So recently I’ve noticed that sometimes humor is based on someone being judgmental or not having an open mind and not understanding why someone would be that way. I feel like I’m super boring because I always give people the benefit of the doubt and I like to keep an open mind and be accepting so unless someone else is around my first reaction might not be to laugh along. I like this quality but it also makes me kind of too serious and awkward and I don’t want to make people think I’m trying to be morally superior or something when it doesn’t strike me as funny. I think I often see things in too serious of a light.
For example, if someone is telling a story and talks about how weird this person they met looked or acted but they tell the story in a funny way. Most people just seem to laugh but i don’t have that reaction naturally.
I guess I’m just wondering, can I stay true to myself without being a party pooper? I usually just laugh and play along, but how would you respond? How do you lighten up and be less serious?
1 comment
We’re somewhat similar. My own mother repetitively told me as a kid that I can’t take a joke and when the joke hurt me I was oversensitive. Weird considering I’ve made people laugh and even laugh at myself, while she blames herself for a mistake other people don’t blame her for because it was bound to happen given the circumstances, then ignore our effort and/or tips to help her not take emotional damage from regret.
As for laughing at how someone looked or acted…i can’t tell from your post the exact example you’re thinking of, but sometimes people seem to laugh at the same thing but they’re not.
Like, in an impersonation, someone could be laughing at the person impersonated, but someone else could be laughing at how delightfully accurate the impersonation is, even surfacing things they didn’t consciously notice but realized, *oh yeah, our friend does talk/behave like that!! Oh my god, youre right, i didn’t notice it before, and that acting is perfect!!* or, they could be laughing at the impersonator *how do you make that face and not feel embarrassed? I wish i had your confidence*
Of course, not everyone is okay with being impersonated, so even if they’re laughing at the impersonation and don’t think there’s anything wrong with the imitated mannerisms, there’s still a choice of when one stops laughing: immediately, depending on body language, after a socially acceptable period of time, or as long as it’s funny to them.
Someone might laugh at a mental illness or disability meme not because of *haha, you weird*, but because the memer perfectly captured an irony or relatable situation the one laughing knew all too well, but is surrounded by people who don’t understand or only understand up to a level of sympathy, whereas with the memer, they feel seen and feel no need to pretend or explain or keep someone from feeling bad or awkward for their experience.
I mean, I find a rice cooker basin, an inanimate object looking animate, floating on a wet counter funny. There’s really no more reason to it that there is laughing at the accuracy or surprisingness of an impersonation. Or at the impersonator’s lack of care how they look imitating someone.
Still, knowing this won’t suddenly make it funny if it wasn’t before. It could be learned, I think I learned it accidentally, but it’s not necessary, and not worth feeling broken over like how I was made to feel as a kid.
I think as long as your friends don’t force you to laugh and just consider your sensitivity a quirk, you don’t have to change anything about the situation. Idk what to do if they don’t consider it as a quirk they’re fond of though, I can be pretty avoidant.