It’s not as if he’s incapable of being affectionate. He is towards me. He’s also caring towards his sister. But he is almost indifferent towards other members of his immediate family.
He says he’s there for them when they need support, and he says he loves them but doesn’t feel the need to actually be loving towards them beyond this.
His parents divorced when he was young and had a very unhappy marriage. I wonder if this is the reason for the detachment or indifference. Also, this doesn’t explain his attitude towards his brother.
How can I encourage him to build a closer bond with his family?
TLDR: My boyfriend isn’t loving towards his brother and parents, and I want to know how I can support him in building a closer bond with them.
5 comments
That’s none of your business, to be honest. So mind your own business and back off. He can treat his own family however he sees fit.
As someone whose partner pushed me to let my parents be more involved in my life, don’t do this. You’ll likely come to regret it. My wife almost left me because of how demanding and pushy they could be and I was just trying to do what she said – include them more in my life.
He has his reasons. Maybe he knows what they are and maybe it’s a subconscious thing. What you need to remember is that it’s HIS family, not yours. He didn’t grow up with your sense of family or family closeness so don’t try to force how your family raised you onto him.
Accept his relationship with them as it is. Trust me, you’ll all be happier in the long run.
Stay out of it any encouragement would discourage him to want to be with you. Its none of your business and it very unattractive to try to change someone.
You need to butt out. It’s none of your business and you didn’t live his life, so you don’t get a say. If you push this, your bf may decide that you’re not worth it either
Why is it important for you to encourage it? Just because he doesn’t show the love in a way you see fit doesn’t mean it’s not there. He just does it in his own way. I’m just having a problem understanding why you have a problem with this. What if you do push him into being more involved with his family. Then in turn they decide they aren’t a fan of you and cause major problems in your relationship? Or he could end up with a mental breakdown from a trama he tried to hide? I mean there’s a reason for the disconnect. I wouldn’t mingle in something you’re not to sure of. Leave it alone.