You have 3 wishes. They can only be used for evil. What are they?

48 comments

  2. -Give everybody cancer.

    -Super Hitler is born.

    -Skip world war 3 and go straight to 5

    Edit: spelling and grammar

  3. Kill my boss slowly and painfully, kill the boss of my boss very slowly and extremly painfull, extend my supremacy in the company i work for to get fired the 2 boss before they get to die and watch them die slowly

  4. Britain sinks as if it was a ship (tho scotting and welsh escape to ireland)

    The great replacement theory is real and i get to sit by the side of all the european far right who knew it wasnt to see their faces as they watch it.

    For a day everyone gets what they desire to others.

  6. Everybody can read monds but only of people that think in a language they don’t understand.

    Arabic speaking people shall now all talk and sound like Borat

    Everyone’s favorite foods will now be their own allergies (for example you like steak? Can’t have it anymore)

  7. * Women are no longer allowed to wear clothing, unless there’s a vote among the men in their county and it’s decided that they’re too ugly to be naked.

    * Farts are only allowed to be released within 6 inches of someone else’s face. Anything required to make that happen is 100% legal.

    * Pizza ceases to exist and is unable to come into existance again.

  8. Wish 1: Make all women fall in love with me. Wish 2: Have unlimited money to buy whatever I want. Wish 3: Control the weather so I can ruin everyone’s plans whenever I feel like it.

  10. 1. I get a death note

    2. All conservatives are banished to a deserted island and can not leave

    3. I gain a superpower or fantastical ability of my choosing every time I kill someone

  11. Eliminate every single religious extremist on this earth

    Eliminate every single pedophile or anyone who has watched child porn deliberately

    Eliminate every single Just Stop Oil protestor

  12. Magic doorways, randomly they lower (without being able to notice) as you walk through them causing you to crack your head when you walk through. (No one is exempt)

    In every town a mysterious glass hole appears that you can look into. Engraved around the hole it says “do not look through”
    If you do the second you are alone or out of sight from anyone or anything you will just fade away into nothingness, no afterlife just gone from existence.

    Killer snail, trailing around somewhere in the world is 1 unkillable, unstoppable, eternal snail that will eat humans. Once it has you there’s nothing you or anyone can do to stop it from consuming you, if it decides to eat you that’s it, your it’s target and it stops at nothing until it gets you, it can break down walls, squeeze through gaps, anything to get to who chooses. It chooses who it wants and can travel anywhere.

  13. 1. Make me the head of a huge international corporation. 2. Give me a massive slush fund. 3. Make it so I never get caught.

  14. Easy.

    All people who ever wronged me shall suffer unending consequences.

    All impatient drivers who tailgate will get their teeth kicked in when they go home.

    All molesters/assaulters shall get their genitalia dipped in molten metal and a giant hot glue gun oozing that burning hot goo down their throat, eyes, ears and nose

    😇

  15. Everyone’s beloved childhood icons come to life and then start beating people up

    A new law is passed under which grieving relatives must eat the body of the deceased or they collect no inheritance

    All the world’s most identifiable major monuments get relocated to a private beach that I own

  16. 1. All redditors are forced to ask good questions. This would cause all of them to lose their minds and their brains would explode like in the movie “Scanners”!

    2. Summoning the world ending meteorite.

    3. If God exists (he doesn’t) have him become human on earth and witness the earth’s destruction when the world ending meteorite arrives and wipes out everything especially him out. Right before it hits I’ll kick him in the crotch and deliver a “Stone Cold Stunner” to him!

  17. 1. People randomly change bodies with someone else in their vicinity. To keep the body, you need to kill your original body; to get back your own body, you need to commit suicide with the other’s body.

    2. People who tell an absolute truth are not able to be trusted by others, at least on that particular truth. If you discovered gravity, you wouldn’t be able to convince anyone, and people would even be convinced that gravity is a scam theory.

    3. Everyone has full knowledge, from birth, of the following: the previous 2 rules apply, and there exist some people unaffected by these rules. If you kill them, you inherit that trait and can pass it on to your offspring. That last fact is false, but no one is ever able to question it.

  18. * 1: make everyone in the world feel really guilty for something they can’t remember.

    * 2: make a voice tell all religious people, ” you follow a fake god, the real god is X ( another god to their own).

    * 3: make every pet forget their owners.

  19. 1 – becone evil demon overlords with no devine or earthly equal.

    2 – force humans to live underground

    3 – no one gets to eat chocolate.

  20. Every time someone fap they get the orgasm but the cum will come out of a random man anywhere in the world.

    Digested noodles will come out the butt in the same shape they were before eating them. Fully extended too.

    Every person in the world gets an extra finger but it won’t be placed in the hands

  21. Evil is subjective so

    Take all of musks money
    Make every violent criminal Thanos snapped
    Make everyone over 75 Thanos snapped

  22. -Castarte everyone with Khrone but not me and my beloveds

    -Unleash Papa Nurgle’s gifts to world but not me and my beloveds.

    -Agree with Tzeench to make other countries doom each other but not my country and my people.

    I love warhammer and fuck you Slanessh.

  23. 1. Ruin the weather when & wherever I wish.
    2. Make every ice cream cone held by a child break so the ice cream drops on the floor.
    3. Everyone had to listen to music of my choosing despite the setting.

  24. Scratching an itch is illegal and punishable by death

    Animals cuteness is directly proportional to their aggression, meaning a cute little kitten is regularly responsible for crimes against humanity and cockroaches are mans best friend

    It’s illegal to work in any job over the age of 18. Exchanging money with anyone over the age of 18 for services is similarly illegal and punishable by death

  25. 1- The oceans fills with thousands of agressively violent, folklorish sea monsters like the kraken, Moby Dick, etc.

    2- Tonberries from Final Fantasy inhabit all the dark places of lands, and roam (shuffle?) about openly at night.

    3- pidgeons are now the size of a large dog, and their shits are proportionally larger.

  26. First, I will wish to become an immortal, omniscient and omnipotent non-human deity. Second, I will wish to transform all present and future human beings into jellylike creatures that cannot die but can feel physical, psychological and emotional pain. Third, I will wish to make the mouths of all of these jellylike creatures disappear permanently. I will punish the former human race for all eternity. They have no mouths but must they must scream.

  27. Kill off every ultra conservative person, especially those in politics. Let people live how they want as long as they’re not hurting others.

    That’s, really, the only evil thing I could think of and it’s not really that evil as it’s for a good reason.

  28. I wish your asshole had taste buds.
    I wish your expenses always exceeded your earnings.
    I wish your favourite foods gave you the shits.

  30. 1. I wish that felons, present and future, would gain a superpower.
    2. I wish that every religion ultimately worshiped that religion’s version of the devil.
    3. I wish everyone had mild lower back pain that didn’t prevent them from still working, but just significantly lowered their quality of life.

  31. 1) Counting from now, smoking the 100th cigarette causes instant death

    2) Ghosting someone when dating will turn you into an actual ghost for the next 24 hours

    3) Self-driving cars will drive like a driver under influence if an affected person sits on the driver’s seat

  33. Every parking space is now 1 foot thinner, eveyones right hand is itchy, and everyonw has a stuffy nose

  34. Everyone has permanent explosive, combustible diarrhea.

    Car keys are always stuck between the couch seat cushions. But they aren’t the key owner’s couch.

    Only 1 drip of water is allowed per person to wash themselves with. And you can’t save it up each day so that you can accumulate it.

  35. Every water tower in the world is painted an awful color combination, half of everyone’s hair is shaved off, the Mississippi river flows the other way now.

  36. War.
    Famine.
    Disease.

    All on a global scale of course, there are no privileged people in my scenario. Everyone must suffer.

  37. I now own Yellowstone. This is evil because sometimes I will harass wildlife. People can still go there, though.

    The United States is now 5 horizontal strips divided by the ocean. The splitting of the continent will kill millions.

    All hamburgers are now free for me. This will damage the economy.

  38. Cancer vision, the power to give anyone I want cancer anywhere in their body by staring at it. The longer I stare, the worse the cancer.

    Zero-sum love, only so much love exists in the universe, falling in love means someone else falls out of it.

    Alexander Fleming retroactively never discovered penicillin.

  39. -I wish for the second Civil War
    -I wish for GTA 6 to never be released
    -I wish for anyone who I actively despise to be cursed to never succeed in life.

  40. 1. I wish I never get apprehended by law enforcement before, during, or after the commission of a crime.
    2. I wish that the only people who know about me committing any crime of any sort are the people I choose to know about it.
    3. I wish to have no negative or otherwise unfavorable consequences for crimes I commit for myself and those I care about.

  41. – Give my ex a conscience to realize what a terrible person she is and have a mental breakdown with that realization

    – Make my “family member” not be a POS and realize what a terrible person they are and have a mental breakdown with that realization

    – World War III

  42. Sterilize “Mean people” so they can’t pass on being an As*hole.

    Slow left lane driver’s car break down.

    Narcasistic people get bad luck.

  43. Evryone steps on lego pieces evry 10 minutes, its now impossible to put cerial before milk, evryone is now infertile and immortal forever

  44. Who determines it’s evil? I can think of several things that would be evil… but also benefits me.

    Like take all the money from the ten richest people and give it to me. That would be evil to the people I took from but not evil to me…

  46. I wish the South has seceded from America and formed the Confederate States of America and kept chattel slavery legal.

    I wish that Germany and the Axis powers had won WW2 taking over the whole of Europe and destroying communism in it’s infancy and bringing Africa under it’s control as well

    I wish that nuclear weapons has never been invented so that nations wouldn’t be as afraid to go to war.

    Those three wishes would change the world to a much darker and evil place.

  47. The worldwide banking system collapses and causes money to become worthless.

    A new strain of grain pops up and provides incredible fuel applications and grows in any environment basically ending the energy crisis globally but it’s mere existence poisons the area around it.

    All children born from now on have a 10% chance of becoming superior humans, faster, stronger, smarter, but if they fail to become one, upon maturity they become bloodthirsty and berserk.

  48. 1.) My past tormentors get slow painful cancer

    2.) People who gatekeep Wrestling and Metal music get slow painful cancer

    3.) Misogynists and misandrists who get involved in gender wars online get slow painful cancer

    Who says I’m resentful? Lol

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