Hi, I’m 24F, seeing a 29M. I am very new to dating. We met on an app, and have been on two dates so far. Each date was at a casual bar, quiet enough for us to talk and relax. The first date he kissed me, we got handsy, he indicated he wanted me to go down on him and I said no, he backed off. We then cuddled and he kept giving me forehead kisses (???) before we ended the night. Second date, we did another casual bar, few drinks, went back to his place. Talked a bit, started kissing, got handsy. I told him I think we’re moving too fast and he said we don’t have to do anything I didn’t want. Well, I ended up going down on him by my own choice but I wasn’t ready to receive it back from him just because I’m more guarded on that. We kissed a few times after and he kept giving me forehead kisses even on the second date. I asked him if he was seeing anyone else, only because I’m concerned since we’re getting intimate. He said no. He’s such a bad texter, texting me back hours later or the day after because he likes to stay off his phone and something just doesn’t seem right. When I left on vacation however, he was the one checking in on me and wondering how my trip was. Even then, delayed responses.
I’m also not sure if this is a hookup thing or if he’s even into me at this point looking for a relationship. Physically seems like we’re very compatible. When we go out he’s very casual, walks next to me but doesn’t hold my hand or anything. And I know it’s the second date but when we’ve gotten so intimate so soon I’d assume at least he would hold my hand. But he seems more passionate towards me when we’re alone, with the way he plays with my hair or kisses my forehead. Or looks at me in that way. Idk if this is his way to make me give in more to hooking up with him? Or if I’m being way too cautious in my own head. When and how should I ask him what he’s looking for with me? How do I figure this out, I’d like to get to know him better.
7 comments
He’s just using you for potential convenient sex. Date other people
Doesn’t sound like he is serious at all, just looking for the occasional fling.
V likely he’s a player
How can you already be serious and fully committed after 2 dates? Sounds like needy behaviour if you need to know if it is serious after 2 dates
You should have asked him this before going on the first date
The forehead kisses you mention after establishing boundaries seem kinda weird. Even though he says he wants to respect your desire to go slow, he is kinda punishing you by predominantly forehead kisses. Not a good sign.
Hello there,
I work as a professional matchmaker and to me, it sounds like it’s a sexual thing. What I have noticed about my male clients who really like someone is that they will make an effort to impress her with the date location. I can understand the date being at a bar for the first date to feel out the chemistry, but a second time.. hmm… that doesn’t sit right with me. The second thing I noticed is that he is behaving carefree and being too forward too soon. Usually, when a man is into a woman and wants to pursue something serious, he will try to avoid behaving in a way that could potentially hinder the connection. In this case, he seems like he just wants to have a good time and based on his behavior he does not care if you stop talking to him. Also, the delayed text is another bad sign because if he liked you he would be excited to text you. Pretty much, men who are highly interested in women want to keep the momentum going in everyway possible.