I (25F) have tried multiple times to get my license but i keep failing the exam, i decided to at least take a long break from it because it has taken a toll on my mental health. I will keep trying from time to time in the future but not be pre occupied with it anymore. The thing is, i am talking to someone who has a car and can drive, and i just feel bad i can’t. I never have asked for rides because the bike road system in my country is everywhere and i always bike, or i take the bus. But i just feel i still have to compensate for not having a license. What can i do, any thoughts? Or am i overthinking it? I don’t know just want some advice… thanks!
Tl;dr: Although i won’t ask for rides, how can i compensate for it, if my partner can drive and i can’t?
6 comments
You’re overthinking, I’ve dated many people that can’t drive and will happily drop them home and pick them up for dates. I’d say suggest making your own way to places if you’re both coming from your own homes as opposed to expecting he should pick you up every time and if he wants to still pick you up then fine. I don’t mind someone not having a car/license but just don’t act like I’m your chauffeur
Practice now and learn to drive.
I know lots of people who don’t drive. It’s such a non issue to me, a driver. Go learn something different for a bit that you love
You’re overthinking. In this day and age, there are many alternatives. Plus, if you live in a city with good public transportation, I find it preferable to driving, where you have to deal with parking, etc.
I’m 38 and I don’t have a licence behind my learner’s permit. I’ve driven many times and had stacks of lessons, but I just don’t believe I’m a safe driver. I have OCD that gives me huge anxiety — and there’s enough twits on the road. It’s better that I don’t rather than add to the bad drivers out there.
It’s a non-issue. I know how to get myself around with public transport, I can pay for a taxi in an emergency, and I walk to most places that are nearby. My partner is fine with being the driver as it’s only utilised on weekends, the rest of the time I get myself around. Those in a partnership don’t always bring exactly the same thing to the table, they work as a team. I handled the dinners, childcare and all the school meetings/extracurriculars when our kids were small and my partner worked — neither felt this was uneven because we were both providing for our family in different ways.
Don’t over think it. It’s not a problem unless your partner makes it a problem, and then you can negotiate how to make it less so. If someone won’t date you because you don’t drive, that’s their loss.
Offer to chip in for petrol, but honestly, it won’t matter to the other person you are seeing if they really like you.
🙂 I took a few years to pass my test, with a long hiatus in between failed tests due to demoralisation. I was your age too. You’ll get there.