How to cut people out of your life?

27 comments

1. Slowly let them walk into the ocean and then get in your car and jet.

   They might call or text or whatever, it’s best to just let the distance grow and then you run into them one day and it doesn’t have to be weird, just keep it cordial and move on.

2. Tell them. Stop talking to them. Done.

3. I’m a big fan of letting them know straight up, especially in adulthood. There’s no beating around the bush.

4. Just do it. If you want to tell them why, that’s up to you. You don’t always need to do so.

   I cut plenty of people out of my life because they became crazed anti-vax conspiracy theorist and Jan 6 nutters. At a certain point it’s not worth trying to use logic and reason with people who have bricked brains.

5. Just tell em straight up. Ain’t no point in beating around the bush with fake friends. Cut em off and move on, simple as that. Don’t waste your time tryna slowly phase them out, just rip off the bandaid and be done with it. Trust me, I’ve been there before.

6. When I was younger I was more direct and told people I didn’t like something about the relationship or the way they acted or whatever. That approach usually led to a defensive reaction and frustrating argument.

   Now, I just ignore them. I’m not here to raise them and explain my feelings about their actions. Only once did someone confront me to say that I was kind of a jerk to just ignore them. I didn’t argue, let them have their say, and I never saw that person again.

   I don’t interact with people that make me feel bad. And I don’t feel it necessary to explain.

7. If you’re going to just leave, then it’s respectful to give the heads up as succinctly as possible and just ghost from there

   You should let people know but if you’ve already made your choice, it doesn’t do any good to belabor your point either

8. Just stop responding and block them. Why tell them?

9. I had to inform my friend of thirty years that he was dangerous to my wellbeing. We began our friendship at 11, and we are both 42.

   He is highly manipulative, sociopathic, and narcissistic. He is a pro at interrupting and sidetracking people. My best option was to write an email. I got to say almost everything I wanted, and there was no chance at being interrupted. If I had sat on it for another day or two, the other few ideas I didn’t think of during the initial draft would have come to mind.

10. Toxic/fake people tend to bring a lot of chaos when confronted about their behaviors so if you want to avoid a headache then I guess you can just leave as quietly as possible. If that doesn’t sit well with you then you can be direct about the friendship not being a good fit anymore. You can explain why but if you know that person isn’t exactly someone you can have a mature conversation with without them becoming highly emotional and defensive then you’re better off keeping things short. If you are fine with burning bridges then you can go in with guns blazing, lol. It kind of really just depends on who you are confronting and which approach you feel is right for you. Do what brings you the most inner peace.

11. Say if you’re going to continue behavior x then we can’t be friends. When they do behavior x, say sorry we can’t be friend anymore.

12. If you get to people who have addictions or mental health issues they may not understand why you are cutting them out. So it is easier just let the situation go, and move on with your life. I have an acquaintance who can’t get along with anyone. Not here kid, not her co-workers, loves to argue with people on the internet. I mean for hours. I slowly realized the problem is her not everyone else.

13. Just block, delete, unfriend or mute. This is the world we live in.

14. Scissors

15. Tell them honestly and politely that you can see no path forward where you can maintain your friendship with them while keeping yourself intact.

16. Depends on the individual, depends on the relationship, depends on the circumstance, depends on how much further energy you’re interested in investing in the relationship.

    The big thing is, (I work in crisis management, I have to say this) – do what is SAFE.

    But overall it depends on what is most practical – if they’re going to show up at your house and bust your knees with a bat, perhaps subtlety is wise. (Plausible deniability).

    On the other hand, if someone has significantly wronged you or someone important to you, then they may be in need of a stern and CRYSTAL-CLEAR talking-to.

    Particularly so if you and the toxic individual often occupy shared spaces (such as clubs, gatherings, communities). Often this is when we want to make it very clear that “you and I don’t jive – I’m not seeking conflict, but you stay over THERE, and I’ll stay over HERE, and we’ll be good.”

    Set and maintain boundaries that you feel are appropriate and meets your needs. If they are unable or unwilling to respect those boundaries, set (reasonable!) consequences for doing so.

17. I have done this several times in life, and it’s simple, ignore all calls and text messages and don’t ever call or text them. Simple! Cutting someone off is exactly that by definition, it’s quick and once it’s done you never look back. Think the young kids call it “ghosting”. 🤷🏽

18. ahh boy, currently working through this now. it’s hard but the pin must be pulled. Trust is fickle, Trust is earn.

19. With scissors.

20. I had this one chick who would text me constantly and always want to be around me. She called eight times in the middle of college math. I finally went and answered and said that basically I did not want to be her now or in the future and to please stop calling me and hung up.

21. Stop replying. Simple.
    If you’re in person, don’t meet them.
    If you’re in a group setting, just ummmm your way out.

22. Depends on how long I have known them. If this was a long term friend, I might chat with them and see if the friendship can be salvaged. Sometimes people change over time and don’t realize how they are making others feel.

    If this were a new friend, like only a year or two, I would probably just stop putting effort into the friendship and let them slow fade out of my life. If they were a major asshole or something, then I would block.

23. I did this to a former friend recently, I just sent a text saying their recent behavior was inappropriate and I dont see us working out as friends, then I blocked them

24. Literally just straight up cut them off. You don’t owe them anything, including an explanation or time to “get used to it”. If they’re toxic, and not willing to address it, then end things.

    It doesn’t mean you don’t care. Personally, I care deeply about some of the people I’ve ended up walking away from. It’s about having boundaries, and self-respect. And sometimes the kindest thing to do is show them that their behaviour is not appropiate.

25. When they do a thing that you don’t like, write it down. Then when they try to ask you to do something with them, address the thing that you didn’t like. See what they say. If they can’t agree that it was wrong, or should be changed then say I don’t want to be around someone if they are going to <whatever it is>

    For example I had a friend who would criticize me for many things, I was tired of it. So I said it directly. Like I am not going to play some computer games with you if all you are going to do is talk shit about me while we do that. And it stopped for the most part.

    But if it doesn’t then its a valid reason to not do things with that person. right?

26. I think I’ve only ever as an adult cut one person out deliberately, I told him he was no longer welcome at a group event and we stopped talking. I saw him a few years later and we were both friendly enough I just have no interest in being friends. He’d pissed off everyone in that social group a bit anyway so it wasn’t really messy or anything. I actually didn’t mind spending time with him one on one he was a good laugh but in every other way he was just a bit false and shady.

27. Just stop getting ahold of them. Stop taking their calls. Haven’t spoken to my parents in decades…