How can men with no support system stay mentally strong? And get mentally stronger? How do you do it? Alone?

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  3. A whole lot of hope and discipline on what you do. Mental stuff is a lot like physical stuff in that way. You get stronger with time if you make that exercise. The problem usually comes when you lose your focus and discipline towards yourself and what you’re meant to do, especially if you don’t reclaim it pretty quickly and stick yourself in the lack of focus (physical comparison: Be sedentary. You lose your strength with time.)

  4. Find the strength to be vulnerable and look for community. It can be scary and it’s easier to go alone. But you don’t wanna be alone when the hard times come. All that stoicism shit, it’s cool. It’s nice. Definitely be hard when the time comes.

    But, and this comes from experience, there’s so much in the world that YOU CANNOT teach yourself. You have to experience people and experience life even in the small windows you are capable of taking them in. I’m a man that prefers solitude. I’d treat hanging with my friends like a chore.

    Come in good faith always. Practice good faith.

    There was a time 2.5 or more years ago where I was just in my room looking at 4 walls texting some girl I really didn’t care about, who really didn’t care about me, but I wanted to force to care about me lol.

    I would go to the gym, but I wouldn’t want anyone to talk to me. I went to BJJ and I missed so many opportunities to make lasting friendships because I just brushed everyone off after class.

    I was fit, I looked good, I had everything in my name. But I felt empty and made a lot of regrettable choices because of the desperation that comes from just latching on to anything that gave me false self worth. I found myself being just pissed off and out of touch- and no matter what convos I had I felt like I was debasing myself.

    But slowly I recognized my community and slowly recognized I was a man of worth, and people come to me for a reason. It just takes time to find your purpose. I found my worth.

  5. Iron sharpens iron. Go find some sort of primal and masculine activity that has a healthy community vibe. Strongman, Jiu Jitsu, climbing, hiking/mountaineering, hunting. Whatever. Countless things to try and get hooked on. But I don’t advocate to try and go at it alone.

    We’re social animals. Even introverts. My opinion, introverts aren’t anti-social, they (we) are only a lot more selective on who is in their circle.

  6. Reading good books helps you build a philosophy that works for you and makes you more resilient.

    Therapy is important, it makes you feel you’re not alone.

    Trying to forge friendships through online communities is somewhat helpful. I’m talking about small forums that focus on passions, not a toxic hell hole like reddit. Smaller, passion-focused forums tend to be more positive and less anti-social.

    Make small talk with many people you meet in the real world (cabbie, cashier etc.). If you do many positive interactions like this, you’ll be surprised how good they are for you mentally.

  7. Hate, discipline and pure fucking motivation to show all the worthless trash (who said i ll achieve nothing) their place. Its hard, sometimes it hurts but Its the only thing that kept me going for the last 6 years.

  9. Yes. A lot of it is alone.

    You can build a support system by offering the same support you need to other people, but ultimately, you have to do the work. Having friends who listen to you won’t make you more mentally resilient. Gotta do the reps yourself.

  10. Philosophy (mainly stoicism, but there’s also a lot of philosophy on strong masculinity that helps), exercise because “a healthy mind is in a healthy body”, meditation, self-improvement, self-reflection from a purely objective standpoint (so no feeling bad about your flaws or good about your strengths), planning your progress and practicing discipline in sticking to that plan, etc.

  11. Our church has multiple mens groups and a ton of guys available to talk, pray etc…
    My best mates for sure

  12. Meditation helped me get through some very rough times in my early 20s.

    I was going to school full time and working full time. Still lived at home, but mom had some real bad health stuff and my brother couldn’t find work (this was during the great recession). It was on me and only me to keep a roof over everyone’s head, and I wasn’t doing a great job at it; made minimum wage and we almost got evicted and sent to the Streets several times. It was a lot for a 20 year old. But meditation did an incredible amount at helping me keep it together. I just took things in stride. We’d be close to eviction and I would just start coming up with a plan about where Mom and brother could stay, but it was too far for me because of school, so I just matter-of-factly Drew up plans about how I could sleep in my car, get a 15$/month gym membership to shower and spend the rest of my time at work in class ot studying in the library. I didn’t stress it; I knew that I’d ultimately at least not die and be able to keep up with school, and family would be OK for a while. And that was enough for me. I don’t think I would have been able to handle it all if I weren’t seriously meditating for at least 30 minutes a day though, and really taking it seriously.

  13. Practicing gratefulness and kindness towards yourself every day. Treat yourself as the support structure you need.

  14. Try not to think about it and go on walks in nature. That helps me realize that none of this shit matters and we’re just a tiny life on a rock hurtling through space that we will never see, explore, or know. We will die without a universal (as in the “universe”) impact. The entire species. It will all end. So, enjoy the moment, because that’s all we have.

  15. Practice stoicism. Watch some videos about the teachings of the stoic philosophers. Epictetus and Marcus Aurelius are probably the most well known.

  17. I’m old(ish) and just took up MMA. I’ll never be a champion, I just do it because it helps me mentally as well as physically. I don’t think it’s just MMA though, any kind of training where you are with others and support each other in sport. Just an idea.

  18. Generally speaking there are two things that’ll probably be essential.

    1. A mental framework that promotes progress in the desired direction.

    2. Find a community of men to (re)connect with others.

    For some they turn to religion which is quite the dated meme but I guess its still somewhat useful, same goes for other ideas of spirituality, some will turn to some politically grounded group (like tradcons), some will turn towards visions of the future (e.g. the technocratic hyper-modern global societies), for others they can work best with just extensive knowledge of how the world works and what tools can be used to make the machine run in their favor (which usually means figuring out finance, economics, politics and/or sociology) and for others they find their purpose in arts or sports.

    Its really a matter of either knowing what of these suit you best of jumping into the cold water and try some of them on for size. Better now than later. But most important: None of these roads have any meaning unless you decide to walk. So you absolutely have to do something and “something” is for NOT doong what you have done so far as that led you to not be satisfied with how things have been going so far.

  19. I’m just stubborn and don’t care about much of anything. At a point it just rolls off my body. Very little I let bother me especially something out of my control

  20. Listen to the MFCEO podcast, and Real AF with Andy Frisella. David Goggins.

    I don’t agree with everything they say politically but from a motivational and business standpoint, they’re awesome.

  21. I once read a quote by Marcus Aurelius

    “If it’s endurable then endure it. Stop complaining.”

    That’s about it.

    It’s great that a lot of people have a support system, but I don’t think I need one.

    I have always used personal failures as a time to rebuild and I am constantly seeking improvement.

    I have loving parents but I don’t like to bother them with anything. Dealing with my own shit myself has just become a habit now.

  22. Put yourself in physically uncomfortable environments repeatedly and almost daily and create a routine of things that positively benefit you, like reading, learning another language, and / or an instrument.

    Cardio, weights, and / or yoga.
    Cold showers and / or sauna.
    Meditate and / or pray.

  24. By getting a good support system.

    There is no “mentally stronger”, there’s only trade off. You can develop superb self reliance and resilience, but that will come with poor empathic/ social skills, intimacy issues, or maybe even narcissism. Balance, my friend.

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