I had sex with my partner last night of 2 years, and he didn’t care about pleasuring me after he was finished. he knows I love and enjoy titty play so when he finished off, I asked him if he can continue to help me. he told me he gets bored sucking my tits all of the time, and I was really bothered by it. I felt like, used in a sense. like, he didn’t give a single fuck. he’s known this about me for a long time now that I need constant stimulation and my favorite thing is titty play.
I don’t know how to bring this up to him without making him feel like he’s a bad guy. he’s a sensitive dude so I don’t want to cause an argument over something small. he doesn’t really eat me out, and never has tried or asked to do it. I stopped giving him head a long time ago because, it sucked that I was breaking my back to make sure he feels good and doing all of these uncomfortable positions that doesn’t even feel good to me that I found on porn, just for his viewing. a lot of people think he’s fucking dumb and blindsided because, I am not an ugly girl. how can I bring this up to him?
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Sounds a little like he’s getting some free use out of you. It has to go both ways. There is a lot of room for improvement but he has to be willing to put in some work.
If he’s a sensitive guy, he should understand how his shitty comment made you feel. I’m not sure how you bring it up to him. Honestly, though, if he doesn’t care about getting you off, he doesn’t offer to go down on you; you need a new boyfriend.
He’s an asshole. You’re too worried about his feeling when he shows no consideration for yours.
People are stupid. They always seem to need stuff spelled out to them with analogies about themselves. So ask him how he would feel if you came during sex then just called it quits and bemoaned about having to finish him when you’re already done and it’s boring now?
It’s a really shitty thing to do to someone. Get another person all primed and excited, then just quit in the middle of it. Even worse that he’s quitting because he got his. Very selfish.
The core issue, in situations like this, usually tends to be about the man’s refractory period, and how the guy chooses to handle that, which speaks to how intelligent and considerate he is.
The long and short of it is that some men have relatively long and powerful refractory periods, post-orgasm. They go from being intensely interested in sex, and very horny, to being completely turned off, and disinterested in sexual activity. This isn’t really a choice they’re making, it’s just a hormonal switch, and it gets flicked by their orgasm, like a light bulb.
If you’re this kind of guy, and you *know* you’re this kind of guy, because it happens every single time you orgasm, you tend to try to plan around this, so that your partners still feel like they’re having great sex with you. This is the rationale behind philosophies like, “She cums first”. You direct your sexual energy into pleasuring the woman, maybe *multiple times*, *before* you orgasm, because you know what’s going to happen after you do, and you know you only have all this sexual energy and creativity to work with *before* you cum, and that turns into something that’s totally mechanical afterwards.
The guy you’re with is either dumb, or inconsiderate. He definitely can’t control how genuinely bored and disinterested he is in sex post-orgasm, but he knows that’s how sex works, because he’s been having sex with you for 2 years, and he’s choosing not to do anything to fix that… because he’s either dumb or inconsiderate. He *is* the bad guy, he can choose to resolve this issue (at least most of the time), but he has to understand that he should deliberately choose to do it *before* he cums, and not after, or he’s just not going to satisfy his partner.
Feel free to show him exactly this comment, but I’m sure he already knows all this information, he’s just.. say it with me this time: dumb or inconsiderate.
Being sensitive does not justify being a douchebag that doesnt want to put effort the moment hes done only because he “gets bored” doing things that please YOU and doesnt please him.
The whole “Hes sensitive what do I do?” Is just enabling such behavior because you make them think its okay by not saying “This is just wrong”
Instead of playing the blame game or listening to people’s bais opinion,
Think how u can better communicate or lead him/ get him excited to participate in your desires. And if you do the same
Sounds like this scenario seems transactional, which can take away from the autonomy, mastery, purpose of the whole reason one or both of you are drawn to this activity in the first place.
More communication, and self reflection. Blame game won’t solve the issue, neither will starting this entire process to end up at the same place with another. Due to you having the same behavior/attitude/mindset, will naturally lead you to the same result
I would suggest an open and frank discussion about your desires. Literally tell him that you don’t enjoy giving him blowjobs and trying new things because you feel that it’s unreciprocated. Ask if he’d be willing to be more interested in your sexual desires if you were willing to do the same.
What a shame to hear that’s cause I mean he probably hitting a a side chic it’s weird
Have you enjoyed giving him pleasure via HJ BJ talking and touching??.. he might not feel reciprocated
Bored of sucking on tits. That’s a new one.
Break up with him. Don’t settle for someone who doesn’t want to make you feel good during sex.
All I can say is he must be a total waste of space
Tell your bf that you are going to give him a short course on pleasuring you. A fail or refusal to participate will result in a termination of the relationship. Life is too short to waste it on such a loser.
You might want to tell him you want to have your orgasm first. It’ll be easier for him to be into it if he didn’t already cum. As he’s sucking, nibbling and feeling your nipples and tittys talk to him. Tell him how wet HE makes you by doing this. Build him up a little telling him you are thinking of him cumming in or on you as you are cumming. This should turn him on and make him WANT to do this. When he’s done he can just roll over because you got yours. I just got hard as fuck written this so I’m sure it will work.😏
The lady always cums first. It’s the law.
One “off” night is not a big deal. But sounds like there’s more history here.
Don’t be worried about the sensitivity of a guy who would say to you he “gets bored sucking your tits”
Maybe leave him..he sounds not that great. Even beyond the sexual aspect. Sounds like he has problems communicating if he is deemed “sensitive” to the point that things cant be brought up. We dont stand for a lack of communication here.
This is a tough one. If this was a rare or one time thing, I wouldn’t say shit. But his words that performing the sex act you most enjoy is boring foretells of possible future problems.
I once had a boyfriend who in a 1.5 year relationship went down on me twice, total, for about 1 min each time. He was also quite sensitive and really quite awkward about sex in general, it was quite a strange situation as we got on so well personality-wise. I feel like he had some hang-ups about sex. He just didn’t seem to care about my pleasure but it wasn’t in a vindictive or purposeful way, he was just oblivious and awkward. He wouldn’t even have noticed me not giving him blow jobs. He just didn’t care that much. Anyway my point is they’re probably not going to change and don’t stick around as long as I did because you’re not sexually compatible.
Damn, i don’t understand this men not going down on their partner business. i’d eat her every day if she’d let me. Making me jealous
Dump him. Can’t be with someone you have to ENCOURAGE to please you? Hell no. That’s his problem. Now, move on.
What exactly are you getting besides penetration?
Here’s what I understand.
1. No oral
2. Doesn’t like titty play
3. Finishes before you.
4. What about hands? Fingering?
Most women take a little longer than guys and if a guy is concerned abt you in the bedroom, then he will start firing you up first. Of course you give him enjoyment back but it helps (at least me) get there about the same time as him, then.
I’ll be bold here. If I’m finishing myself, then why am I having sex to begin with?
Like, just plain sex, no extras, and he’s done, goodnight? That’s not gonna fly in a long term relationship, your going to become unsatisfied and searching for more.
The way he acted has me thinking you come across more as an object than him caring about your experience as well.
I apologize, but I wouldn’t waste time bringing it up to him. I’d go and find someone who likes REAL mutual play. Not just, from what I understand, all for him and nothing for you. That’s just absolutely no fair to you and certainly not loving and caring. 😪😪😪
You have to just talk to him about it. The longer you wait, the more difficult it’s going to be to discuss, and possibly resentment will set in. Don’t have to talk right after the moment, but the sooner the better. If you can’t talk, your not going to have much of a relationship.
The best sec includes kindness. It’s an exchange. But you know this!
Maybe try a girl and see if that works better for you?
All these comments reminds me of people who don’t like honesty. I guess they want him to lie to his partner or do things he’s not interested in doing sexually while putting him down and making fun of him… got it.
I could see this going real well if the roles were reversed. 🤦
I find that in situations like this it is always best to tell the other how you feel about an issue right away. You could have told him, “well that’s inconsiderate of you, you know I need this to climax. Why would you use me like that? “
Because now he’s in the spotlight that he should be in. He needs to explain himself and if they explanation isn’t good enough (and it’s been 2 years so it probably won’t be), you’ll know how to move forward from that.
He either changes and you guys figure out a new solution, or he doesn’t get to have you at all.
Sex is good
This boyfriend doesn’t know how lucky he is
New boyfriend time.
Sounds like you just need to be open and honest. Don’t go into it looking to fight. Start of calm and bring up how your feeling. In our bedroom it’s always women comes first then I feel satisfied and then it’s my turn. I don’t feel like the “work” is done until my wife has cum. It should be a time where both parties are reciprocating and engaging together and equal amounts of time and attention
He’s a sensitive guy or egotistical and narcissistic? Is he the type to fuck up and then Turn it around on you because just by his comment he doesn’t seem like the good type of sensitive and seems like the douchebag I’ll cheat on you type of sensitive
He needs to stop being a selfish prick and understand its a 2 way street.
The guy sounds boring as fuck in the sack, time to get rid and find someone who will go deep diving into your pussy.
The number one rule in the bedroom for a man that loves and wants to please his woman is………………………………..
SHE CUMS FIRST!
That’s the most satisfying thing for my during sex is to watch and please her. 🌮💦😋
Sounds like my bf….
Dump him…it will only get worse. A man who doesn’t care about your pleasure is NOT worth the headache! If he can’t suck your tits, eat your pussy until you cry or anything else that’s pleasurable to you in bed, he DOES NOT LOVE or CARE about you! PERIOD !!! Stop WASTING TIME with these ZEROS, lady. Good luck and wishing you the very best.
P.S. There are men out there who totally get off on making women happy and pleasuring a woman until she can’t take it anymore…find that dude
And NO amount of talking will help. He’s a selfish asshole of a lover and men like that can NOT be negotiated with. Find someone who literally WORSHIPS you. My friend tried to “work” on her relationship and she ended up settling for someone who treats her like an indentured servant instead of an equal partner. When men show you what time it is, believe it cuz ain’t no way I’m dealing with that! And you’re not married to him…what’s the point of being together.., girl DUMP and do NOT look back EVER!!
Break up with him and find someone who WANTS to make you feel good. They’re out there for sure x