Not saying I’m Brad Pitt or anything on that level, but my whole life I have been told by people that I’m a good looking guy and could model, etc. And now that I think about it, I genuinely think some dudes have treated me poorly solely out of jealousy of my looks. I think some dudes just assume that if you’re good looking then you’re getting all the girls and the things they want in life, when in reality it’s not that simple a lot of the time. Being good looking helps in some ways for sure but I find some people deep down just assume you’re dumb but have it easy because of your looks and so they just have spite against you just because of that assumption. It’s kind of a blessing and a curse I think, especially when you’re a really good looking guy. Like I think the sweet spot is being just good looking enough but not too much. What do you guys think?

49 comments

  3. I’m not attractive at all but I notice that I get a lot more social interaction when I dress nice, have a decent hair cut, and shave the peach fuzz off my face .

  4. My Bro in law is a Clooney Travolta, for 20 years the bill was always set in front of him, every time, because he looked so successful, and he was. we dated sisters, both equally Hollywood pretty with the star potential, one made it, and we went to lots of nice places. We met in Beverly Hills, CA, and hit all the spots, and lived there. Never once the bill set in front of me, looks matter. Now we live in Florida, but now they put it between us, but even though it took the last 20 years. But still, it is never put in front of me. The middle is the best we have seen.

  5. That little inner dialog you just laid out, often your body language is saying it out loud. People don’t like that.

    I’m an attractive guy. Attractiveness is overrated. Some girls might have a minimum, but the guy who’s not quite as hot … but very funny, very cool, sings and plays an instrument, is well connected, outgoing, who knows what, all or any of those other “things” a given girl might want can still run circles around you. And they know it. They’re probably not as jealous as you think.

    Not everybody is going to like you at first, that’s just people. If you’re cool you can talk to them a while and rectify that.

  6. I mean, my life has definitely been easier as a good looking guy. I don’t think any dudes have ever treated me worse for it, but women have definitely treated me better for it.

    I guess I’m not so good looking anyone ever thought I was stupid though lol

  7. Yeah, best to be in the middle I think. Jealousy is a horrible thing. Only bright spot about being stunningly good looking is the fact that if you live long enough you’ll get old. Then everyone will start ignoring ya. No jealousy, no nothing. Carry on with your bad self! And enjoy your youth.

  8. Sure. You might have it easier than others. Some people get dealt a really good hand. Most people don’t. It’s unfair, and it’s natural to be frustrated by it. But that’s life.

  9. Pretty privilege has always been a thing.

    If someone cuts me off in traffic and I find out it’s a cute chick, I will soften.

    If I’m at a retail store and there’s a cute service person, I’m gonna act like I need help when I don’t.

    It’s just how it works. We’re kinder to good looking people.

  11. It’s a completely different world for attractive men. Truly, no part of the dating experience is the same.

    Treated better by everyone, any person is available to you, everywhere you go becomes an adventure. You get to have your pick of anyone you want, and choose the terms of each relationship. You don’t have to compete. You basically get the full idea of what the romance movies are like as the main character.

    People are nicer to you. You get the benefit of the doubt easily. People go out of their way to help you. Compliments every day. Numbers given every day. It’s genuinely like playing a video game with mods turned on lol

  14. If you’re hot and charismatic, no one will think you’re stupid.

    If you’re hot and stoic, people will 100% think your stupid.

    Don’t want to be regarded as stupid? Don’t be stoic.

  16. I’m good looking. Average men have always been jealous of me. And women that have commenced aging, starts around 22 for most, hate me because I don’t give them the time of day. It’s a lonely world. Wouldn’t change it for the world.

    I’ve never needed to expend energy pursuing a single girl. And I’ve never been dumped. When people like me, they crazily do so. When they hate me, it makes me feel sorry for them as their faces get uglier. I’m also talll, smart and well paid, so it’s a really brutal pill to swallow for normal people.

  17. Depends how high on the attractiveness scale you are.
    And trust me, as an average good looking guy the difference to top 0.1% percentile is exponential.

  18. I can only go off being an ugly guy and the way I get treated.

    Men: A lot get an ego boost because they have things that I don’t, a few guys won’t care but quite a lot will just be condescending and act like they are better than you, especially when it comes to relationships.

    Women: Will out right crap on you, will be a lot colder. A lot will not even see me as a man therefore they give 0 respect. Anything that I do wrong will be treated more harshly.

    The things I’ve seen good looking men/woman get away with is absolutely insane.

    The worst part is you’re supposed to pretend you’re completely fine with people treating you like trash, or in some cases people will just out right say I’m unattractive for even mentioning being ugly has effected me…….like no shit I was ugly to these before I spoke lmao

    I would give my left nut, kidney and left eye ball just to be attractive in people’s eyes honestly.

  19. I can’t explain why but “I’m not saying I’m Brad Pitt but I could definitely model” is super hilarious to me and I’m just picturing someone making Zoolander sexy faces at the screen while they type this.

  20. Lower intelligence, less education, lack of morals, promiscuity, laziness (thanks to “pretty privilege” opening all doors for me) and of course the assumption I must be good at basketball. Those are standard assumptions I’m frequently confronted with. The truth is the exact opposite. None of this would be such a problem if people (especially men) weren’t that hostile just because of my looks.

  21. Men don’t get treated differently, very slightly if at all. Women get the benefits if being attractive, men have to work for what they want

  24. Well if you’re good looking and have been single for a long time and friends/family have notice that, they will start to assume that you’re gay, especially the males but I guess that could be categorized as jealousy

  25. If I’m friends with a girl (never had romantic interest), their bf’s hate me. More likely than not, they’ve come to this conclusion before I’ve even met them.

  27. Honestly, women approach me regularly telling me that I look like a super hero in a movie.

    I didn’t always look like this, I used to be very malnourished and underweight. I was an addict. Then I got clean and gained a ton of fat. So then I was obese. Then I got a hold of my lifestyle choices and now I am in the best shape of my life.

    I can say this, no-one gave a rats ass about me when I was an addict tor overweight. My words didn’t have any value to anyone. No-one respected me.

    Now that I am in great shape, people ask my advice regularly, people respect me when I talk to them, im constantly being complimented. And people who would have never looked twice at me are exchanging information with me.

    ​

    Point is, life is much easier when you are attractive. People see how much you respect yourself and they respect you the same. Ive never gotten anyone throwing shade at me. But im also 6’5 and 250 pounds of muscle. So there might be some intimidation factor there.

  28. As a someone that’s been called good looking throughout life. I can sometimes sense jealousy over guys I’ve just met. It’s more prevalent if I’m conversing with someones spouse, but for the most part it hasn’t been a problem. But while pretty privilege is defnifely a thing if you lack self-confidence it almost feels like a curse. People want to talk to me, well, I’m introverted. Girls will sometimes approach me, well, I don’t have any game. People think I’m much better at things than I really am. Don’t get me wrong it’s nice that people think that, but I don’t like the attention nor do I have the self-confidence to really use it.

  29. They are deemed more capable, and to possess qualities and attributes that they don’t actually have, according to some weird tidbit of psych undergrad knowledge I have.

  30. Being good looking is a net bonus. The only downside really is that you need to really pick your women, because jealousy in a partner is only gonna get worse if you’re good looking enough to have women being friendly with you regularly.

  31. well i lost to a younf good looking six pack that treated her like a used tampon and I got left picking up the pieces. I was the one who loved her and supported her and he was just using her for sex and lying about it. Yet she kept trying to make it work just to get plowed and sent home after they fought again.

    Hot people only say it is a curse because they’ve never been ugly.

  32. Not me personally, sorta on the opposite end of the spectrum tbh, but a friend of mine is and his feelings on it can simply be summed up with “I just want to be left alone”. So, in that regard, he’s jealous of me, who nobody interacts with unless i do something first.

  33. Life is a lot easier up to a point. I think being a 7/8 is easier than being a 9/10 because people might treat the 9/10 as a “dumb blonde” because they’re too attractive.

    I’d say I’m a 7/8 and it is a level of attractiveness where people aren’t threatened by you but you also get to have the benefit of being charming to people.

    As far as how I’m treated – it definitely makes navigating the world a lot easier. People treat you more nicely, I think I’m taken more seriously, and a ton of other benefits.

  35. I’ve been friends with several very handsome men in my life. I mean guys who are in the top 20%.

    You know the life pua scammers tell you you can have if you’ll just pay $10,000 for their bootcamps? A life of picking up women everywhere, from bars to bookshops? Women approaching you in nightclubs? A life of multiple ons, threesomes, having your own harem?

    That’s the kind of life guys who are 8+ in looks live. And you will NEVER be a part of that world if you don’t have the looks. Doesn’t matter one bit about your wealth or your status or your personality.

  36. I’m gonna relate height to looks. I’m a moderately attractive, built male but im standing at 5’6 on a good day. One thing I’ve noticed is people in general metaphorically and literally look down on you. I’m for certain a lot of people see you as less masculine and less of a man. People stroke their egos by being taller and I consistently notice I’m just not as respected as other men less attractive but taller.

  37. Tbh people aren’t exactly jealous of you. Attraction is a great substitute for charisma and charm…you have no idea how long I’ve had to learn about shit I don’t care about just to get a usual interaction with stranger to not be nasty and negative. I’m even above average in looks so…I cannot imagine the sisophean task my average or even ugly brothers have to take on.

    I’m talking like at least 5 years and still regular practice…to have enough charm and charisma for me saying “hey hows it going” to not warrent a nasty reaction. You get that for free with a pretty enough face.

    I’m just saying…you’re not missing out on anything. People don’t like you because they see the years of effort and emotional pain they’ve had to put in to get a fraction of the treatment you were born with and likely never had to work for. It’s not right, but try not to take it personally. You’re getting 1% of the nastiness that these people got for like 90% of their lives.

  38. i have friends that are highly attractive. it became so easy to figure out who was and wasn’t based on who got attention, and we all had a running list of who was attractive in order from it.

    the thing with attractive people in general, is that there’s something called the Halo effect. they’re assumed they’re nicer, kinder, and smarter because they are attractive. the barrier to meeting expectations is actually lower. Jealousy might come into play, but that generally just happens when both people are competing for the same person. and being attractive is just a flat out competitive advantage in selection of people.

    now there is a difference between the hot guy in a competitive careers and stable life vs the hot guy who’s life is a mess. being physically attractive isn’t the be all / end all and there still has to be substance to you as a person. and for people that aren’t in the attractive box, the simple thing is you have to try harder, pair that with constant failure and you get less and less confident which then lowers your attractiveness in a negative death spiral or people give up on you. The hot guy who’s life is a mess might be given more chances to fix their errors.

  40. I am not that attractive but I know I am decent looking. Because I do get positive interactions with women in person and on dating sites.

    There will always be people that dislike you for whatever perception of advantage you have in life.

    If you seem confident then that’s a knock on you. You are judged to be more attractive they aren’t going to like it. It’s just how it works. Nothing you can do

  41. >…but my whole life I have been told by people that I’m a good looking guy and could model, etc.

    I’m in the exact same boat as you, and I’ve even had complete strangers on the street come up to tell me. However, while I’ve never considered myself to be “ugly”, I’ve never understood why I receive such compliments to begin with, since women have never really shown me much interest.

    I can’t say I’ve ever been treated any differently. I’ve always felt my interactions with people were pretty normal. Then again, I wouldn’t necessarily know what the difference is.

  42. I’m not especially good looking but when I was 100+ pounds heavier I was definitely treated noticeably worse. But also, I was less confident so I can’t guarantee that it was looks alone.

  43. Good different: people are generally nicer and it’s very easy to land a job, even those you are unqualified for.

    Bad different: people assume you’re a fuckboi, you get groped by older women and gay men in public (especially if you have a noticeably good physique) and are seen as a “trophy fuck” to most women and dating becomes very difficult as a result.

  44. it depends. if you’re good looking and a dick or just not very socially adjusted people could percieve you as cocky and snobby so they might not like you.

    If you’re good looking and socially adjusted then people will love to be around you because you’re nice and attractive.

  45. Not super attractive, but I was very fit for years until covid hit, fattened up to 320 lbs from 220 over 3 years and am back down to 240 now. I saw the difference in the way people treated me dramatically. People stopped smiling at me when I saw them, people wouldn’t randomly say hello anymore, starting conversations with people was more difficult and my sales for my business went down (could have been due to covid).

    Now that I’m losing and becoming more fit again, people are noticing me more. It’s a benefit I never would have noticed had I not had that spike and man do I realize that privilege of being 6’4″ and in shape with a decent facial structure. I would never have even thought of this shit before.

  46. Well, being attractive grants you a lot of privileges that aren’t given to everyone else. Of course people are going to be jealous. You have a massive advantage that is a product of your genetics and didn’t have to work for. Life is inherently unfair.

  47. Of course they get treated differently.. people have a lot more respect for men who are attractive, but also men who are charismatic or commandeering, because people have blind spots and those sorts of attributes in a man can play to people’s biases.. it’s why cult leaders are often all those things.. the flip side of that is that you are viewed as competition, both in terms of attracting a mate but also in other social contexts.. for example, people are more likely to listen to the sales guy who can capture the room vs the technical expert that gets bogged down into details.. it’s a continuation of the “shut up nerd/creep” reflex that so many people have seen since their childhood.. the cute/handsome kids are more likely to be favoured by teachers and their classmates.. they’re more likely to be confident as they haven’t been dismissed and excluded and shamed for the way they look.. so having constantly seen examples of that, whether through school, the media, politics, or life in general, some guys may assume that your good looks are doing a lot of the heavy lifting to get you where you are.. and that stereotype can turn into jealousy and resentment in some.. of course that isn’t really fair since (a) someone can be good looking and also intelligent and kind and what have you, and (b) you shouldn’t judge someone by looks alone – you have no idea about their mental health struggles or other barriers to success in their life and (c) a lot of guys use that sort of rhetoric as a cope for why they’re not doing so well, forgetting all their own character flaws that are compounding their issues, just looking to blame someone else

    All of these perceptions depend on environment as well.. if you grew up in a nice environment where people weren’t so bitchy to you about your looks, you’re less likely to harbor negative feelings to men who are attractive.. similarly if you work in a very technical or science based work environment, you’re less likely to be worried about attractive men because the environment you’re in means they have less of an advantage and you can trust your colleagues to see through bullshit..

    It’s not nice to be treated like you are undeserving of your piece in life just because you have a trait that is sometimes advantageous.. but i think that anonymity is driven by real discrimination that less attractive people actually face.. as an attractive person you may need to do a bit of extra work to convince your peers that you’re genuine/decent/intelligent etc, but unattractive men often need to do extra work to prove they’re not creepy, that they’re not trying to get in a woman’s pants, and to project their positive traits loud enough and clear enough so that people can see past the fact they’re ugly, and on top of that deal with the aftermath of years of being rejected and dismissed by others.. none of it is fair, but it all comes down to humans sucking

  48. I was considered ugly until around 17.

    From 17 until 24 i looked my best. I had a couple of girlfriends, more attention from women, people’s mom’s would comment saying I was cute. Cashiers complimented me to my girlfriend. Overall popular, and people sometimes made comments (though not super often) that implied I was objectively attractive. Someone once even said I looked like I was in a boy band.
    One girl told a friend that she’d leave her boyfriend for me (!??)

    From 25 onwards, my looks really faded. Stress, weight gain, unhealthy living and thinning hair. I rarely get compliments now, pretty invisible in public and overall things are just…neutral. While I wasn’t some player with women (far from it), I at least felt like I had a decent chance of them finding me attractive. Now, my default is the opposite end and I’m trying to get back to where I was physically.

  49. I’m my opinion, being “unattractive”, has many facets, physical appearance, confidence, intellect, humor, etc. Same for “attractive”. However, we visual see physical appearance first, thus, making the other person almost instantly determine how much time to allow with us. If physical appearance is “average”, then intellect and/or humor has to be over indexed in this capacity. It’s the world.

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