach out to at least see if I was alive during that time while my ex moved out and I was/still am going through one of the hardest times of my life. So I finally hear from her this past Sunday, and she asked how I was doing and she was there if I needed anything. So I said I was doing not great, thanks for checking in. And she asked what I was feeling and I was just vague and mentioned I had reached out to her friend on FB last Weds if she could pass along the message. So then she gets back in the middle and presses “my one question is what do you want with \[friend\] after all of this” and things like that. Literally acting like his mom. And turns out he did see I messaged him and just hadnt gotten around to it yet – beside the point. She was like “Im sure hell respond, he didnt say he didnt want to respond. He is going through a hard time right now too (not this) and it notoriously bad at responding. But make sure you are in the right headspace, you have just been through a lot.” Which I immediately thought, well no shit, where were you.

The conversation ended with a “well whatever happens now happens” and I just ended the conversation there and haven’t said a word since. And Im not sure I want to. It didn’t actually seem like she really gave a shit how I was feeling, and I think the only reason she reached out to me was because he mentioned to her that I had messaged him. Otherwise, I don’t think she wouldve reached out. I am very hurt by all of this. We have been friends for 7-8yrs. We met freshman year of college and I stood by her side while literally no one else did in our hall of 12 girls (BIG drama). She has always been very supportive and even at the beginning of this incident she was ready to hook me up with her friend and was helping me get through it. But the breakup sex apparently was just unforgivable. I didn’t hurt her in any way. And now it seems she cares more about her guy friend than me (theyve maybe been friends 2-3yrs.) and is being SUPER protective of him.

I’m not sure if its even worth mentioning to her that she hurt me, because I know she is very opinionated and she is “always right.” I am also just furious about the whole thing and my best friend literally abandoning me while I just needed support, whether she agreed with whatever or not. She also was going to invite me to her birthday party where her friend would also be at, but she obviously never mentioned it to me after I told her about the breakup sex. So I was completely excluded, and it just doesn’t seem like she cares and is taking this all personally when really its between me and my ex and me and her friend. I also want to add, she is lesbian and has a gf, so no she is not interested in her guy friend or jealous or anything.

tldr; my best friend judged and shamed me for the way I handled my OWN breakup with my ex of 4 years (we lived together for 2) and proceeded to ignore me for 5 weeks total over the course of the 3 month breakup-moving out situation. She is very opinionated and I’m not sure its worth trying to justify my character more than I already have. We’ve been friend for 7-8yrs, we’ve been through thick and thin together. But she abandoned me at one of the hardest times of my life. I’m not sure its worth trying to salvage.