Men, how do you want to be heard?

9 comments

1. I kind of want the permission to not be heard, honestly.

   I feel like the spotlight is on me enough in my day to day life that letting my opinions and views and presence fade into the background somewhat is actually preferable.

   Just lay next to me while I sleep and read a book, or that sort of thing, is my naughtiest fantasy lol

2. If I say something, and the response shows that they understood.

3. Like a person.

4. Honestly, if I tell you about a problem you are causing me, I won’t feel heard unless you change your behaviors to stop causing me that problem.

5. It’s easy to feel un-heard when what we say isn’t easy to hear. People get defensive, and then the conversation stops being about what the intitial topic is.

   Yes, talk about how you feel about what was said, but **stay on topic.** Have a pen and paper if you need it but bring up the related issues you want to talk about *after* that 1st topic has had some time in the conversation.

6. Why would I want to “be heard” if in the end it does not change the actions? From my perspective in many regards it is not that people don’t hear what men are saying its that thaley decide to ignore, dismiss or weaponize it instead. Rarely do these things get taken seriously.

7. I want to be heard via someone’s ears

8. I don’t care if you understand. Whats important to me is listening with the intent to be understanding.

   I don’t expect her to understand what I’m experiencing. Just be understanding if the fact that I am, and its a real and valid experience to me. And then, try to have a bit of empathy.

   Nothing worse than women going around claiming to be the more empathic gender while being completely absorbed in their own experience and denying the validity of, or trying to redefine, the experiences of men.

9. Never forget: Everything you say to a woman can and will be used against you in the future by that woman.

   And probably her family.

   And almost certainly her best friend.

   Count on it.