I’m a college sophomore and she’s a college super senior (5th year). We are both in many of the same classes this year. We talk to each other every day. We sit next to each other in 1 of the 3 classes.

About 2 weeks ago I noticed she was having difficulty with a computer related assignment. So after class I asked her if she needed help and she replied with something like “oh my god yes I do thank you so much”. So I showed her what she was doing wrong and she fixed it. She asked for my number right afterwards and I gave it to her. [BUT this was most likely in case she has anymore questions so she can contact me.]

The past week ive walked with her after class as she heads to work and we talk for 5-10 minutes. But that doesn’t feel like long enough.

We’ve actually agreed to find a time when we’re free to talk about our lives. I found out that she also likes deep conversations and likes learning about other people’s lives. I told her to let me know on a time that works for her. Still waiting on that but I won’t push it because I’m incredibly busy the next 2-3 weeks.

So then this Friday we were in a lab class and she asked if she can see my answers for an assignment. I told her that I’d show her the process to get to the answers but I’m not going to straight up give her the answers to every assignment. And this made her a bit upset, we didnt talk for the remainder of the class.

So after I left I sent a text asking her if she actually needed help with the assignment and she said she eventually finished it.

I’m not really sure where to go from here because I do like her and I want a friendship out of this at least, but also I don’t just want to be used for answers this semester. And we are in a group for a group project so I don’t want to cause any conflict.

TLDR: I (m19) really like a girl (f22) in 3 of my classes. But I think she’s using me for answers in class because she was annoyed/possibly upset whenever I didn’t give her the answers to an assignment and told her I’d help her get to the answers or look over her assignment. I’m not really sure where to go from here because I do like her and I want a friendship out of this at least, but also I don’t just want to be used for answers this semester. And we are in a group for a group project so I don’t want to cause any conflict.

3 comments

  1. You were absolutely right to establish that you would help her understand how to complete the lab assignment, but you were not going to simply give her the answers. That may have embarrassed her as much as it upset her, especially if she was looking for a lazy way to complete the assignment without doing the work. But you showed her that you are honest and principled in addition to being kind and helpful, and I’m not the only straight woman in the world who finds that combination of qualities VERY attractive in a man LOL.

    I’d advise you to take the initiative in moving your friendship beyond the classroom. Once you get past your grueling schedule over the next 2-3 weeks, you could say something like this:
    “I always enjoy our talks together, and I’d like to get to know you better. Can I take you out for coffee after our classes end on Friday?” …Or whatever works for you. Instead of vaguely suggesting that you’ll get together sometime in the future, offer a specific date, time, and place to meet – and ask her to suggest an alternative, if that doesn’t work for her. Good luck!

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