I (24M) found out my gf (21F) cheated on me a year and a half ago
I (24M) found some messages between my gf (21F) and one of her male friends. We have been together for about 2 and a half years. We were long distance for the majority of the time. She was living in CA and I was in TX, until December of 2022 when she moved to TX so we could live together.
The other day, I asked to use her laptop so that way I could use it for my current side hustle since I didn’t want to do everything from my phone. While I was using it, something told me to look through her messages. I’m not the type to go through her phone or socials because I trust her, but my gut told me to just look.
As I was going through the messages, I saw one of her male friends names who she used to hang out with a lot and started to snoop. As I was scrolling I saw their older messages from early last year that went something like this.
Guy: Did you want more to happen? Be honest lol
GF: I thought it would but I’m still kind of anxious so I think it’s best that nothing more did happen
Guy: Promise you, no reason to be anxious on my end đ
GF: Good to know but it was my fault so I do apologize for any confusion or misleading. I couldn’t control myself and I should’ve been more respectful
Guy: Wasn’t any confusion or misleading. I wanted to kiss you so bad. Tbh I really wanna fuck you. Not trying to be disrespectful or anything, just being honest.
GF: Again, l’m sorry for what I did
Guy: It’s okay. I still had a great time with you.
GF: I also had a great time with you đ
A couple weeks later, he even states how he misses seeing her, and how one day when they were hanging out with their mutual friends, that he couldn’t take his eyes off her and how he was “thinking things” and wanted to be touchy with her and how cute she looked. Even more messages asking to hang out just a few weeks following what happened.
I went to the messages between me and my gf for the dates they hung out and each time she never mentioned him. She lied and said that she would be hanging out with her female friends from work. I was working night shift during this time and the signal at my job wasn’t the greatest, so although we share locations, I never bothered to check because I trusted her.
Not to mention, whenever I went to visit her in CA, she even tried to get him to meet up with us. She actually had the audacity to try to plan something with the three of us, knowing good and well what she did.
Not once did she ever mention what happened between them for a year and a half. When I confronted her, she said she didn’t plan on saying anything either because all they did was kiss, and I’m not even sure if I should trust what she says considering she was willing to keep it a secret for so long.
We are currently staying with my parents while we find a new place, since there was an incident that happened at our previous apartment complex, but now I’m not sure if I even want to move forward. I love her and care about her, and while we have been able to work through other issues in the past, I’m not sure if we can resolve this.
She broke my trust, she hurt me. We talked about getting married and starting a family. Part of me thinks I should just let it go, since it happened a while ago, but the other part of me is saying I should end the relationship. Advice on what I should do moving forward? Should I break up with her?
TLDR: my gf cheated on me a year and a half ago and Iâm not sure what to do
(I apologize for the repost, my submission keeps getting taken down)
6 comments
that would piss me off so bad, I can’t imagine the hurt you must feel and im so sorry. idk, I feel like once trust is broken, it’ll never go back to the way it used to be. one of my good friends mom used this example for broken trust: if you crumble up a piece of notebook paper, no matter how much you try to smooth it out, it’ll never go back to its original smooth, flat state
If she had sex with him, she will never admit it op, break up with her, if she cheated on you once even if she claims it was just a kiss, she still cheated on you, if she can cheat on you for just one kiss like She says she can do a lot more, and she’s still in a bind and tried to get you to get closer to him, for me she wants you to make friends with him so she can have a reason to have him around, I ask that you end the relationship, you have been warned good luck.
You’re really young, she’s pretty young too, plus you two were long fistance for awhile.
You should bring it up to her and try to work past it and develop a loving relationship… or you can call it quits and “move on”.
The relationship was long distance, so really, it’s no fault.
Your call.
Never stay with someone who didnât come clean on their own – ever. The classic- âwe only kissedâ. Youâll never know if itâs true and you will never trust her again because you know she can completely hide things. I will never believe anyone who can hide things and just go on living and laughing is actually remorseful.
I suggest breaking up with her
I dated someone who cheated on me on the first day of the relationship but only found out a couple months in
At that point I really started to fall in love with her so I over looked it
Then she ended up breaking up with me 11 months in stating âshe wasnât ready for a relationshipâ then started to date someone I considered a close friend right after we broke up :/
shes been cheating way more than youd like to know. I will never talk to a woman again after finding out just how disgusting they are