I (f26) have been with my boyfriend (m27) for 5 years. I recently decided to come over hormonal birth control as I never felt fully comfortable with hormonal contraception.
Coming off it has been great! My skin, my energy, my cycle are all regulated! But my attraction to my boyfriend has been getting less and less since it was taken out. I struggle to muster up any sexual desire when he is around and I get uncomfortable with affection from him.
I love him a lot! I miss the desire and the intimacy as we were previously very affectionate and intimate!
But I don’t want to tell him this has gotten less because this would really hurt him.
Any advice would be appreciated to help bring it back. Anyone else gone through something similar? What did you do to turn yourself back on?
7 comments
This is a known thing. Hormonal birth control effects how we smell pheromones
It’s a biochemical thing. You can try turning him into a gigachad but there is a very real possibility it is completely unfixable.
It happens, unfortunately . I stopped using it around 24ish , freaking hate the hormones…
It might come back for him, but I don’t think it will . Try going a few weeks without seeing him , maybe your body needs time to regulate, 9and absence makes the heart grow fonder … maybe
You probably don’t want to hear this.
You might not be compatible.
I was with my ex for 10 years. 8 on the pill, and stopped the pill to put an IUD – started not to feel attracted to him anymore.
Tried to break up with him for those 2 years on IUD (also had tons of other reasons). Somehow, I think the pill was affecting my attraction and judgment.
Yeah, your natural attraction to him will never come back. When most go on birth control, they are attracted to someone they otherwise wouldnt be. Its been becoming more common
Same here. After getting off hormonal BC I lost any interest in my (then) parter of 10yrs. I was already on BC before we met, so I never met him without hormonal dysbalance. I don’t know if we would have pushed through if we didn’t have other huge problems, but in the last 2yrs of our relationship we had maybe sex 3x/yr and we both were really frustrated. Being physical with him felt like a chore.
I think there are ways to build up attraction in news ways, but probably won’t ever feel as natural.
Well, I literally just made the same post having this concern as the guy 4 hours after you. From what i’ve seen, it’s an unfortunate thing you just have to accept.
How long has it been since you came off? Sometimes ppls hormones balance within 3 months and they return to normal.